To DemBonesDemBones & Lerkfish:

Just got back on DU for the first time since yesterday, and just saw your posts in regard to my niece (in a domestic violence situation) and wanted to thank you both for your nice messages.

There is so much about d.v. that I don't understand. This is not the first violent relationship that she has been in, and she doesn't know why she keeps attracting the same types. And neither do I. She is a wonderful, beautiful, talented young woman, with a loving and supportive family. This was not something she was raised with, nor that she ever saw, so I don't know why she would think this is a normal part of any relationship.

The guy is in jail, but I think the most we can hope for is that he will be there for about 8 more months. Not long enough, in my opinion.

She lives in another state, and both she and my sister know that if she ever needs a place to go where he won't think to look, my home will be open to her. Don't know what issues that might involve, if he has visitation or partial custody of their child. But we'll cross that bridge when we get to it.

The biggest problem I foresee is that she may voluntarily return to him. One of my co-workers is a social worker with a background working in d.v. shelters. She has recommended a couple of books about the effects of d.v. on children.(_When Dad Hurts Mom_ is one of them) I will purchase them and give them to my sister. My niece won't read them, but if someone else does and tells her about what this will do to her little boy, it might make a difference.

So, thank you both for understanding how much this hurts me, too.

a bag packed, money and, thanks to you, a safe place to go.

To tell you the truth, I hadn't thought of that.

And may I remind you that, should you host them in your house and a psycho breaks in -- you can shoot him with impunity.

Jus' sayin'.

Unfortunately, I don't own a gun.

I hope that she can get out of this nightmare situation.