Reaching out to bigots

No one's going to vote for a Democrat because someone that they identify with the Democratic party called them a fucking ignorant redneck. No one is going to change their mind on social issues because they're called horrible names and looked down on just for being born to uneducated parents in a poor part of the country.

On the other side, no one is going to change if their bigotry is recognized as valid, as just another viewpoint to compromise with. That just confirms and reinforces it.

You can't force people to change. You can only provide an environment that makes it possible for them to change - which for most humans means having enough to feel secure, being accepted and loved for who they are, and getting a good education. If you're of average mental ability, was abused as a kid, went to overcrowded and/or underfunded schools where you didn't really learn much (and I'm not blaming the teachers - it's a function of the system), and don't know how you're going to pay the rent on your crappy trailer next month it's hard to develop a healthy self, much less a healthy sense of others. You don't have the tools you need to understand why your life sucks, and it's not your fault that you weren't given those tools. So all you know is that your life sucks, and Rush Limbaugh and his ilk seem to be the only people offering you any sort of explanation or sympathy. Or perhaps you find a sort of acceptance and self-esteem in a church like Rick Warren's. It's easy to project your problems on to an "other" when your ego development was stunted by forces outside of your control.

We don't need to reach out to people who use the problems of many of our fellow humans to propel themselves to power and riches. We need to reach out to their followers. And that doesn't mean validating their illness. It doesn't mean accepting what they do to other people. It doesn't even mean liking them or forgiving them for how they've injured the people unfortunate enough to be their designated scapegoats.

Personally, to me it means recognizing that they are human and that our system has failed them and looking for ways to improve their lives. I've seen it here in North Carolina - my generation is, in general, much less hateful than the people I saw in the videos in my America in the Sixties class. The majority of us went to better schools, were more financially secure, and had fairly decent childhoods.

Bigots are stunted humans. We need to provide them with an environment that encourages their growth so they can become fully human. And we also need to use every means available to protect those that they choose to take out their problems on. It's not a question of what sick and damaged people will accept. It's a question of what is right.

Hatred cannot be compromised with. The rights and well-being of others are not up for public debate and majority vote. Bigotry is not a valid viewpoint and it does not deserve a place at the terribly cliched table.

I guess my point is that you can reach out to bigots and see our common humanity with them while also fiercely protecting the members of their hated groups and seeing our common humanity with them. I can imagine myself as a young homosexual person growing up in a small poor town, scared and alone. I can imagine myself as a young white person growing up in a small poor town in a fundamentalist family that believes in abusive "discipline" and tells me that "the gays" are the outgroup and a threat and part of why my life sucks. I can understand and accept both. I can even love both, on a good day. But I cannot accept that it is okay for one to beat the other to death, to hate the other, to deny the other rights. Accepting one does not mean that the other is less than, that the gay person's rights aren't worth as much as being touchy feely with the bigoted person with the hope of getting the bigoted person's vote.

You can compromise with the bigoted person as he or she is now on the surface, and maybe get their vote. You can capitulate to them and continue to deny the humanity of both the bigoted person and the GLBT person.

Or you can invest in the future. Give people the tools they need to have a healthy self, to have a healthy view of others, to be able to think critically and understand how their world works so they can put the blame where it belongs instead of scapegoating monolithic stereotyped Others. Sure, it may not be popular among the corporatists or the leaders of the bigoted followers. Someone somewhere may call you a name and disagree with you. But if you don't stand up for change, nothing is going to change. Compromising with the present continues the present and denies the humanity in all of us.