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Got Unsolved Crimes? Blame Khalid Shaikh Muhammad

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SoDesuKa Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jun-03-09 09:29 PM
Original message
Got Unsolved Crimes? Blame Khalid Shaikh Muhammad
People being tortured are generally eager to please, especially if they have an idea of what you want to hear. Shaikh Muhammad is especially willing to confess to unsolved crimes; this waterboarding is finally getting to him. And let's face it, every police jurisdiction in the country has a few loose ends they'd like to tie up.

Frankly, we're missing an opportunity not to put Shaikh Muhammad to good use, so that sheriffs and police chiefs from Valdosta to Tacoma can clear their books and start afresh. Here are a few candidates:
  • Mrs O'Leary's cow didn't start the Chicago Fire. That was Shaikh Muhammad's friggin' goat! An apology should be made to the O'Leary Family.
  • Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid weren't real desperadoes. The third partner, Khalid Shaikh Muhammad, was the one who put them up to it.
  • The Umbrella Man at the Grassy Knoll across from the Texas Book Depository was, yup, you guessed it, Khalid Shaikh Muhammad.
  • Who really snatched Patty Hearst? Folks blamed it on an entity called the Symbionese Liberation Army, but that was CIA code for Khalid Shaikh and his boys.
  • KSM assassinated the Archduke at Sarajevo. He sunk the Maine. He fired on the Maddox in the Tonkin Gulf.
  • He was Aids Patient Number One.
Any other ideas?
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Fozzledick Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jun-03-09 09:34 PM
Response to Original message
1. I thought Lee Harvey Oswald did it all by himself
and anyone who doubts it is just a "conspiracy theorist"
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choie Donating Member (899 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jun-03-09 09:48 PM
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2. they say Nero fiddled while Rome burned...
maybe it was Khalid?
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Hugabear Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jun-03-09 09:50 PM
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3. Khalid is the one who steals your socks from the dryer
Fucking bastard.
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SoDesuKa Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jun-03-09 11:47 PM
Response to Reply #3
4. Who Let the Dogs Out?
Well, now we know.
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