I'm a Liberal My Wife is Republican

The topic speaks volumes and I'm wondering if anyone else out here is in the same situation. As you know this can and has caused problems and I'm wondering just how this can be dealt with. Just today we were in Wal-Mart shopping and a mutual friend came up to us (she works in a public school cafeteria) and starts rambling on about Obamas school speech and how she thinks its the wrong thing etc. Of course the wife chimes in agreeing with her knowing full well this was going to upset me. I have agreed not to watch Maddow or Olbermann because it upsets her. Should she respect me as well?

I will add we have a son (my step son) who is in the Navy. She has joined just about every type of organization like Navy Moms Online, Blue Star Mothers etc. I have no problem with that but suspect she is getting her "talking point" from those organizations. It seems like her son and these organizations have taken #1 priority in her life and it is causing problems. I have been able to deal with this for the last 2 years but now politics? This is getting tough!! What should I do? Talking just does not seem to work and when I challenge her to prove her talking points, she walks away.

:-). I don't have that problem because I would never have married someone who didn't have the same political views (married for nearly 35 years now). We were still in the middle of the Viet Nam War when my husband and I met, so it was easy to have some common ground then.

Welcome to DU :hi:.

you think and can say around her. Notice something: she does and says what she wants even though she knows you will be upset. She doesn't seem to mind hurting you. Tell her so. Tell her that the wraps are off and if she wants to have her say, so will you. And watch keith and rachel. If she doesn't like it, she can leave the room. You have to assert yourself or you will have a stroke from this inequity. A loving person would allow you to think and do. Stand up and be counted. You will feel better.

I used to stream cspan from my desk at work. I knew all the Senators by voice and I could recite Bill #'s and roll call votes. Every time he recited a talking point I could refute it with facts. No arguing or preaching at him, just hard cold facts. I also listened to Limbaugh from time to time just so I had a handle on what the other side was thinking. He was impressed that I could back up my stands on the issues.

He started coming around during the Clinton impeachment hearings. He's still registered as a Republican but votes for the Dems every single time.

SweepPicker You should both sit down together and watch one hour of Maddow and one hour of Beck. Ask her which one sounds smarter. On the other hand, she might say Beck and then where would you be.

Maybe you should agree not to discuss current events with each other at all. We've had to do this with other family members. If the situation's just hopeless sometimes it's best to just back off and hope for some peace. I often wonder what dinner is like in the Carville/Matalin house.

Democratic wife marries Republican husband. We had a verbal pre-nup: I told him that I volunteered in the campaigns of local Democratic candidates and that I planned to continue. (I also told him I didn't do breakfast--lol.) He would spout some Republican talking point, and I would counter with the facts. At first, he just quit bringing up politics. By 1992 (we married in 1985,) he was voting straight ticket Democratic AND helping me in local Democratic campaigns. Just present her with the facts and be prepared to refute the wingnut talking points with the TRUTH. When your wife spouts the wingnut talking point du jour, just calmly tell her you disagree, and back it up with facts. Don't bring it up yourself, just be prepared to defend your point of view. Believe me, she will start looking things up on her own, and she'll come around. Good luck.

then he would listen to me until i was done. and i would keep mouth shut for a period until i exploded.

i started noticing he was informed on what i was exploding about. he was getting informed behimd my back. i figured self defense.

a funny thing happened along the way

he voted kerry. then obama. and swore he would never vote repug again, even htough we still say he is repug

he cannot stand what repugs have done over years. and he started getting informed just to see if what i was giving him was true. that was enough

Of course we need only look at the great, late Molly Ivans (rest her soul) to know that :)
And Jim Hightower.
And a few friends of mine
Well shoot now that I think of it there's at least one entire City filled with decent people...;)

Texas gets a bad wrap from the idiots that scream, not the good people that work hard.

Glad to hear you caused a convert towards the cause Seabeyond :)

"There is nothing more dangerous to (our) government than a well informed electorate" - Ronald Regan

your wife apparently doesn't want you to have your own opinion. And she wants to make sure that you are shielded from reality (you watching real news upsets her??, or is it more likely that she hears the real news from Maddow and Olbermann and her cognitive dissonance is bothering her). Either way I think you need to assert yourself.

I would suggest that you stop acting like a typical democrat (letting the republican control your agenda)and start acting like Bernie Sanders. She can have her opinion, just don't let her control yours. Traipsing around each others opinions is a recipe for (marital) disaster.

GK

It is apparent in this relationship who runs the show.

Maybe strive to find mutual interests that doesn't involve politics that you both would enjoy and learn to tolerate her politics as one learns to tolerate a spouses snoring in one's ear all thru the night.

I sense that you are suffering from the Stockholm Syndrome. Stop trying to appease your oppressor!

Tell your wife you're going to withhold your affections and your money until she either sees the light or leaves.

Life is too short to put up with this bullsh*t.

:puke:

please tell me this is sarcastic.

or any damn one you want to and join liberal/progressive organizations. How in the hell do you let her get away with that shit!

Then how do you explain the fact that she does not respect his values?

It's like a fundie marrying an atheist. Or a dog marrying a fish.

I'm not about to suggest laying down the law or cutting off sex and money as I know so little about the situation. Plus, we are only getting one side of the story.

But I agree. Caveat: I haven't been in a significant relationship since 2000 - so WTF do I know?

Anyway, my 2 cents:

It's not just "politics," it's an entire values system and philosophy. I'm sorry to say, I don't see this as a marriage that will still be intact in 10 or 20 years. I wish you good luck and best wishes.

He's not allowed to watch Keith or Rachel because it upsets her while she what continues to engorge herself on right wing bullshit and silences him in public as well. (Which is basically what I call it when one cannot speak one's mind) Additionally, knowing that the talk of politics upsets him she continues to have this conversation where she rubs her views in his face? Not for nothing, as I have never been married but this doesn't sound remotely healthy and I can't see such a relationship continuing long term. Unless one enjoys being disrespected on a daily basis.

YOU are responsible for YOUR happiness, personal growth and fulfilment in life.

Sharing a home is a great way to cut costs. But if a fear of being alone is the only thing that keeps you together -- is that really a sustainable basis for the rest of your life?

I don't know anything about your situation and I would never advise anyone to give up on a relationship. But this is the 21st Century. The days of staying in an "unhappy marriage" just for the sake of appearances belong to the past.

For me "love" is about much more than sharing a bed. Personally I could not share my life with someone who did not share my values nor respect my opinions.

While you are making up your mind you can keep up with your favorite msnbc shows online at msnbc.com

Sorry I am a buttinsky but I think I see part of the problem....

"I have agreed not to watch Maddow or Olbermann because it upsets her. Should she respect me as well?
"

You are hiding your beliefs and opinions (albeit at her request) and expecting she do the same.

It might be "fair" but it's not reasonable. You both have ideas about the world and not expressing those ideas is not productive. People want to express their ideas and feeling like you cant' only breeds resentment (especially when it's with a close family member)

I would say watch Maddow and Olbermann to your heart's content and let her rant and don't be afraid to defend your views (without getting angry of course. It's just politics)

You guys will fight but I think that may be good. After all, I presume you didn't' marry her for her political views anyway.

That's my 2 cents which of course you are free to ignore.

A compromise would be you agreeing to watch only 1 hour of msnbc per evening.

Or you can get headphones and watch your favorite msnbc shows online at msnbc.com

All of my friends are Liberals as is my ex-husband, all of my family as a matter of fact. I find that there is such a difference at how Republicans and Conservatives view the world and have a value system far removed from mine.

I suggest that you shouldn't suppress your feelings anymore and have a heart to heart with her. You can't let her play mommy to you, telling you what to watch etc. That she should respect your views as you have been respectful to hers. If she doesn't understand, you'll understand about what I said about values.

I wish you the best of luck and welcome to DU!

it is her duty to be subservient to the head of the household, which, since you have a penis, happens to be you.

Then tell her how to vote and what to believe.

:sarcasm:

facetiously of course.


well... I'd still say it.


My first thought when I read the OP's title was, "so.... when's the divorce?"


I, of course, hope they can work it out.

I married a Jewish girl.

More

:sarcasm:

watch Keith and Rachel. I have a TiVo so it makes it easier for us to watch shows the other one doesn't care for at our leisure.

And my family. I wouldn't know what's left, if I couldn't talk about those. Seriously, what's left? The rising cost of dog food? (which would bring up the economy, which brings one back to politics).

mostly about how amazing our kids are, TV shows and movies, happenings about town and school etc etc.

For the more in-depth politics and religion I come here, to my other family. ;)

Just ignore your country and pretend you have morals, it's so much easier.

Nice user name there mullard12ax7. I have a couple Mullard 12AX7's in a 1970 Marshall 50 watt head and they sound killer!

I lost more than a few friends because I can't hold back when it comes to politics and religion.

I don't do small talk. I don't give a hoot about the office, what color the walls are painted, or the new texture of little Jane's boogers.

I too guarantee any discussion about my dog will find its way back to politics. I could not be in a relationship that doesn't stimulate me intellectually. I'd go mad.

This will buy you the time you need to figure out if it is worth staying in this marriage or if it would be better to choose freedom and be true to your own values.

I couldnt do it.
My husband was a DUer, and a progressive liberal. to me, anyway, politics start in the bedroom and kitchen.

Thanks to the many replies! I did not expect this many in this short of time. My wife and I were just discussing our opinions towards Obama for one and she says he is sneaky and she does not trust him. Brought up the flag being painted over on his plane incident which I debunked for her right away. She had only read part of the article at Snopes, I had control of the computer and should her the rest. Her response "I still dont like him he is sneaky". I did well huh?!

To those that think I may be a weak man: I stopped watching those shows because our son was a guard at Gitmo and I suspect she told him some things and I of course was tuned in to Maddow and Keith hard at the time Gitmo and Obama was the hot topic. She does not think Gitmo should be closed or the prisoners should be imprisoned on our shores. We got into a minor disagreement one night and she made the comment "it breaks my heart that you sit there and watch that and my son was a guard there". I did not say anything to her but out of respect, stopped watching the shows when she is around. By the way, my son feels the same way. He does not think the "terrorists" should be locked up on our shores.

I like the idea someone here mentioned that we should watck Beck and Maddow. I can tell you this, she does not care for Rachael as she thinks shes condescending. She does however seem to like Keith so we might be able to do that. I do hope Beck goes off on a tirade when we do watch it so she can see just how loony he is. The wife did mention tonight that she is in favor of the public option so there is hope. I also must mention she is registered independent so I made a mistake with the Republican thing.

Not sure how my marriage is going to go. We have a 9 year old girl and my wife is going to college to become a teacher. I told her I will wait this out until she completes college and go from there. I cannot leave her and my daughter right now because that would put me in a world of crap and I do not need that. Anyway, thanks for the welcomes and I did not mean to throw all this garbage out here!

So it turns out that your wife "is in favor of the public option" and "seems to like Keith" (Olbermann). If she regularly votes for Republican candidates that would be a problem for me (whatever her party registration says). But seeing as you guys have a 9 year-old daughter together then obviously it would be best for everyone if you can find some way to work things out.

here-today-gone-tomorrow WMD that have cost nearly 5,000 American service people their lives, the lives of hundreds of thousands of Iraqis and drained the U.S. treasury. That's beyond sneaky and into Houdini category. P.S. You've got my sympathies.

I'm a little miffed at those who have already written off your marriage. I've been married to my Republican for 37 years now. We've been together since the Nixon days. We used to have lots of arguments back in the early days & we survived & flourished. I wised up over the years and learned how to present my points without being defensive. Asking questions often brings out unexpected answers.

My husband used to say things like "unions are ruining this country". I asked him, why do you say that. What makes you think that organizations that help employees receive fair treatment from their employers are a bad thing? His answer? He can't be in a union. So why should anyone else. Geez, he's in a profession that pays a decent wage & he's considered management. Funny, but he was quite happy to participate in the fully paid health insurance plan that my "union" job provided us. He learned even more after I spent a year on the negotiating team and had to actually deal with big bad management. I don't hear that many complaints about unions from him anymore.

There are still many things we disagree about politically, but that's ok. I've learned more by listening than by shouting.

I'm curious as to what she's been telling your young daughter. Here's a little suggestion. Both of us decided not to push our respective political views on our children. We would sit and sanely discuss current events without offering our opinions. We encouraged them to listen, read, and watch everything. Learn to develop your filters, sift the facts from the rhetoric and speak for yourselves. It worked. We're able to have intelligent conversations about politics with our 30 something sons. One registered as an independent, the other, a Democrat. I'm so happy they base their votes on what they learned, not on how their father or told them to vote.

Good luck, I have a feeling things will work out.

I appreciate the well wishes. One thing that got my attention is your comment: I'm curious as to what she's been telling your young daughter. That has crossed my mind but I dont think she has discussed her beliefs with my daughter. I did let her know I want my daughter in school Tuesday and I want her to hear his speech. She said she has to go. I think what she meant was "I'll be in college, your working" so.........

Perhaps your daughter is the key to a more open dialogue with your wife. I'm a firm believer of exposing children to every side of the story. I encourage them to ask questions. Since it's a child asking the questions, hopefully a parent will think before answering, lest the child think they are a dumba$$. :) You'll be teaching your daughter to think rather than to spout out talking points.

Here's a fine family activity - sit down together and watch a Town Hall meeting. You should get some great questions from that one.

"Mommy, why is that man wearing a gun?", "Why are these people screaming at each other?","Why do they want their country back, who took it?"

I think you could have a whole lot of fun with those answers.

Where is she going to teach? Perhaps at one of those wacky so-called Christian religious schools. The day that my wife told me that I couldn't watch a certain program would be the day I would be seeing a lawyer.

For one my wife did not tell me I could not watch those shows. I did that out of respect for her and my daughter who likes to watch TV at those times when school was out. I'm certainly free to watch them if I so choose. As far as teaching, she will be teaching elementary classes.

"I have agreed not to watch Maddow or Olbermann because it upsets her. Should she respect me as well?"

You turn the program on and she throws a fit. You didn't say a damn thing about it conflicting with your daughters favorite programs. Then you come back and say that you can watch them if you chose to. Which way is it?

Now your twisting my words. Where did I say she throws a fit? I said it upsets her and the reason it did was because of the Gitmo stuff and my stepson who use to be a guard there. Maddow was slamming Gitmo (rightly so) and the wife did not like it. She got upset one night and told me that it breaks her heart that I sit there and watch that stuff and her son was a guard at Gitmo and in danger everyday. I think she blew it out of proportion with her comments but you know how that goes.

You remind me of talking to a Republican. It is anyway you choose to take it gramps.

Sub-thread removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

your stepson liked his job at Gitmo I take it, probably asked to go there?
I can guess his opinions on muslims.

Racism shows itself in many ways, some subtle some obvious. I have some family members who are racist, anti-immigrant. They have changed the way they talk about their racism since Obama came on the scene, but they themselves haven't changed.

I finally had to stop talking to them- I almost preferred the blatant racist statements they used to make- I could call them on it and they knew what they sounded like. Its like they went 'underground' when Obama ran for president - they said things like 'I'm sorry but I just don't trust him, blah blah its not cuz he's black but he just seems sneaky'

so when you say your wife used those words the bells started going off

yes I'm afraid there is a load of garbage in this country.

It could be, but just saying you think somebody is "sneaky" and you "don't trust them" isn't in itself racist.

as did a lot of republicans I knew. They could never explain what they meant, just 'I just don't trust him' or 'I just don't like him'. I figure they got it from the republican meme pool. Although 'sneaky' is a peculiar word to use.

Great. Just what we need, another Republican idiot indoctrinating our children!

:sarcasm:

in front of you.

:shrug:

a shrink, but it sounds like you have more problems than just different opinions concerning politics. People whose basic life-philosophies are polar opposites, and can remain true friends, are a very rare breed. One should not have to give up a closely-held belief, or radically alter one's lifestyle choices, in order to maintain a relationship.

Have you considered counseling?

you've got major problems.

are ardent Republicans. We are both finding it more and more difficult to spend time with them
because life is too short to have to bite your tongue or creep around political issues to "keep the peace".


Letting your wife dictate what TV shows you watch or where you get your news seems to be giving her
a lot of power over choices that should be yours. Unless there is only one TV in the house
and a coin toss is necessary to determine who gets to control the remote, I'd be inclined to
tell her you will make your own choices what to watch.

But do you guys just hang together for the make-up sex?? :evilgrin:

The worst time in our marriage was during the 2000 election. That was awful.

When I met him (around 1990), he actually voted for Clinton, but later told me he felt "betrayed" by Clinton, he thought he reached out to moderate Repubs before he was elected but then turned left after he was in office. He then got worked up over the impeachment proceeding, and when 2000 came around he was firmly against the Dems. We argued a lot during that election season, and watching Bush take office was agony for me.

After it became clear that Bush was going to be a lousy president, he started to drift from his party. He was raised a Republican and I think that had a lot to do with it. He never really listened to Rush, Hannity, FOX, etc.; it was easy for him to see how vitriolic they are, and he sees them only as entertainers, spewing angry talk for ratings. He didn't vote for Bush in 2004, though I don't think he voted for Kerry either.

He liked Obama from the get-go, but he still seems to feel some "team alliance" with the Republicans, and sometimes will make a crack about "you Democrats". Secretly, though, I think he was pulling for Obama, and while he keeps his voting to himself, I think his vote went to Obama. What he seems to like about Obama is that he's smart and not divisive.

If you ask him, he'll say he's mostly a-political, disgusted by politicans. He also would say that his party was hijacked by the far right, which he equates with the far left.

Out of respect for him, I don't watch political TV in front of him. I hate cable news anyway, and do a lot of reading on the internet rather than watching TV.

We agree on many things, and have found a lot of common ground. We share most of the same deeper values, and we agree almost 100% on childrearing, which is the most important thing we do these days. That's good enough for me. I respect him, and he respects me. Love conquers all. :)

Good luck, it can be tricky, particularly when the country is this divided.

He also would say that his party was hijacked by the far right, which he equates with the far left.

My Republican husband says the exact same thing. He's livid about it. He stays in the party hoping to make a difference during the primaries. Fat chance. We're in New York where we don't need no stinkin Republicans.

and turn on Keith, or Rachel.

Just can't. Or a Patriots fan.......

My ex was a repuke - she did let me challenge her and now she's a democrat. Republicans are afraid of the truth - I could NOT put up with willful ignorance in my house.

any more than they could tell me who my friends are, how to vote, anything else. You need to tell her you expect as much respect from her as you've given. Nothing more, nothing less.

And next time, marry someone who shares your values.

I was a centrist when I met my wife, and she has pretty much stayed Republican the whole time I've known her. Meanwhile I've drifted to the left.

The odd part is, she spends a lot of time helping people and giving of her time and money to charity. Which is usually not what I expect out of far-right types. I love that part of her.

She was been pretty annoyed with me when I voted for Obama, but she's coming around. During the election, the kids knew we had a good natured civil war going on, and they both cast their lots for Obama, which made me feel just a little bad. It felt like an unfair 3-on-1.

But my wife and I tolerate each others' points of view pretty well, and we connect on a personal level that is so strong I can't imagine being married to anyone else.

Whoever gets up first in the morning picks the news station, so we get an even mixture of Fox and MSNBC. This serves as a good opportunity for me to point out the obvious bias in a lot of these Fox headlines and crawler texts. Like water against a stone, I'm wearing her down just a little each day. Isn't that what marriage is about? ;)

Although I was a registered Dem. I have been politically aware since Clinton and was outspoken against Bush. My husband took a stand with Bush after 911 and we had a very difficult 6 years and had to agree not to discuss politics. I was pretty disgusted at what I saw as his ignorance but we did have a life outside of politics.

During this last election he asked me one day what websites I looked at and where I got my info. He started looking at DU and some other websites and started watching Olbermann and Rachel, just to see the other side. Well, low and behold, he did a complete 180 and is as liberal as I am now. Life is good.

what did I miss?

puts up a hypothetical in which a significant number of people are going to weigh in with either "divorce her" or "stop listening to the bitch".

It just seems to me that somebody coming to an aggressively political discussion forum would be uncomfortable talking about something so personal on his second day here.

It took me months before I could talk about my blow up doll fetish.

:spray:

a registered republican? Does this lead to conflicts? Does she belong to yje Palin in 2012 Committee?

One was not enough so I ended up bringing in her sisters:




"Noi" on the left, is a literate person who herself has a fetish for

Kukrit Pramot



Kukrit was the great old leader of the Democratic Party in Thailand. You will remember him as being the Prime Minister in the classic Marlon Brando movie, "The Ugly American". He would later beome the Prime Minister of Thailand. He was openly known to be gay but when somebody brought it up in front of the cameras he said that he would be happy to disprove the allegation if only the questioner would be happy enought to loan his wife for the night.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kukrit_Pramoj

Noi is a faithful follower of the Democratic Party and shows up for all of the "Yellow Shirt Demonstrations"








"Lek" on the right seemed to be perfect in the begining but then it developed that she was a supporter of the faux reformer
Thaksin Shinawatra



http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thaksin_Shinawatra

She ended up joining the red shirt demonstrations




"Dang" is in the center, and while chaste in all matters of personal conduct is a political whore.

She sells out and goes back from yellow to red depending on how much either side pays her. In this picture you can see her made up and pictured on both sides of the ideological colored shirt spectrum.

a family reunion with the Irish side, from "first generation" right on through. The discussions on politics were intense, to put it mildly. I haven't laughed that hard in some time.

dude but I did go off base but I am by no means a troll. I should not have gone off the deep end with only "10 posts" but I guess I did. I of course am a newbie and am not quite sure how this place works. I can say this though, I am 100% Democrat and back Obama 100% as well. If I have offended anyone I certainly did not mean to. Plus I donated 50.00 so how would I NOT be "one of yous"?

sometimes you will find that some inconsiderate posters will take any advantage to go snarky.


You will know them by their lame attempts at humor.


Welcom to DU.


As to your OP I thought that the key issue was not that you have different political points of view - look at Carville - but that your wife seems to want to make it an issue in an indirect way.

Your probably going to have to have a very earnest talk or create a "no politics zone" when either is around.


My suggestion is that you start volunteering at a food bank and start bringing her with you - leaving politics completely out of it. Let her connect the dots.

I'm fairly new to politics so if I make a boo-boo or two, you'll know why. I'm just sick of all the idiots out there who being led blindly by people like Glenn Beck and I see these military people getting to my wife through emails. Is the military really that pro-Republican?

of course in the enlisted ranks he would have lots of support among AA and hispanics. Among better educated more rounded officers you will find Obama supporters.

"Among better educated more rounded officers you will find Obama supporters." Interesting but makes perfect sense. I suspect the wife does not care for Obama because my son (stepson) does not like him either.

there are plenty of dems in the military.

Why don't you just agree to disagree.

"...sometimes you will find that some inconsiderate posters will take any advantage to go snarky...."


Were you addressing ME, ya little hoser???

You think James Carville and Mary Matalin have a healthy marriage?

Every morning they play CROSSFIRE across the breakfast table. (as far as I know)

My guess is that Carville gets a sick kick out of f***ing the enemy.

He always struck me as one twisted individual. You can see it in his eyes.

At the most, Carville/Matalin are the exception that proves the rule.

Don't commit to someone who hates your values and dearest beliefs.

That is a very good point but I just started getting into politics in the last year. Her views about politics started after my stepson went into the military. If he was not in the military and she did not receive her "talking points" from emails forwarded by her military mom friends, there would be no political issues between us. I believe my wife has major issues because of her father leaving her and her family as a kid and her first husband who became an addict and left her. She does not trust me or men period except her son who will always be her son no matter what. That is my assumption anyway. I have been to counseling and my counselor said I did not have any issues. Wow, all this and I did not even mean to throw this out there!! Oh well, good therapy for me I guess!!

talking about personal things if no one knows who you are?

I am just suspicious of others

comfortable.

Now we just have to do something about the Jodhpurs.

"I have agreed not to watch Maddow or Olbermann because it upsets her. Should she respect me as well?"

Yes, she should respect you, and you need to grow some damn stones, dude. Turn on the tube and let the fireworks fly. Arguments are not to be feared in a marriage.

same shit, different arguments.

a marriage is about respect and working together to make us better people. It seems there is little respect in your marriage and messages sent between you two that hinder positive growth. If all that my partner and I had to talk about was TV or what's for dinner, I would be looking to make serious changes in my life. At times my partner and I have fairly serious differences but we respect each other enough to give space for passionate emotions and listen to each other and try to understand. Politics is life; the rules and regulations we live by and what determines how our children and grandchildren will fare. We all need to be involved and be open minded enough to learn from each other.

If you are committed to your marriage, you should not allow her to disrespect you by intentionally saying and doing things that she knows upsets you and you should never give up watching whatever TV show you want unless it directly interferes with her well being. p.s. doesn't help to aggresively challenge a loved one - listen to her and help her try to rationalize her views, in a calm setting with the facts available and she will eventually be able to listen to yours...

Why, oh why, would you do that? Celibacy and penury seem preferable.

He used to be a conservative

I love The Ed Show. Much more fun than Keith or Rachel. He cuts through the BS.

I love how he called Rush Limbaugh a coward:
www.politicususa.com/en/Schultz-Limbaugh-Coward

http://ed.msnbc.com

Your wife sounds controlling.

She dictates what you can watch on t.v. & she walks away if you challenge her? She has control issues.

This is big stuff. Core differences without mutual respect don't work well in a marriage. Go to counseling. By yourself, if she
won't come.

While I operate the remote, my wife tells me which channels to select.

She sometimes gets angry with me about the time I spend here at DU but she's staying at her mother's place tonight so now I can spend all the time I want here. At least until she returns.

I often remind her that I get to make the final decisions on anything of importance. She says she'll let me know when that time comes. That time hasn't arrived yet.

When I just want to crash out and sleep on the couch, my wife may get upset and say I don't love her anymore. When she wants the entire bed to herself some nights, she'll tell me to sleep on the coach.

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/31mwx0o1FCL._SL500_AA280_PIbundle-2,TopRight,0,0_AA280_SH20_.jpg

dude- grow a pair.

I'm very far left and my husband is very far right. I watch everything (even Fox) and I read everything. I can speak articulately on any political subject. My husband cannot. I watch and read both sides so that I know what I'm talking about.

He speaks only in slogans and sound bites. His inbox is full every day from World Net Daily, Glenn Beck, Ann Coulter, Newsmax and many others. He can only repeat the headlines.

Politics is a passion for me. I want to know everything and I want to speak to everything. I would NEVER agree to not watch Keith or Rachel because he is a conservative.

We're married 27 years. I guess it's true that opposites attract. We are opposite on so many facets of our lives but it just works because there is respect for one another.

and welcome to DU !

most of my partners are apolitical. used to bang a conservative chick though...

Amazing head.

when I was growing up.

They will celebrate their 53rd wedding anniversary this month.

Even better, they both voted for Obama in the last election and raised two liberal daughters (though I wonder about my sister ever since she voted for Reagan once, back in the day).

Because of that contributing factor, we never bicker or argue liberal/conservative ideological views since we're both on the same page morally.

But I'm gonna stay tuned for sure because this could get interesting. Welcome to DU :hi:!

drop her like a hot potato. I stopped letting people tell me what I could watch on TV when I bought my first TV.

.. I could not do what you are doing.

Fortunately my wife and I agree on almost everything, especially politics.

Assert yourself.
It is a rare woman that respects a man they can walk all over.

I think you got deeper problems than politics.

This does not bode well at all for a long-term future, unless you want to be a doormat husband.
During the past several elections, I know that my husband has voted for the Democratic candidates even though I am pretty sure that at the beginning of our marriage (of 28+ years) he voted for Republican candidates for President even though he has always been registered as a Democrat. But he is not a progressive and leans more towards DLC-type accommodation, so we do have some spirited discussions even now.
The point is that we are able to have those spirited discussions. "Challenging" her will make her defensive. What you need to do is to inform yourself and whenever she uses her "talking points," calmly rebut them with the facts. You can watch Keith, Rachel or anyone else you want on-line if she doesn't want to watch with you but you should not knuckle under and not watch at all. She should also compromise by watching Fox or anyone else she wants to on-line. Try to get her to watch Bill Moyers or even the Lehrer Newshour; PBS is not as good as it used to be but it is better than the news networks generally are. Moyers is always superb. If she really is too narrow-minded not to watch the facts or factually correct presentations with you, then your problem is more than politics.
It's great that you have a son, step or otherwise, in the Navy, and it is understandable that he is a top priority for his mother (that's the way we are when our "kids" do dangerous things) but I am not sure why you believe that the military or organizations supporting the military are necessarily spouting only RW talking points. Some of the most progressive people I know are currently members of the military or vets, and military support organizations include mothers, fathers, wives, husbands and other family members who are not simply blind followers of RW hypocrisy, if only because they want to keep their loved ones safe.

There is only one way: divorce.

Anyone who says anything different is lying.

when talking politics you aren't just talking politics, you are talking about base human values. Generally speaking Republicans value success, money and power and they will do anything to get it. They don't care about who they hurt or who they step on to achieve "success". Democrats have different base values, they value life, love, health, and joy, and they aren't willing to cause others pain to get it. If your values don't match your SO's at the base then you have no foundation on which to build a relationship.

she won't change

Republican philosophy, see how she likes it in practice.

None.

Good gawd, I don't know how I would have survived the last eight years if I hadn't been able to vent with my husband...Massive amounts of alcohol, maybe, instead of just moderate amounts ...

I'd feel like I was sleeping with the enemy.

Don

I imagine for many people, politics is more important than the state of sharing love.

Don't waste another day.

Notice the past tense.

Not much help, I know, but I could not tolerate the superficial, self-centered, and paranoid thought process. He had no ability to empathize with anyone's situation but his own and he became increasingly racist which was the last straw for me. I was fortunate enough to see the light before taking the plunge.

Since you are married, maybe marriage counseling would help. Your wife joining these organizations might be helping her to cope with your step-son being in the Navy, however, it sounds like you are feeling shut out. The obsession with Republican talking points might be a symptom of some bigger issues with her. Your wife's issue might be an inability to deal with the stress of her son being in the Navy and the fear of him dying. These groups help her escape and her fear of losing that escape might be causing her seek absolute approval of these support groups' members in almost a cult-like fashion.

Maybe she can't defend her talking points because deep down inside she knows they are BS. But in her mind admitting this might mean emotionally giving up the support these groups provide her.

If the marriage is worth saving, get into counseling.

Conservative media take note: Reagan preached tax cut gospel to America’s students
September 03, 2009 1:09 pm ET by Matt Gertz

Putting aside possible ulterior motives, the conservative freak-out over President Obama’s planned speech to students urging them to stay in school and work hard is due to fears that Obama will use his platform as an opportunity to push his agenda on unsuspecting students. Ironically, that’s exactly what President Reagan did two decades ago.

On November 14, 1988, Reagan addressed and took questions from students from four area middle schools in the Old Executive Office Building. According to press secretary Marlin Fitzwater, the speech was broadcast live and rebroadcast by C-Span, and Instructional Television Network fed the program “to schools nationwide on three different days.” Much of Reagan’s speech that day covered the American “vision of self-government” and the need “to keep faith with the unfinished vision of the greatness and wonder of America” but in the middle of the speech, the president went off on a tangent about the importance of low taxes:

Today, to a degree never before seen in human history, one nation, the United States, has become the model to be followed and imitated by the rest of the world. But America's world leadership goes well beyond the tide toward democracy. We also find that more countries than ever before are following America's revolutionary economic message of free enterprise, low taxes, and open world trade. These days, whenever I see foreign leaders, they tell me about their plans for reducing taxes, and other economic reforms that they are using, copying what we have done here in our country.


I wonder if they realize that this vision of economic freedom, the freedom to work, to create and produce, to own and use property without the interference of the state, was central to the American Revolution, when the American colonists rebelled against a whole web of economic restrictions, taxes and barriers to free trade. The message at the Boston Tea Party -- have you studied yet in history about the Boston Tea Party, where because of a tax they went down and dumped the tea in the Harbor. Well, that was America's original tax revolt, and it was the fruits of our labor -- it belonged to us and not to the state. And that truth is fundamental to both liberty and prosperity.

-snip

http://mediamatters.org/blog/200909030020

Or does it depend on the color of his skin? I really think a lot of this is racism.

Peace :hi:

I know I should give up my man card. Good training flick. My wife and I have two different political views. We do not bring them into the house and esp not in the bedroom. Been married 33 years now.

Respect is a two way street. Give to each other at a bare minimum the courtesy and consideration you would give a co-worker or even a stranger. Say please and thank you.

Avoid hurting and/or insulting each other. I assume the two of you have come to some compromise where the discussion of politics is concerned. Discuss this with each other on a fairly regular basis in a constructive, non-confrontational way to make sure that everybody is reading from the same page so to speak.

COMMUNICATE. Communicate in a productive, adult fashion.

There's nothing wrong with a little preemptive marital therapy either. A therapist can act as a great communicative referee and be quite valuable for teaching couples how to resolve conflict in a constructive fashion that helps the marriage grow rather than tearing it down.

Good luck to you.