How can we care so little about each other?

Today I was in line at the grocery store and the cashier asked the person in front of me if he would like to donate $1 to the food bank. He went in to a big speech that basically could be summarized as "Screw them I've got mine".

It reminds me of a situation that occurred last year at work. Basically we had an employee who very few of us knew on a personal level. She was a VERY shy and quiet person. One of our best people though. I didn't know much about her other than the fact she had a young child.

One day she suddenly stopped coming in to work. We could not reach her at any number we had on file for her. Someone else at work who knew her was telling everyone that her husband was HIGHLY abusive. Basically that he made her quit her job, took away her ability to talk to anyone outside, and was beating her badly every day.

So naturally on hearing this I was concerned for her well being. I decided to look up her address and go over to see if she was ok even though I realized this was a risk to my safety. Her husband answered the door. I was half expecting him to attack me, but I told him I was one of her co-workers and I was just coming over to see if she was OK. To my surprise he invited me in and offered me a drink.

Turned out the stories of abuse were completely wrong. They were totally exaggerated and she and her child were fine. They were having some marital problems but there was no abuse going on. They actually ended up appreciating that I came over to check on her, and to this day we all have ended up being good friends.

But what blew my fucking mind was the response I got at work from people after word got out I had gone over to check on her. I was basically told by some people that I was wrong to have gone to check on her, and that whatever was happening to her we should have just pretended we never heard. I was told by several people the next level above me in management that "If she needed help she would have been able to get it so you shouldn't have checked to see if she was ok" (which I know is BULL SHIT because I came from a family with abuse going on and it went on for years. It is not always easy/possible to get help... especially when everyone who knows about it pretends it isn't happening)

I even had one person tell me "I personally would NEVER risk my safety to do something like that. You are nuts".

One person kept asking me WHY I went to check on her. As in the reason for doing so. He kept trying to get me to explain it. It was like his brain couldn't understand the concept of being concerned for another person.

Half these people prior to this were acting oh so concerned for her, but apparently didn't give a fuck to do anything about it.

But it just blows my mind how people can rationalize not giving a damn about anyone but themselves, and actually try to bring down anyone who does have concern for anyone else. I think it speaks volumes about why this country is in the shape it is today.

Are more people just like you :loveya:

That's why we don't have things like health care or a good social safety net.

'The Cold Within'

Six humans trapped by happenstance
In dark and bitter cold
Each possessed a stick of wood--
Or so the story's told.

Their dying fire in need of logs,
But the first one held hers back,
For, of the faces around the fire,
She noticed one was black.

The next one looked cross the way
Saw one not of his church,
And could not bring himself to give
The fire his stick of birch.

The third one sat in tattered clothes
He gave his coat a hitch,
Why should his log be put to use
To warm the idle rich?

The rich man just sat back and thought
Of wealth he had in store,
And keeping all that he had earned
From the lazy, shiftless poor.

The black man's face bespoke revenge
As the fire passed from his sight,
For he saw in his stick of wood
A chance to spite the white.

And the last man of this forlorn group
Did nought except for gain,
Giving just to those who gave
Was how he played the game,

Their sticks held tight in death's stilled hands
Was proof enough of sin;
They did not die from cold without--
They died from cold within.

-- James Patrick Kinney

What a great poem! I shall have to save that.

Thank you.

-Hoot

She really was a cold hearted bitch. I would go as far as to not classify her as a true human being.

She has done more damage to humanity than basically any other philosopher I can think of. And that's assuming you even want to classify her as a philosopher.


Her evilness lives on in the libertarian movement.

Then of course they are crying for help from whomever will give it, but before this they condemn others viciously.

It really is in many places.

that was very nice of you to make sure she was alright :hug:

rationalizing their cowardice and selfishness. You did the right thing. I would've done the same. There are people out there who are like you.

I know that sounds simplistic but my childhood was full of neighbors and co=workers coming to each others aid. After a few years of the Reaganettes blasting "me me me" from every airwave in America for a decade or two my adulthood is not full of neighbors and co-workers coming to each others aid. Oh we are there, it's just not THE NORM anymore.

remember in situations like this you can always get local law enforcement to do a welfare check, i did one recently for a similar situation, the caller actually was smart and went to the house and intercepted me out front and explained their concerns. There were major issues at the house and now CPS and social services are involved as well as the courts.

But I didn't want to do that on one persons info.

If I would have seen/suspected something going on after I went over that would have been my next step. I figured the worst he would likely do was kick my ass, in which case the cops would have had a reason to arrest him right away.

Caring for others is seen as feminine, and many in our culture are so terrified about revealing or confronting their feminine sides, that they jump through hoops, hysterically denouncing any character trait even remotely feminine.

Machismo has nothing to do with being masculine. It's about being not feminine.