Several young teens accosted my in-laws about the status of their souls' after-life at a boardwalk.

Actually, it was at a pier near a boardwalk in Florida. They said they answered about four probing questions, then my MIL proceeded to innocently bushwhack them with all sorts of distracting and irrelevant comments and questions. No harm done with them, I guess since my in-laws decided to take religion seriously about five years ago.

If those had accosted me like that, I'd probably told them it was none of their business. If they had persisted, I would have told them it was none of their fucking business. Then if they cotinued, I probably would have show them my boobs to gross them out.

Aren't vacations fun?

but I'd like to see your boobs.

reduced. I still have scars. You'd be scarred for life.

of your boobs. :evilgrin:

we've seen to much of THOSE during the past eight years...

a couple of babies aren't that cool even after reduction surgery.

My wife is almost 50, and her ta tas...well, I'll leave it there.

;)

I usually go all crazy evangelical on their ass when they bother me--cite the studies that their method of evangelizing has the lowest results and that they're wasting God's resources, and then I hit the Bible citations. They usually back off and leave me alone after that.

come calling. I guess the boob thingy doesn't work the same way, huh.

Really, this thread wasn't supposed to be about tatas.

to me and ask if i was "born again". i said, "sir, i've been born many, many times." he didn't know how to respond.

to them in this neck of the woods.

was mentioned, it would have come from the devil. lol

Ya know, Jesus was a truck driving son o bitch.

"Hiwa kolnaro fookawee spisnarty hoomert juppooty usnowah!"

Then ask them if they knew what it meant, and when they said, "No", point at them screaming.

I am invited to stay with my sister (in Wisconsin)for a few days in September. I will be in WI that month for a race at Road America, so I have to visit family (all are there). Usually, I am exposed to her for very short time frames, and she uses the entire time to warn me about not being allowed into Heaven until I accept Jesus as my personal Savior. ALL e-mails have same warnings. I have decided to stay in a hotel, and have prepared two possible answers to her invitation. Not sure which one I will use, but since I will have to be with her at family events, I will likely choose #1:

1.S- thank you for your generous invite, but I have decided to stay in a hotel. I rarely get any "alone" time, and I think it would be good/healing for me to have some quiet time alone.

2. S - I understand that you are required to "witness" and save my soul. Nonetheless, I believe that you have been kidnapped into a very dangerous cult (Fundamentalist Evangelicalism) and what you call "witnessing," I call "recruiting." I am not the least bit receptive to being recruited.

Any other ideas for a response to sister are most welcome.

It worked for me. I was brought up in a moderately to heavily southern baptist family. I "came out" as an atheist a few years ago. It was hard for some of them to accept, but they mostly have. I'd try telling your sister that you're not interested and ask that she not badger you about it as you feel like it's driving a wedge into your relationship with her.

She's still in the first phase of conversion and thinks that her answer is the right one for everyone. The only way to get through to her is to let her know that the harder she pushes, the less likely you are to listen and the more likely your relationship is to suffer. She won't take too well being told she's in a cult (plus, it'll help her feel persecuted by her own family, which you don't want), but she might listen as a sister and realize you might cut her off entirely if she goes too far.

for christians trying to save me.

You're asking me to believe that a jewish zombie who was his own dad will make me live forever if I symbolicly eat his flesh and telepathicly tell him that I accept him as my slave master,so that he can remove an evil force from my soul that is present in humanity because a rib woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat from a magical tree. Makes perfect sense.

Be sure to wear a hazmatsuit when using this reply.It makes their heads explode.

Succinctly put.

But that's just me.

Which apparently went on at length. I've always been sorry no one had a video or tape recorder around for it, but it was the stuff of campus legend for years.

Of course, it helped that he had actually been a child tent revival evangelist in a previous time.

:wtf:

I would have just said, "I don't care to speak with you," and moved along.

Sometimes the hatred of Christians on this board is, frankly, rather odd.

I'll save that long, long story for another time.

forcing me to hang up on her and be the discourteous person.

I think the hatred of xtians is based in the insistence on converting the nation and the planet.

Faiths that don't proselytize aren't hated.

not really.

Jews do not proselytize, and yet anti-semitism is alive and well.

And many, many Christians don't do that, either. Actions speak louder than words for many.

about Jews.

Those many, many who do not proselytize? Ecumenical denominations were not the majority, last time I checked, and the only denominations that don't encourage proselytizing, to my knowledge, are not exactly accepted by the fold.

It IS true, though, that the noisy get more attention that model, rather than preach, their fatih.

You get it? Jesus was Jewish, but it was those damn Jews that murdered him. It was the Romans, nah, they're good guys--it was the Jews. Now you just know that Pontius Pilate washing his hands of Jesus' blood was probably inserted for the sake of Romanizing the movement. I love how parts of the NT actually distance the sin of the Romans--Saul of Tarsus, a murderer of Jews and Alexandrian (very Romanized) probably has influenced the texts more than the man himself, Jesus.

Or, better yet, take it into the bathroom with me, turn the water on, flush the toilet, etc.

It's right up there with "Pardon me, but I couldn't help but be concerned about the state of your reproductive organs" or "You appear to be middle-class. How much do you make, exactly?" or "Have you considered the possibility that you might be able to have more sexual opportunities of you were bisexual?" or "Do you have a problematic relationship with your mother?" Now imagine any of these questions coming as a straight-up cold call from a total stranger, and you'll have some idea about how pushy salesmanship regarding religion feels to those of us who consider spiritual matters to be personal.

they behave like salesmen. And really, no one wants to be "sold" like that.

I would think they'd get much further by making a point of cleaning up trash along the beach (sure, wear a t-shirt with something about your organization), or setting up a shelter nearby.

I'm pretty skeptical about the success of any of these sidewalk or door to door efforts. Just what are they trying to achieve, anyway? You won't get much toward real understanding in a few minutes conversation. It often seems like they really do operate much as those salesmen, and the goal is just to arrive back saying they talked to X number of people.

We had one get very pushy a while back with my husband, outside a concert. When he told them to mind their own business and leave him alone, they just got worse, and then started getting really nasty with him. All I could think was, "this is what's going to persuade someone to see things your way? Really?"

preach the gospel every day; when necessary, use words.

Actions always speak louder. Set an example and I think you'll get much further.

Asking someone for directions is not accosting, but asking someone if they are born again (or whatever line used) is implying that their view of life is inferior and must somehow be improved...just add Jesus. There's a big difference and I personally don't take kindly to perfect strangers questioning how I live. It's none of their business and the sooner the get that through their thick, self-righteous skulls, the sooner we can all live in peace.

Someone accosting (yup!) me about religion is almost certainly coming from this perspective: they have The Truth, and I don't, and I need to change to their way of thinking Or Else. Not only is it insulting and patronizing, throw in the threat of Hell and you've crossed the line into extortion. They make Christianity sound like a protection racket. "Nice soul ya got there. Be a shame if something happened to it."

with three more q until they couldn't figure out a way to continue without sounding like they were going to declare that my inlaws were evil.

I don't recall the OP saying s/he hates Christians.

:wtf: indeed.

A favorite past-time for some.

Would you walk up to a total stranger and try to discuss your opinion of Desperate Housewives?

No? Then why should it be okay for someone to walk up to me and try to discuss something so personal as religious beliefs? It's simply none of their damned business, they ARE accosting me, and I feel no need at all to be even remotely polite.

Chicago is a pretty chatty city, it's not uncommon for strangers to share brief exchanges about all sorts of things.

Innocuous, impersonal things. Like the suckiness of the CTA or that obnoxious party that kept the whole block up last night or the weather or maybe even, yeah, a popular TV show or something.


NOT anything personal or private, though. like I said upthread, nosing into some stranger's business about religion is just as bad as doing so about sex, money, or family: firmly in the None Of Your Business category. Cause if a stranger is asking me about any of those things, it can only be because he or she WANTS SOMETHING from me: "buy my product, give me money, fuck me, join my cult." Nuh uh. Fuck off.

Believe it or not some people have actually had very bad experiences with Christians, because of their Christianty. Additionally, it might help you to know some Christians are obnoxious, bigoted and perhaps some of the most hateful motherfuckers to walk the earth.

I personally don't hate Christians or any other religious group, I do have great disdain for the nasty ones.

Julie

but Christians are not fulfilled unless they are being persecuted, so it's a win-win for everybody.

That's not at all hateful though is it?

I mean calling somebody gullible and annoying is SO much worse than saying a perfect all-loving being will, and should, burn them in torture for trillions of years, right?

of these starry-eyed young missionaries so I can amaze them, astonish them, and render them catatonic with my feelings about them and their god.

When I lived in Florida, I'd get them at my door at least 3 times a week and they really made me sick. For a time I was polite and simply said I'm not interested, but some of them take that as a personal challenge to convert a person to Jesus, so I started telling them to fuck off. Ive been living in L.A. now for 1.5 years and haven't as much as seen a Christianoid until 2 weeks ago, where I was intercepted on an open street and asked about my eternal soul. I was on the phone at the time, so I told the woman I don't go to church, whereupon she said, "Oh, that's ok. God bless you.", and I saw red. I couldn't help it. I told her that I know it's ok and that I don't need her approval. It went from there.

Did I say I can't stand these people?

lets just say going into Buddhist theory and the reincarnation of the soul really freaks them out.

Or if you really want to mess their minds up... there is no hell... that is actually Jewish doctrine. There is no heaven. Depending on what you did how close or farther away you are from the creator after death.

That is even scarier to the fire and brimstone crowd!

Of course when they go... there is hell... SHOW ME... they can't... one of those lovely mistranlsations in the King James Bible. Oh and a good dose of medieval theory

................

Wait, what?

:hide:

They do summer projects at popular tourist spots every year.

I'd just ignore the fuckers. That fucking simple I don't give a fuck if im rude. god fucking damnit.

Wear a t-shirt with one of these verses....

http://www.cafepress.com/landoverbaptist/75553

And I tell them so. Generally with a threatening comment such as "get the fuck out of my face while you're still able".

"I'm not afraid to go back to prison." Always spices up a threat. :-)

Julie

as they do. I had an interaction with a couple several or so years ago. They never came back.

And wanted company and intellectual stimulation..

Then, since being worshiped is boring and not at all intellectually stimulating, She created religion as a way to weed out those She did not really want to keep in Her company since they would be boringly worshiping Her.

It's as good a theory as any and really makes their heads explode if they try to grok it at all.

Eternal Salvation for only $30, with a Triple-Your-Money-Back Guarantee.

No other organized religion can beat THAT.

We had to stand in line in a hot gym to pick up cards in those days - another student came up and asked me if I died that night did I think I would have eternal life.

I was far from home for the first time in my life (as far as residence was concerned) and did not appreciate that sentiment at all.

It just shows how crazy and inconsiderate fundamentalism can make people be.