‘Alan Grayson’s Mother’ Advises Lindsey Graham

(Satire)
see related video at http://thedesperateblogger.com/?p=990

Dear Lindsey,

I was shocked when I saw how terribly so many people who you thought were friends are treating you because you decided to do a science project with that Kerry boy. Shame on them! I understand the Kerry boy doesn’t exactly ooze charisma, but he seems to have a lot more to offer on the ‘thinking side’ than those name-callers you usually hang out with…

But shame on you too, Lindsey, because you’ve done so many things to bring this on yourself. It’s only because you are willing to work with somebody outside your ‘clique’ that I see maybe there’s a glimmer of hope for you, otherwise I wouldn’t bother dulling a pencil over it.

To be part of a large group of friends is great thing, but when you act like your some exclusive club and start walking around like you’re the cat’s pajamas and everyone who disagrees with you is evil and going to Hell, guess what? This is what happens. Especially when you try to make friends with somebody your gang thinks they’re superior too.

But don’t let it get to you. I know nobody likes being called “wussypants”, “girly-man”, “half-a-sissy”, and “democrat in drag”, but that’s just sticks and stones. Besides, you must have gotten a lot of that when you were younger, what with a name like “Lindsey,” I mean. And let’s face it, anyone who thinks you look like a democrat in drag must only get dates with real uglies, don’t you think?

Everyone says you’re a smart boy Lindsey, so take the advice of someone who’s been around a while: think for yourself and do what’s right. Don’t just go along with people because they go to the same church or are on the same team as you. That’s the only way you’ll ever know who your real friends are, and you see now how fast the phony ones turn on you, so who needs them? Especially who needs the ones who make everything about religion? You know who I’m talking about – the ones who show up to see the President carrying guns because they don’t know the difference between an ‘amendment’ and a ‘commandment’.

So, Lindsey, keep the faith, just keep it separated from the work you’re doing. Think for yourself, and don’t just blindly say what you think your so-called “friends” want to hear, and you’ll be fine. Look what all those people were saying about my Alan, and I may be biased, but I think he’s a mensch.

Best of luck,

Alan’s Mother

P.S. It might also help to take a lesson from your Governor’s mistakes and remember to never let the “little head” do the thinking for the big one. Just keep it zipped-up where it belongs…

Thanks, TTIS!!

Thanks dear. Now keep warm and eat plenty of chicken soup...

That is exactly what I'm doing tonight! <<nursing a cold>>

No wonder she raised such a great son!

:pals: :rofl: