We're Never Going To Learn

http://www.buzzflash.com/articles/carpenter/298

THE FIFTH COLUMNIST by P.M. Carpenter

I really didn't want to write about the charmless debauchery of House Republicans again so soon, but when acute legislative events mix with the GOP's chronic yahooism, what's a helpless commentator to do?

It was shortly after 5 p.m. Central, and there on the screen was MSNBC's David Shuster quizzing Rep. Chris Van Hollen, chairman of the Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee, about the pending economic stimulus vote.

Then to split screen: Van Hollen on the right, the House floor on the left, upon which stood 432 representatives who were, in fact, already voting, as indicated by the superimposed and accumulating number columns.

So, asks Shuster of Van Hollen, what do you think? (The former was unaware the voting had already begun.) How much Republican support will you get this evening? Oh, says Van Hollen -- Republican Nay-to-Yea votes, 117-0, said the screen -- well gee that's hard to say with any precision -- Republican votes, 130-0 -- but I'm sure -- Republican votes, 155-0 -- that we'll get some reasonably respectable level of Republican support -- Republican votes, 172-0 -- because this vote, this issue, these perilous times are so soberingly momentous.

Commercial break, I flip to C-Span: Republican Nays, 177; Yeas, 0.

They had gone and done it; they had gone and shown themselves to be complete asses.

The totality of House GOP swinishness caught everyone off-guard, although it's difficult in retrospect to imagine why. For this is what they've trained and studied for: uniform infantilism, especially whenever the country cries out for mature governance and some -- any -- semblance of bipartisan compromise and cooperation.

Each House GOPer had his or her little militant manual firmly in hand -- their very own prized edition of Mein Dummkampf, penned by the macroeconomically ignorant likes of the party's Rush Limbaughs and dedicated to their stormtrooping baboon-corps of Sean Hannitys.

Said House GOP leadership member Cathy McMorris Rodgers of the bill in typical high Republican indignation: It's just a "typical bill that is full of wasteful spending" -- by which, one can only assume, she meant more needed funds for food stamps, more needed funds for children's healthcare and more needed funds for the still-unemployed, all of whom are bathing in the putrid afterwash and decadent desolation of her party's Gilded Age policies.

Elsewhere, some Republican Naysayers who didn't find the bill particularly "wasteful" instead found it excessive; those who didn't find it excessive found it insufficient; and those who didn't find it insufficient found it to be but a political ploy to buy working- and under-class votes.

By nightfall, amidst the scattered network interviews with the drill-team obstructionists, only one thing became manifestly clear: The GOP leadership cared not what particular problem each of its members had with the bill, but by God each member was to fucking find one.

In what some might characterize as crocodile tears, since the Dems were always numerically assured of carrying the day, Majority Leader Steny Hoyer noted that "We have acted in a bipartisan fashion working with a Republican president; now we see President Obama come down to talk to Republicans and before he gets there Boehner directs his people to vote against his program."

But I doubt Hoyer's tears were that smugly reptilian. What I do imagine is that he now envisions at least four grueling years of politically depraved indifference by near-monolithic Republicans, goose-stepping occasionally on other critical votes with perhaps philosophically wrenched but seat-protecting Blue Dogs.

The speculation now is that after Senate Democrats finish doing with the stimulus bill what the GOP resolutely refuses to do with most any bill -- compromise -- then 30 or 40 House Republicans will abandon their party's Soprano-family values and uncharacteristically cast a vote in favor of the nation's general and greater welfare.

But that's what everyone thought before last night, too, especially the ever-cheerfully optimistic Chris Van Hollen, right smack on national television.

cooperation.

I haven't heard it. I haven't seen it.

Seen any street corner demonstrations with signs calling for bipartisanship?

Me neither.

out for something different.

I guess we wouldn't mind all the posturing and sniping back and forth if we felt like they were voting for the people versus the corporate interests most of the time.

the Repos are standing together, firm, on an important principle.

Just the appearance of that is attractive.


edited to add- The Repos are usually good at winning elections. They are weak on governing. So this is consistent.