Congress Deadlocked Over How To Not Provide Health Care

Source: THE ONION

WASHINGTON—After months of committee meetings and hundreds of hours of heated debate, the United States Congress remained deadlocked this week over the best possible way to deny Americans health care.

"Both parties understand that the current system is broken," House Speaker Nancy Pelosi told reporters Monday. "But what we can't seem to agree upon is how to best keep it broken, while still ensuring that no elected official takes any political risk whatsoever. It’s a very complicated issue."

"Ultimately, though, it's our responsibility as lawmakers to put these differences aside and focus on refusing Americans the health care they deserve," Pelosi added.

The legislative stalemate largely stems from competing ideologies deeply rooted along party lines. Democrats want to create a government-run system for not providing health care, while Republicans say coverage is best denied by allowing private insurers to make it unaffordable for as many citizens as possible.

"We have over 40 million people without insurance in this country today, and that is unacceptable," Sen. Orrin Hatch (R-UT) said. "If we would just quit squabbling so much, we could get that number up to 50 or even 100 million. Why, there's no reason we can't work together to deny health care to everyone but the richest 1 percent of the population."

Read more: http://www.theonion.com/content/news/congress_deadlocked_over_how_to

it is not "late breaking" .... FAIL

In that both sides agree that there's no reason except political risk preventing a solution being hammered out.

That's all it is.

"This administration is committed to not providing health care," Obama added. "Not just for this generation of Americans, but for many generations to come."

If both parties could avoid the constant petty bickering and work together, they could put together a health services denial system so effective that it would eliminate the need for a health denial service by eliminating all but the top one percent of Americans, then the top one percent of that one percent, and so on and so on and so on . . .