Charlie Gibson summed it up best when he described Sarah Palin’s utterances as “a blizzard of words.” So it was with steely resolve and advanced preparation that I donned my metaphorical snow gear, including bunny boots, and sat down to listen to the State of the State address last night. Then I read the transcript. Then I listened to it again. Then I read the transcript. Then I thought that it really did need to be turned in to a blizzard of words, so I visited Wordle, and created a word cloud of the speech, which you can see above. I’ll get back to that in a minute.
I was amazed again at the difference between what she says, and what it feels like she says. When reading the transcript, it’s like wading through a pile of fluffy snow and stumbling over strained Alaskan metaphors buried inside. But when watching her confidence as she speaks, the ease with which she assumes the spotlight, and the assumption that everyone will agree with her, it has an interesting effect. This ability is probably why she’s gotten as far as she has. If her life were a transcript you had to read, she wouldn’t have gotten past the PTA.
After the viewings and readings came the daunting task of finding my way through the blizzard. Fortunately, Andrew Halcro has already begun . By the time I got up this morning, Andrew had almost finished shoveling the sidewalk. What a guy. He compared pertinent passages from last year’s state of the state address, with this year’s address. You can read his blog post HERE.
http://www.andrewhalcro.com/the_state_of_the_stateSo now, I’ll take over. Here’s my belated “live” blogging of the state of the state.
First of all… What. is with. the corsage? I do not recall other governors wearing boutonnieres. I feel like I’m watching someone on their way to the Junior Prom.
Lame joke about Mike Gravel.
Barack Obama, the terrorist sympathizer has grace and the ability to lead and we support him. (applause)
George W. Bush - The worst terrorist attack in the history of the United States happened with warning on his watch. But other than that, he “kept us safe” by lying us into a pre-emptive war which killed tens of thousands of people. We thank him for “keeping us safe.” (mild applause)
Thanks to convicTed Stevens. (standing ovation)
Why can’t we all just get along?
When creating the budget we need to be consistent and ignore fluctuations in the price of oil.
We don’t want the federal government’s money to fix bridges and roads. We just want it to support the gas line and the military, and we’ll give the rest back. Just drive slow on that soon-to-collapse bridge on the way to Seward.
We’re going to “hold schools accountable.”
“Culture of Life!” (wild loud applause by Sean Parnell, followed by polite applause from legislators)
Part of the healthcare crisis is due to the fact that we need to eat right and exercise. So do that.
To help you all eat wild food, we’re systematically killing predator animals from airplanes despite the will of the people, so that all animals may survive, especially the ones we want to kill.
We want to be good stewards of the land for our grandchildren and preserve the quality of fisheries, so I personally endorsed a ballot measure which is the first step in allowing a gigantic mine to get its claws into the headwaters of the largest salmon fishery in the state virtually guaranteeing contamination. Remember, God gave us mineral resources, not fish.
We’re committed to studying climate change, denying it exists, altering the findings of scientists, and suing the federal government for saying that it’s causing polar bears to become endangered. (Applause. Surprised nobody yelled, “YEAH!” and pumped their fist in the air) Remember, God gave us the resources, but apparently not the wildlife.
Every problem we have can be solved by a gas pipeline. You betcha.
We need to put thousands of Alaskans to work, and we’ve instituted a hiring freeze.
“The test of leadership is to be prepared.” “Fail to plan, and you plan to fail.” (blink. blink.) Nice quotes. What do you think about that rural Alaska? Emmonak? How did she say that with a straight face?!?
Did she just WINK? Yes, she winked. I had to rewind it to make sure, but there it was. 27 minutes and 54 seconds in to the speech. A wink. I can’t believe she winked.
On the campaign trail she learned about the need to protect her family, and her Alaskan family from the media. So don’t listen to anything they say about her.
“Like a grizzly with cubs,” Sarah Palin is our Great Mother, protecting Alaska against “external sensationalized distractions on the periphery” that “draw us off course.” Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain! the national media. Nothing to see here. Move along.
Circle up like musk ox under the Great North Star! Keep outsiders out!
Cheerleader Parnell stands to applaud. Others follow.
I run for the aspirin bottle.
The rest of the speech is full of promises, and “we’re going tos” and “we musts.” 50% renewable energy by 2025? Sounds good. Improve health care? We’ll see. We did save up some money last year, which is good because we need it. In state gas line in 5 years? (Looks at watch) Ready…Go!
What didn’t we hear about? Domestic violence. Substance abuse. Sexual assault. Drop out rate. Child abuse. Suicide. Teen pregnancy. Rural energy crisis. Emmonak and other villages choosing between heat and food. But those things are bummers, anyway.
Now, back to the word cloud. Take a look at it again. The largest words represent the words that were most used in the speech. Look at them. Alaska State Energy Now. In other words, “Drill Baby Drill.” “Drill Here. Drill Now.”
I live in Alaska. I get that energy is important for lots of things. But it isn’t everything. I would like to believe that a Mama Grizzly would care if her “cubs” are without heat, or food, or higher education for instance. But that’s just me.
So break out the bunny boots, because for now, it’s just a blizzard of words.
If you want to listen and read the transcript for yourself -- which I haven't been able to bring myself to do yet -- the links are at Mudflats
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