What's the big deal about sex?

Sex is sex. It's natural. Who cares who fucks who with what and when and where?

I'm tipsy and meant for that to go in there.

Said exceptions being the obvious ones: sex with minors and certain vulnerable people, such as intellectually challenged adults, who can be easily coerced, intimidated, and otherwise taken advantage of.

Rape, infidelity (breaking whatever promises were made to each other), abuse of someone who can't consent, harrassment... Sex isn't a moral issue, but there are moral issues around sex, is my opinion.

a house full of cats, and a social worker who comes by every week to make sure the stove is off and all the prescriptions are filled is a poor substitute for it.

and women talk about it over cocktails and politicians who are boinking Argentinian mistresses and overpriced hookers talk about it in campaigns and therapists write books about it and researchers study it endlessly. Because the only people who are interested in it are cat herders who aren't getting any..

:eyes:

Talking about sex is healthy and perfectly normal; however, obsessively conflating adult, consensual hetero sex with oppression--- seeing demonic penii lurking in every corner plotting to enslave the sacred Dworkin of womanhood--- no, no, no that aint Normal.

If everyone involved is a consenting adult, frankly, I'm of the opinion that other folks ought to mind their own bid'ness.

Is it possible that you may be exaggerating a little bit?

you laughed.

:eyes:

And you never answered my question, as per the other thread: If one wants to express genuine outrage about unacceptable behavior like actual rape, shouldn't one abstain from diminishing the definition of "rape" by deliberately conflating it with things like, say, consenting adult sex? Consenting adult porn? Or Consensual, adult group sex?

Because, let's be honest: certain threads in recent weeks have clearly been nothing more than an exercise in finger-wagging about consensual, adult behavior.

So :eyes:, yourself.

Others, myself included, were criticizing misogynistic memes inherent in things like gang-bangs and the "maybe is yes and no is maybe" attitude many guys have towards pressuring their partners to have sex, which was misconstrued by some posters into the BS claims of puritanism and dislike of everything but vanilla sex. :eyes:

There are people here, at least a couple, who clearly believe that "no means no" AND "yes means no", too.

The "gang-bang" case in question was consensual. And everyone involved was an adult.

By muddying the waters with "critiques" of "misogynistic memes" in gang-bangs, I posit that you weaken what should be a very clear, very concise stand about sex and sexuality. Consent, and Adults. If you're talking about non-consent, or non-adults, that's one side of a very bright line. But if you're talking about consenting adults, that's the other side.

Simultaneously trying to claim that any sex involving more than 2 people is inherently imbued with "misogynist memes" and implies an element of non-consent (irregardless of how the people involved see it) is trying to have it both ways, if you'll excuse the pun.

sheesh, now thats scary!

Now that would be a party trick.

:rofl:

You will understand when you're older.....

:evilgrin:

And then I showed her!

RIMSHOT

Which means you can use it to create a false sense of propriety: "Oh no, the president put his penis in the wrong place! That therefore effects me!" ALL arguments which follow the same pattern of irrationality are simply instruments of tyranny and control, and that is that! :)

:thumbsup:

I would prefer that they not have sex in public, just because no matter how beautiful the human form is, some people's human form aren't exactly what I wish to look at.

Then again, I go out to gay hippie gatherings were public displays are accepted, allowed, and sometimes even encouraged (one of my friends told me that when one very loud orgy was going on in the bathhouse, she and a few others popped about five gigantic bowls of popcorn and took it in there to them, then they retreated to the knoll -- where they could still hear everything -- and started "scoring" the orgy while eating the rest of the popcorn). I obviously don't get upset at seeing sex there, but it's hard for me to call those gatherings "public".

Its like the latest extortion case with Letterman. Do we want Letterman to be a puppet for shadowy forces so they don't reveal his liason? Hell no, I want Letterman to say what he wants. In order to avoid that we just need to accept he got a little office nooky, and be willing to let it slide. We should take this approach times 1000 for any public figures, where it matters so much more. Frankly its a lesson the freepers need to write down and learn more than us: They were bowing down and praying in a church before Ted Haggart, who's nuts where in the hands of a gay man he was fucking around with, who actually had the power to ruin him, and ultimately did. The truth, the bottom line here, is that there is power in forgiveness, there is power in realizing that we are all mere humans. Sometimes I think that's a lesson we could all do well to learn and remember. :(

Someone WILL get hurt - and that's the problem.

We don't even know if this happened when he was seeing this woman.

It could have happened 25 years ago when their relationship was open. That's just the point.

Plus, extortion is illegal, having an affair isn't.

"dynamics of power."

Google is your friend.

Then say so. The innuendo is pretty cowardly.

Another friend is fighting two kinds of cancer; and her insurance company; and the doctors' incompetent staff and a whole lotta other shit going on that I don't care to type.

So. Wanna explain what this is about that the OP didn't elucidate and YOU chose to ASSume?

Explain anyway.

I have NO idea what I missed today. I'm taking a break from real life.

Please, do explain.

that happen that are not in the abstract?!

Do Tell.

/snark

operation.

Letterman went on his show and admitted that he had sex with some of his female staffers (presumably when he was single).

I'm not "playing" any more.

I have to go...grieve.

Thanks for filling me in.

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Doesnt seem to take much to stimulate it!

One definition of puritanism is the fear and jealously that someone else is having a better time than you are.

you wouldn't have all of the hyper-moralizing Republicans with hookers, mistresses and page boys on the side!

OK, so. maybe the" fear and jealousy" are actually coming from you.

So you, much like the rest of us, assume that's what the "puritans" must be thinking too.

When, in fact, you think that you're missing out so you go out make sure you're having the "better" timem.

I'm not knockin' sex btw it FRIGGIN ROCKS! (when it's good ofcourse)

Couldn't agree with you more about sex except for the fear and jealousy. My sentiments run "God bless you" to anyone getting more and more variety than me.

it's used to control the proles.



:hi:

;)

;)

We put out an instructional video on Pornotube??? You should see it.

It couldn't hurt.....

:rofl:

consenting adults do sexually is no big deal. It is no ones business but their own. Only when a third party is involved, betrayed or hurt does it become another person's business and possibly a big deal. Still not my business or yours.

It is when children are involved, however, or when someone is forced/raped that we as a society need to recognize it is our business and a big and terrible deal.

Who cares who and when and where people talk about who fucks who with what and when and where?

And, hey, how they choose to wave their assorted appendages is their own business.

As should be the sex lives of consenting adults.

I love sex. In fact, sometimes I think I can't live without it. It's hard to tell. I can't really remember life without sex. I guess the only way to quantify MY "big deal" with it would be to add up the pro's and the con's.

Sex has brought me pleasure. Physical and mental.

It's also brought me pain. Physical and emotional.

How many times has sex "complicated" friendships or ruined them or even prevented them.

There's no question everywhere I go I can't get away from it.

Billboards. Magazines. Television. Movies. Books. The ubiquitous worldwide interweb.

I can't imagine life without it really.

No wonder I'm obsessed with it.

I mean come on. That Josh Hartnett movie,"Forty Days and Nights", That's how it is. Sex has become a drug for many people.

Ask yourself. Do YOU have enough will power and self-discipline to go the rest of your life without it? A year? A month? A week?

I don't. Not while I'm still 29 anyway.

Well, I can go a week but a month is pushing it.

If I'm stepping back and being honest it really seems that conservatives only want to focus on the "negatives" of sex and progressives only want to focus on the "positives".

Maybe I'm wrong? :dilemma:

In fact I think you are pretty dead on.

FWIW, one of the worst situations you can find yourself in is being in a devoted loving relationship with someone who is less passionate than you are. Or, contrarily, more than you are. It can really poison things, even when all else is perfect. It's no one's fault, it's just misfortune.

Welcome to DU btw. I really liked your comparison of Conservatives to Progressives in their attitudes towards sex. Spot on.

He had significant health problems including severe back injury. The pain involved in sex overrode the pleasure for him, and that's not what it should be.

We're not together anymore, but that wasn't the reason we split.

Most of the men I could have dated weren't worth the time or effort and certainly not worthy of a sexual relationship. I really don't want to have sex with an asshole.

If men want sex so badly, why don't they try being less misogynistic and more honest? (Not to say that women don't want it - we do, but, my dating experiences as an adult female showed me how many really lousy men there are out there).

P.S. FWIW, I'm an attractive women who receives quite a bit of male attention. I went without sex by choice.

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It is NOT perfectly fine if you don't want to allow others to live their own lives they way they want to as long as they are hurting no one else. That, my friend, is the definition of FREEDOM. I should be free to follow my own lifestyle and beliefs and you should be free to follow yours.

I guess it COULD be argued that if somehow it had been as "God" (I don't know which god you're referring to) intended it to be, the effects would be drastic.

If one man only married one woman and spent the rest of his life with her:

Single parents would be much harder to come by.
Venereal disease would probably be nonexistent.
Abortion-assuming it would still exist-rates would probably be much lower.

It's easy to see why many think that one man one woman is the ideal situation.

Fortunately or unfortunately that's not the world we live in.

And to make matters worse it's politicized. At least in the matter of marriage.

Why is the government even involved in HETERO marriages anyway???? Isn't it a religious thing?


I find myself directly in the middle on this issue.

I'm a gay man who regrets not really having a father figure growing up.

NO, that's not what made me gay BUT it definitely affected me.

As an adult I see that now.

Robert, I think you're heart is in the right place.

But I don't agree that legislating the matter is the answer.

if you are a student - is it ok to have sex with the prof for a better grade or worse yet if you don't you fail. There are laws to protect people from sexual harrassment

And why do you care if it's "ok"?

OK according to whom?

Would I do it? Eh, depends on what my boss or professor looked like. ;)

As far as I'm concerned that situation is between you, your boss and your conscience or your God.

And Letterman's philandering is none of my business.

it only matters if you aren't getting any. :evilgrin:

No shortage of deep thinkers here.

because they can't get enough, or are confused about sex. Those who try to tame what is natural are doomed to live in a hell of their own making.

Yes, there are a lot of Americans who are extremely uptight about sex, and it shows.

Messy...smelly...hot and sweaty...

yech.


Honestly, I'd rather read a book.


having said that, though, I really don't give a rat's ass who's having sex with whom, as long as all parties involved are consenting adults.

:rofl:

:evilgrin:

"I really don't give a rat's ass who's having sex with whom, as long as all parties involved are consenting adults."

Spot fucking on! :thumbsup:

Sex is sex, not a big deal. As long as you're honest about it. In other words, don't lie to your sexual partners about what you want from them, and there won't be a problem. It's the lies that cause the problems, not the sex itself.

Seriously, there are some instances where objections can be made and it shouldn't be considered nosy. 13 year olds should not be involved.

Marital infidelity - it would seem to affect the spouse cheated on in an unpleasant way and I can sympathize with them.

People do get hurt, and one can feel bad for them.

Unless her name is Miley Cyrus.

I kid!

And jailed for nepotism and inability. :rofl:

It seems to me that a lot of this importance (negative or positive) placed on sex is a by-product of our country's Puritan beginnings. America is still young in a historical context, and there are still very powerful strains of Puritanism in our country's collective mentality.

Are you kidding? Do you just like rhetorical questions? Do you really not know this?

Republicans control in large part the media agenda. When it's a Dem supporter, like Letterman, it's news with shame. When it's Bob Barker, it's news about others trying to hurt Bob. When it's about Larry Craig, it's about his court filings, whether they should work or not this time or the last attempt, then it's about it being old news.

It's about the side issues with Republicans, it's about the sex when it's a Democrat that might just hit the money train from which Republicans enjoy the rich scraps.

of your spouse and children whom you made a promise of monogamy to.

Defecating is defecating. It's natural. Who cares what and when and where?

n/t

And those who don't treat it that way make lousy lovers.

Yep!

:fistbump:

When I was stationed at Hess-Oldendorf AirStataion, my married supervisor was having an affair with with a young airman that I supervised. I was stuck in the middle. Lucky for me she was good at her job and I was able to give her good performance reports. I wonder what would have happened to me if she was a problem child.

under certain circumstances....

:shrug:

sex is sex, it's natural, so why are some people so obsessed about getting it wherever and whenever and with whoever they can? why do they care what other people think about their obsession?