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I'm a sound engineer, and share your dislike of loud commercials. I also have experience of doing post-production work for both films/program material and commercials.
As mentioned in the OP, basically the rule is that the average loudness can not exceed the peak loudness of the program material. BUT in a film you normally have dialog and background effects and music at moderate volume, with the peak levels (typically 32x louder, because the decibel scale is logarithmic) reserved for important things like explosions, gunfire, dramatic music crescendos and so on.
However, by using a technique called compression, you can punch up the perceived volume of a sound without changing the actual peak loudness (in engineering terms, volume and loudness are notthe same thing, just like speed and velocity are not the same thing in physics). The net result of this is that when Billy Mays comes on he's not just loud when he says 'This is really AMAZING', he's loud all the time when he says 'THIS IS REALLY AMAZING'. If you see him in an interview or something he's still a fast talker but he doesn't sound like he's yelling all the time. The problem is that everything Billy Mays (or any other commercial) says is rendered out at the same volume reserved for explosions, gunfire, fat ladies singing, and so on.
Compressing the sound in this way results in some distortion, but not that much because the frequencies remain in the same relationship to each other, you're only making changes in the amplitude (it is a problem on some kinds of music - for example compression of a recording of a singer + an acoustic guitar will mess things up because the acoustic guitar well get louder every time the singer's voice pauses...but with multi-track recording, that easy to get around). The distortion on your TV speaker (which is OK for handling transient moments of loudness but not for extended excursions) is likely to be much worse.
The problem for the broadcaster is that it's very hard to take this back out. There is a technique called expansion which increases dynamic range, but using expansion on something that has been previously compressed sounds dreadful and doesn't remotely resemble natural dynamics. The real use of expanders is to reduce minor background noise on a normal recording to total silence - that's why you don't hear hums and fans and breathing in the background when a radio DJ pauses for breath, and why home videos usually sound like ass because all the ambient stuff is still there and you've become used to hearing it cleaned up for you in real movies...by people like me.
Now, the broadcaster could take all commercials and reduce them by 12 dB to get something approximately similar to the normal dialog level in a movie. but doing that will result in the advertisers kicking up a huge fuss (and pulling their commercials, which is what pays the TV station) because it won't just make Billy Mays quieter, it will kill the level of the sound effects or the background music, which were designed to work at a certain level. So they usually take the commercials as they are submitted by the advertiser, and the people who records the commercials for the advertisers are paid to deliver something that sounds punchy - ie, as loud as all the other commercials on all channels, because they don't know what they're going to be played next to - and won't get rehired if they submit an advert that plays politely with the program material (this has actually happened to me).
So the broadcasters are not lying to you. Trying to correct for the loudness of a commercial which is submitted already fully mixed is a real problem: the techniques of expanding or just turning the volume down are both going to result in calls from angry advertising producers demanding to know why the broadcaster butchered their commercial playback - this sometimes happens to actual shows as well, which results in even more calls from angry viewers and angry content producers (this has also happened to me, as I work for a TV show now). Since 99% of people just grumble and reach for the mute button, broadcasters long ago gave up trying to deal with this. They hate it just as much as consumers, but no broadcaster wants to be the one to try to change it and then lose all all their ad booking in retaliation as punishment.
This 'loudness war' is also an issue in music production If you look a recording made in the last 10 years (especially pop or dance music) you'll see a much higher average loudness than on an older song. But this is not just a nefarious plot on behalf of record companies. It's also got to do with the fact that FM radio broadcast pre-compresses the signal fed into the transmitter. In order to give a CD the same 'punch' as a song heard on the radio, both home and professional producers typically administer compression to the songs before they go to a record executive, who might otherwise dismiss it as not sounding punchy or exciting enough. Additionally, since FM radio compression distorts the original recording somewhat, the best way to keep it sounding the way you intended when it leaves the studio is to do your own compression first rather than leaving the sound of your recording up to the broadcast settings, which can vary.
Really, it should be the FCC mandating this instead of Congress. But the FCC in recent years has become much less about broadcast standards (apart from the occasional fuss over nipple and people saying Fuck) and much more about licensing and administering electromagnetic spectrum (which is Boring but Important). So I'll settle for congress handling it (by forcing the FCC to administer it). The language of the bill is short, to the point, and technically correct (ie it articulates the rules in a way that is meaningful to a broadcast or sound engineer). You should probably call your congressperson and ask them to support it, or better yet team up with 5-10 firends and make sure they get plenty calls, because the ad industry will complain about it and suggest that it forces them to make a different mix of every commercial for every different channel/program it is meant to be shown with - eg a louder version for a romantic comedy or an action movie than for a drama or suspense thriller. There is a marginal degree of truth to this argument, but in practice it's not going to have any real significance. So get your phone on and go all Billy Mays on your congressperson!
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