Yo, Freeptards! Wanna hear a joke? - Democratic Underground

The Doctor.

(1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Wed Aug-26-09 05:55 PM
Original message

Yo, Freeptards! Wanna hear a joke?

Sadly, I recently went and filtered through the trough you all wallow in. You know… the site you frequently use to exhibit the failure of reason that pervades this nation. I’m not going to comment directly on what I found there, except to say that the proof of your collective character has been put on high-resolution display for history to judge.

It will not do so kindly.

First, I’d like to talk a little about the man;

He wasn’t perfect. He, perhaps above anyone, knew this. He never denied being a human being. He also never treated anyone as though they were ‘below’ him in his public life. You’ve made yourselves judges of a man you knew very little about except for instances in his life whose intimate details could only ever be known by the handful of people closest to him.
It is in that personal place you all have decided to pour your bile, because that is a far less taxing intellectual pursuit than a studious perusal of his life as a public servant.

We all know just how much you all hate being ‘taxed’ and all.

In this reality, regardless of whether you choose to live in it or not, he fought for you. No, maybe not all of you… just the ones that weren’t millionaires. He also fought for business owners, the disabled, college students, cancer patients, the elderly, pregnant women, renters, and children of military men/women. He fought to increase the number of police on the street, and stiffen the penalties for gang-related violence. He voted to increase the minimum wage (don’t laugh yet, that’s going to be part of the joke), create summer jobs for minors, boost supplies for the troops in Iraq+Afghanistan, and allow each of YOU to vote at the tender age of 18. (Not that a few years more experience would have made a difference in your collective case.)

I know, I know… tracking someone’s voting record means you have to do a bunch of research and reading… and that’s an awful lot harder than just listening to what your corporate programmers tell you to believe. So I’ll break it down and give you the punchline;

IF you, or anyone you care about;

- Are not disabled, nor ever will be,
- Have never been granted a student loan,
- Are not a senior citizen,
- Do not own a business with employees,
- Were never pregnant and;
o Hoping to keep your job
o In need of assistance to buy food.
- Didn’t bother to vote until in your 20’s
- Never worked a minimum wage job,
- Have never been, nor intend to be in a union,
- Didn’t study a foreign language in school,
- Are a millionaire,
- Do not, nor ever will have a disabled child,
- Do not, nor ever will have a learning disabled child,
- Have not, nor ever will make use of;
o Attorneys for the indigent
o HEAP or LIHEAP
o Medicaid
o Medicare
o Social Security
- Were not, nor ever will be in the military and in need of child care,
- Have not, nor ever will put a child into a Head Start program.
- Have never had any intention of keeping your personal medical information confidential,
- Were not a soldier in Iraq or Afghanistan.
- Never had or will ever have cancer,
- Never went, or will ever go for a mammogram,
- Never felt those on welfare should ever work,
- Have never, nor ever will take your child to a children’s hospital,
- Don’t work in or care about biodefense technologies,

… Then he really hasn’t done much for you… be as ugly as you want to be.

Now here’s the punchline;

We all (that includes you all) know that 99.99% of you Have needed, or know someone that’s needed the programs that Senator Kennedy was instrumental in bringing about. For us here on DU, it’s a sad kind of entertainment to watch ‘people’ like yourselves disparage someone whose service you have directly or indirectly benefited from… likely when you or a loved one needed it the most. It’s not unlike watching monkeys piss in a pool and then dip in and drink from it.

We’re used to your hypocrisy though, and I know very well that you don’t get what’s so funny here. The reason for that is quite simple;

So you sit at your keyboard, the warrior shit-flingers you are, and cast mindless hatred on someone while you have been or may one day be a person that is disabled, has children or loved ones who are, needs treatment for cancer, wants a better education for yourself or your children, takes your medical privacy seriously, is ever out of work or at a low-paying job, ever signs up for Medicaid, Medicare, or Universal Health insurance once it becomes available (oh, you will), or ever falls into the situations he’s fought to help protect you from, then what you likely do not now, nor ever will understand is;
The Joke is YOU!

Now we just shake our heads and laugh sadly to ourselves… because the punchline is lost on you.