Millions of Americans Waste Entire Fucking Afternoon

Balloon Boy to America: Punk'd!

COLORADO (The Borowitz Report) - Moments after a little boy who was believed to be in his parents' homemade helium balloon was found safe and sound, millions of Americans came to the realization that they had flushed the entire fucking afternoon down the fucking toilet.

"I watched the entire drama unfold and then it turned out that no drama had unfolded," said Carol Foyler, 32, of Missoula, Montana. "I can't tell you how pissed I am at that fucking kid."

At their Colorado home, the parents of six-year-old Falcon Heene said that they were relieved that their son was all right and that they were pushing forward with their plans to build a giant child-operated flame-throwing robot. More here.

http://www.borowitzreport.com/

and I'm about to rejoin my SO for real life, dinner, and a quiet evening

YEAH, we just couldn't keep up huh??

maybe i will go to the library

because it is a nightmare scenerio.

in it? I realize they said he was in the attic in a box, but surely he heard the comotion outside! Stories that make you say Hmmmm.............

:rofl:

:shrug:

I'm glad to know that families like this actually exist.

They believe in UFOs. They build inflatable flying saucers in their back yard. They have psychic powers. They're backyard scientists. They were on the reality show Wife Swap. The kids are allowed to swear inside the house. The parents take the kids along on tornado hunts. Larry King is probably on the phone with them right now to get them on his show.

And lots of people are amateur scientists.

It's the bizarre combination that makes this fertile ground for tabloids.

Fox was the only cable station not covering the baloon boy wall to wall...

if they could somehow twist the saga of the Balloon Boy into an anti-liberal issue.

freaking afternoon for that kid!!..

freaking afternoon for that kid!!..

I mean, thank god it had a non-lethal ending, but the number of ironies and other issues that came up with this story were, imho, worth the investment.

Easily as good as the Moon threads. WAY better than the Polanski threads.

The balloon was really too small to lift anyone. I was nearly convinced, though...

Don't get me wrong. It wouldn't have been fun AT ALL if something bad had actually happened.

But, it didn't. So everything's okay... :)

Me too. I thought it was too small as well, but the sheriff's officer who announced that they had just found him in his house, moments before, was calling the operation a "recovery" effort.

Really a drastic swing of emotions, for me.

I was driving home from a road trip for work. I was thrilled to hear about this little drama and have it played out on FOX! during Hannity's idiot show! Best hour of my life! I called my husband (yes on the cell phone while driving), and said these idiots sound like that family on Wife Swap! I was having a ball! Especially when there was no kid! Hannity's like "it looked like angels had the balloon in their hands and placed it lovingly on the ground". I almost had to pull over....

i wouldn't......

talk about it.

At least my time wasn't wasted.

That family should move and change their names.

I'll ignore it. So what if it's true? Why waste my valuable time & worry my beautiful mind about some stupid rug rat?

dg

they didn't cut away..they had a little boy, too, at the end of it who "out of the mouth of babes"..

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