I lost my grandmother this weekend.

I just lost my grandma saturday.
My mom called and she was barely keeping it together as she told me.
Grandma made it to the morning and Mom was already on the way when she passed.

The entire time I knew my grandmother she was in a wheelchair. To be honest I blame her religious beliefs for that.
There was medicine she could have taken for her rheumatoid arthritis.

She had a strength of spirit I never considered.
She was always upbeat and cheerful.
Not always happy, but glad to be alive every day she was.
She believed in people.

I have many regrets on how I viewed her.
Never really negative, more that she could have fought her condition more.

I have gout, a form of rheumatoid arthritis - ive had it since i was 22. I'm now 34.
I'm over weight, and have always been (tho at the time I was in year 5 of Martial arts training and in decent shape), so I don't really blame anyone but myself for pushing it over the edge.
But it was her firm belief that it was for god to decide if she should be healed or not.

She did not have to be in pain for the last 30+ years. She didn't have to be in a wheelchair - her legs were the first to go...
I learned to fight fate by her example.
I learned how to fight from my other grandmother
and they both tried to teach me of god's love, and protection.

I only have my step father's mother.... other than that I'm out of grandparents.
I feel old.

Why do pastors allow their flock to live in pain? Why do they say "god will heal you if you are worthy of healing"?
Grandma was certainly deserving and loving and wonderful. a very bright light and source of love in this world has gone out.

I'm glad her pain is over.
It's hard to grieve at her passing because she made people happy when she was alive, and was in so much pain, especially the last few months of her life.
Her pain is over, and I'm happy about that.
She won't have to worry about bed sores, about being dependent on someone else for everything.
About so many things.
We had to put her in a nursing home many years ago.
Before that she lived on her own with my sister, mother or a nurse coming buy every so often to help her, do laundry, groceries, etc.
Over all my grandmother was a independent woman all her life - such as it was.

Her first husband left her and my mother to go.. where ever. he was a artist, or some damned thing.
My 'grandfather' was a good man who fell in love with and married my grandmother. He was a teacher.
She leave behind twin younger sisters, a daughter, 2 grand children (plus a step grand son), 2 great grandchildren (my niece n nephew), and many people who love and will miss her.

If I don't stop now I'm going to start crying...not a good thing when at work >.>

It's good that you can take comfort that her suffering has ended. Take care of yourself, you deserve it. :hug:

You have my condolences!

She passed away in 1980 and I wish every day of my life that she was still here.

:cry: Grandmothers are special people.

:hug:

My sympathy to you and everyone who knew and loved your grandma. May she rest in peace.

Just remember what you learned from her, and think of the good times you shared with her.

Sending good thoughts your way.

Grandmothers can be very special and yours sounds like she was one of them.

:hug:

It's hard to say goodbye, and I know your life has been enriched because your grandmother was part of it. Be well.

:hug:

Celebrate her life.

and even sorrier that you hear from any pastor who implies that only those worth healing get healed...such a person is not a true pastor.

It's so hard to say goodbye-but she's at peace now.
I had a grandmother, and mother, who had that basic philosophy (and suffered), so I understand the frustration involved.
Wishing you happy memories.

Heh but please un-rec me.
This is not worthy of the greatest page.
Again thank you all so much!
:grouphug:

My condolences, sending vibes and love to help ease your pain. :hug: :hug: :hug:

thoughts.

I'm so sorry for your loss, but even more for what your poor grandmother endured, believing that her god wanted her to suffer. That's so terrible, I can't even begin to understand how you're containing your anger. What kind of god wants his subjects to be in pain? Even Pat Robertson had heart surgery recently.

As someone who has RA, I cannot imagine how your grandmother lived without the incredible medications that afford me a normal, pain-free life. She must have suffered terribly, and, yes, inflammation will kill you.

She didn't have to go through any of this, but her faith controlled her. At least she's no longer in pain.

You, in honor of her memory, will take the best care of yourself that you possibly can. First, lose the excess weight. My rheumatologist told me about how the enzymes that cause so much of the inflammation are manufactured - are you ready for this? - in belly fat. So, your weight works against the medications you're taking to treat your gout. You'll get better results if you slim down.

Also, avoid red meat as much as possible, don't smoke - you know all this already, I'm certain.

Don't be afraid to cry - you'll feel better and you get rid of those bad chemicals in the tears. Plus, you loved her and you're going to miss her, so crying is a good, good thing. We cry when we lose someone we love.

Just take good - better - care of yourself. Be a living tribute to your grandmother, and if you get a chance to punch out her minister, do it. Or, if you want, I'd be glad to do it for you.

I am so sorry for your loss...................................

There are many whose grandparents were gone before they became aware. I'm one of the very lucky ones, I not only had a Grandma (on my Mom's side, my dad's family is from PA and I never got to know them), I had a Great-Grandma as well. Both were very large influences on how I see the world.

My grandma died of Alzheimer's, and for the last ten years of her life couldn't even feed herself. I refused to go see her in that condition, and I'll never forgive myself for that. When I went to her funeral last April, I couldn't go see her in her casket until my Aunt and Mom escorted me. Seeing that frail little lady finally resting in peace, knowing her soul was finally wherever my Grandpa's was gave me a feeling of great relief. I made a comment about my Grandpa having breakfast ready for her just as she had always had it ready for him, and we all laughed while we cried. Grandpa couldn't cook soup.

I feel for you very much. In fact, reading your post put tears in my eyes. We all feel such loss, those of us left behind when our ancestors leave us for that better place, wherever it is. That's natural. My Grandma's Pastor put it in perfect perspective for me when he told me that my grief was actually a jealous emotion. At first I felt like jumping on his desk and kicking him in the teeth. He went on to explain that it wasn't her I was sorry for, but the hole in my life that she left with her passing.

Go on with your life. Make her proud. I'm sure she's smiling, wherever she is, at your need to say something good about her and the good response she got here at DU from people who never even knew her.

Don't be angry with her for her beliefs. From your post, it would seem that she wasn't unhappy in spite of the decisions she made. Hold her in your heart, and live by her example: Do what you believe in, and make the best of it.

I'll light a candle for her, as I always do when I hear from a DU'er who lost a loved one.

would be very upset if they lost me. My prayers and thoughts are with you.

:cry:

with you. listen hard and she will let you know. Hugs, honey. :*(