I'll tell you why I dislike abstinence only sex education

The meme that we hear from the abstinence only sex ed crowd is that kids should wait until marriage to do it. And certainly any parent is going to be anxious about their high school or junior high school aged son or daughter having sex; such behavior should certainly not be encouraged, and young people need to be made to understand the consequences of their actions.

But here is what I find disturbing about abstinence only sex ed. They say that you should wait until marriage, that sex is more special and meaningful when you are in a marital relationship. That your virginity is something that should only be given to your spouse on your wedding night. That's a nice little fairly tale, and if you have the self-discipline to pull that off, good for you. But we as Americans are getting married later and later in life; some people don't get married until their are in their early to mid-30's. That may be because you have people who want to be financially secure before making such a commitment, and that takes a long time these days, or maybe they go through a series of bad relationships before finding the right person, or in some cases (and I have friends in this category) you have people who are shy and socially awkward and it can take them many, many years to either find someone, or develop the self confidence needed to dive into the dating game.

So are these people supposed to wait until they are 34 years old to have sex if that's how long it takes them to get married? That's the message that seems to be coming from the abstinence only crowd, and it's insulting. You're asking people to sacrifice their entire young adulthood to abstinence if they are not lucky enough to find their future spouse until they are in their mid-30's. And let's face it, a lot of finding a husband or wife is just pure luck, being in the right place at the right time.

Not only are the abstinence only people being unrealistic, but they are also demanding that a good portion of Americans remain sexually frustrated well into adulthood. That can't be healthy.

it's one thing when people were getting married at 19, but in some parts of the country, if a 19 year old was looking to get married, they'd be asked what they are smoking.

I'm 29 with no signs of getting married anytime soon.

"You're getting married at 16? Congratulations for waiting as long as your slutty secular peers."

TEEN PREGNANCY. Imagine. Kids wanna fuck. GOD MADE THEM THAT WAY.

Oh, we are also number one in the high school dropout rate. Praise the Lord and praise the leadership of red states.

They're lying to the kids actively and by omission. They're not giving the kids adequate knowledge to protect themselves if they can't manage to stay abstinent until it's the real thing. Kids have no way of knowing it's the real thing and often make plenty of mistakes before they find it, if they ever do. Those mistakes shouldn't give them incurable diseases. Those mistakes shouldn't kill them, saddle them with children they don't want and aren't prepared for, or force them into a heartbreaking decision about abortion while they're still just kids.

That's why I hate it. That's why I want it totally defunded. I want the materials shredded and replaced with factual, common sense, and full sex education.

:fistbump:

Abstinence should be taught as a form of birthcontrol as part of a Comprehensive Sex ed program.

Yes, you need to be mature enough to handle it, but this "great to wait" thing just makes NOT waiting seem "bad." The only basis for this idea is religion, and hasn't THAT been less than helpful for the last few millenia?

If we were able to face sexuality with a mature perspective, I think our kids would be far better positioned to deal with the issue as they grow up.

:evilgrin:

They want a return to the 1950s, after all. It seems most people married in their early 20s then.

I recall reading in Ireland the average age for marriage was really high due to financial problems getting established. It would be interesting to see if they waited or what happened with sex there and then. (Probably not so in modern times, but the early and mid 20th century).

Also it's probably easier to do without sex in an atmosphere where it is not talked of constantly, like in modern day American, and that's something the same wingnuts would want changed.

Even if you're married.

The more christian they are, the higher their ratings!

to do as they do and wait until marriage, let alone, get married. Abstinence education is at it's roots a Religious movement and a control movement as well as indoctrination of a certain way of thinking, including "anti-gay". Abstinence education,in my opinion, is discriminatory.

'Cause teenagers were built for effing, and that's what they should be doing...safely, of course.

EDIT: ...and each other, of course...lol.

more harm than good. If you want your children to live educate them in the use of condoms and talk about sex to them. Talk openly and realistically about it. Period.

Maybe abstinence before marriage is a better way to live, but even if the young people decide to wait, they would be better off if they are informed about reproductive choices even after they are married. And for those who decide that abstinence is not the way they want to live, they need the information on reproductive decisions.

I grew up with "sex ed" being only the most basic tidbits about sex - we girls were told how to use pads - tampons were "not appropriate" for virgins! I learned more about contraception from one issue of an underground women's rights newsletter that was illicitly distributed on the college campus than I had learned in my first eighteen years of life. Good thing I was not precocious about sexuality!

I believe we need to educate kids so they can make informed decisions - parents, churches and other mentors can advise them about the morality of their choices. Schools should not be teaching morality either way.

and their lies are dangerous and kill people.

Oh that, and abstinence only disinformation is a failure, a measured failure, as a sex education program.

(rimshot)

My husband was born in 1947 and remembers sexually active peers in junior high (7th grade). By high school, he recalls, most of the kids were. I also know that my father was active in high school with a string of girls in the school (my mother ratted him out on this). They would have been in high school in the late 40's. An older man I was involved with some years ago who was in high school in the 50's said that him and all of his friends were having sex with their girlfriends by the end of high school. He told me they all remained active til the girl got pregnant, then got married. I think the whole 'erosion of morals' is a little overblown. I think kids are starting a little younger now and it is more out in the open but I think the last time waiting til marriage was common was when people got married at 13.

You are supposed to live your life following the 1940's Norman Rockwell guide.

You should be captain of the football team and marry the head cheerleader the day after high school graduation.

Jesus wants you to make lots of babies so he has plenty to send to fight the infidels.

Now is that so hard? To wait until your wedding night, the day after graduation?

All you "my career", "my education", "my life" people are just spittin' in Jesus's face!

I stopped dating the HIV+ guy. Don't ask why and I won't say why.

I will say he wanted a full french kiss on the first date. I don't go that quickly, period.

Call me devolved. I am for waiting for the right person and keeping it special. If I am in a minority, that's fine. I can live without "gettin' busy". I don't need to bring in children I may not be able to take care of. I will not be guilty of spreading diseases (prophylactics are not always effective, especially if put on or removed in correctly and one small hole can render them non-effective too).

You talk about those promoting abstinence as if they are insulting others. I should tell you now, it works both ways. Insults are a common commodity in our society...

You may take all the risks you want. There's still a stigma about even cold sores. Maybe I have too much PRIDE to risk myself so readily. Have fun.





Edited: Minor clarification.

whether you want to wait to have sex until marriage or not. people use birth control when they're married too, you know.

your post is incredibly one-sided. or maybe you're simply too young to have sex anyway, in which case, yes, please do abstain. no one is telling others not to abstain. it's the stupid tunnel-vision religious right that can't stand it if others don't suffer because of their limited views, because of their hatred of females, because of their weirdness, honestly, about sex itself.

if you read about the religious right, it's amazing how many men who rail against homosexuals have been convicted for homosexual acts in public places, with unwilling partners... it seems that the thing they are so adamantly against is their own selves,

makes me wonder about those who are so holier-than-thou regarding abstinence.

yes, you shouldn't have sex with the HIV positive guy... and tell me, what the fuck does that have to do with how unreasonable and worthless abstinence only policies are as POLICY?

why don't you try a little more bullshit and loaded comments?

If you don't want to have sex with someone then don't.

but don't waste 50 MILLION in taxpayer dollars as a give way to the religious right to promote something that doesn't work.

and don't try to force anyone else to do as you do or pretend to yourself that everyone who has sex before marriage ends up pregnant or diseased. what a load of bullshit propaganda. use birth control. use a condom. don't be stupid.

people who object to abstinence funding don't object to your choice of abstinence. surely you know this. if not, you do not need to be having sex or dating, even, until you grow up some more.

"prophylactics" (condoms) "not effective" - that one pearl of disinformation from the abstinence lunatics has killed people, spread disease, and caused unwanted pregnancies. Thanks for sharing your mentally transmitted sexual disease.

if they are ten ............. they play Doctor
wen they are 16 .............. they experiment
wen they are 19 ............... they learned it
wen they are 22 ................ they make love
just learn them how to protect themselves

:spank:

Enforcing/ mandating ignorance is NEVER a good plan regardless of the subject/topic.