Pope Snubs Colbert

(Satire)

Today’s News in Brief:

Pope Snubs Colbert
Citing “experience and qualifications,” Pope Benedict XVI today named Archbishop Timothy M. Dolan, who in the last seven years has led the archdiocese of Milwaukee to two Final Four appearances, to succeed Cardinal Edward M. Egan as Archbishop of New York. Stephen Colbert, the host of Comedy Central’s ‘Colbert Report’, who in recent weeks had emerged as the front runner among Vatican watchers... http://thedesperateblogger.wordpress.com/2009/02/23/today%E2%80%99s-news-in-brief

Freed Guantanamo Detainee Arrives Home in Britain
Binyam Mohamed, who alleged he was tortured by U.S. interrogators during the 18 months he was detained in Morocco prior to being transferred to Guantanamo Bay, was finally released four months after all charges against him were dropped... http://thedesperateblogger.wordpress.com/2009/02/23/today%E2%80%99s-news-in-brief

Microsoft Denies Diversification Rumors
A corporate spokesman denied rumors the software giant plans an expansion into the banking industry. Rumors began circulating after Microsoft sent letters to laid-off employees requesting that they return amounts “overpaid” to them in their severance packages... http://thedesperateblogger.wordpress.com/2009/02/23/today%E2%80%99s-news-in-brief

‘Slumdog’ Sequel Announced
Less than 24 hours after winning eight Oscars including Best Picture, Director Danny Boyle announced plans for a sequel, to be set in the United States... http://thedesperateblogger.wordpress.com/2009/02/23/today%E2%80%99s-news-in-brief