I have a dilemma I could use help with

I work with a guy I consider a friend and I've known him for almost a decade.

Today he forwarded to me an email from his sister that contained a blatant racist joke.

Normally I would let this pass with a rude comment, but his sister is a Cub Scout master. She's in a position to mold young minds.

Do I let this pass with the hope she doesn't pollute any kids with her racism, or do I report her (I already have her boss' email addresses) knowing she will lose her job and I'll lose a friend?

Any input would be appreciated.

"Do you think she should be sending this kind of thing out? This kind of racist stuff can get her fired and that would be a shame."

..

His response was that it was just a joke and he thought it was funny.

He said if I emailed his sister's bosses, I would lose a friend. My response was that my friends wouldn't find the joke funny, they would find it offensive.

wrote a LTTE supporting then Pres. Clinton. It's a tough call, I don't know what I'd do.

I would certainly confront her about it.

I would tell her exactly my opinion. Your friend forwarded the joke, so he didn't think it was wrong either. Maybe you should think about who you hang out with.

too many variables, too many nuances for anonymous voices on the web to direct your choices.

Oh, you'll get plenty of emphatic, indeed demanding admonishments, but only you can make the choice because only you know all the details.

You already have a grasp of the situation, you need only apply your own moral code to the scene -- and by that, I'd encourage you to view this as both a moral absolute and an ethical quandary, for to do otherwise sells yourself and your friendship far too cheaply.

That 1 is the loneliest number?

:)

I agree with the DUer who said to tell your pal that his sister is risking job and her Cub Master position with this email.

I was surrounded by Republicans... and when they started yammering on I asked them to kindly keep politics out of scouting. It worked well with religion too.

Religion in ingrained in scouting. They don't specify a religion, but you have to believe in a supreme being (and the Flying Spaghetti Monster doesn't count). At Scout functions, they always pray before meals.

You are correct. That's why it worked. When leaders and others try to get specific, or attempt to coerce Scouts toward one religion or another, that is wrong. That is up to the parents. I held meetings, for instance, at a local Catholic school... because I knew several of the Nuns that taught there and were good enough to loan the room once a week. I had to assure a Baptist mother that her son would not be taught the catechism. Weird, I know, but I assured her we wouldn't be learning the Torah when we used the synagogue's multi-purpose room either. One of my boys was a Buddhist; his parents loved the idea of their son seeing the inside of different places of worship. It was a real problem for some parents.

There's a big difference between supporting religion, and supporting a specific religion.

My son's troop was always very generic. Prayers were non-denominational. I can see now how that would shut them up; preference of one religion over another is forbidden.

I even spoke up about a prayer in which "Jesus" was mentioned... knowing full well there were two Jewish children in my pack... one of their parents objected to "heavenly father" as well. I said, let's just say, "Dear God"... you can't please everyone, and nowadays, it seems there are so many "sensitive" people. But whenever someone complained, my MO was to invite them to the den and pack meetings, and ask them to help us out by looking through their child's book to see if there were any sections they felt they could add value to... it's not all glory being Cub Master:) But it was very rewarding. I missed it so much that I'm going to begin volunteering at the local Girls and Boys Town (this one in particular houses 16 girls at a time who are in between homes, foster care, etc.). I had my first meeting last Saturday. Those poor, sweet girls... they are clearly starving for attention. No wonder it's so easy for them to get into trouble. But I digress...

I would tell my friend to please not send me any more racist jokes no matter what the source.

...that most Scout leaders are pretty careful about what they say around kids. In the years that I served, I don't recall any genuinely out-of-line comments by those I served with.

I would remind your friend that the company is probably monitoring her e-mail, and that such comments on company machines can get her fired in a heartbeat, no questions asked, no recourse. It's just best not to send those things from work.


my 2Cs

So they're not even aware of her beliefs.

I know that sounds simplistic but when you have to choose between a couple of hard actions to take, choose the one that is BEST for all involved. Sometimes being admonished is the best for that person. Sometimes the best thing might be for you to privately make it very clear to that person you have no tolerance for racism. Maybe letting it slide and not saying anything is best. Or maybe exposing it is best.

Once you think of it in those terms the choice actually becomes easy because you aren't choosing based on what you want to do, but on what's best for everyone.

It's just a matter of time before she screws up and emails a racist joke to a scout's family or someone who works for the scouts.

But since my friend/co-worker found the joke funny, I think we're done.

Thanks for all the input (even the religion aspect posts), I appreciate it.