Stimulus Package Explained (Q&A)

This is from By Barry Ritholtz at The Big Picture... it's my understanding he is in favor with parts of the Stimulus Package, but he is just having some fun with some of the tax part of it and what people might do with the extra money.... it's all done in fun, but there is also some truth in it.

Sometime this year, taxpayers will receive an Economic Stimulus Payment. This is a very exciting new program that I will explain using the Q and A format:

Q. What is an Economic Stimulus Payment?
A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.

Q. Where will the government get this money?
A. From taxpayers.

Q. So the government is giving me back my own money?
A. No, they are borrowing it from China. Your children are expected to repay the Chinese.

Q. What is the purpose of this payment?
A. The plan is that you will use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.

Q. But isn’t that stimulating the economy of China ?
A. Shut up.

Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the US economy by spending your stimulus check wisely:

If you spend that money at Wal-Mart, all the money will go to China.
If you spend it on gasoline it will go to Hugo Chavez, the Arabs and Al Queda
If you purchase a computer it will go to Taiwan.
If you purchase fruit and vegetables it will go to Mexico, Honduras, and Guatemala (unless you buy organic).
If you buy a car it will go to Japan and Korea.
If you purchase prescription drugs it will go to India
If you purchase heroin it will go to the Taliban in Afghanistan
If you give it to a charitable cause, it will go to Nigeria.

And none of it will help the American economy. We need to keep that money here in America. You can keep the money in America by spending it at yard sales, going to a baseball game, or spend it on prostitutes, beer (domestic only), or tattoos, since those are the only businesses still in the US.

http://www.ritholtz.com/blog/2009/02/stimulus-package-explained-qa/

Apropos since that's where our economy is.

And I already have enough junk to have three yard sales. I guess I'll just put it under my matress and drag it out once in a while to look at it. Seriously, are people really going to receive a check?

are out of the question. Back in the '80s when we used to take our kids to Yankee Stadium, we got box seats for $12. The same seats now are around $400.

Build an electrical transmission line - same fucking thing.

Build a bridge - same fucking thing.

Same fucking thing for a weatherized low-income US home - it stays right the fuck where it is in the USA and doesn't go to fucking China.

These assholes do not have a fucking clue.