BREAKING: ANOTHER Balloon Boy Is Aloft in Runaway CRAFT!!!

YAP Oct 16, 2009 19:15 -- This time, we have verified the boy is indeed in the craft. The craft is the swollen drug-addled gas bag known as Rush Limbaugh. They boy is Rush Limbaugh's inner child, apparently in the midst of a mouth-foaming tantrum. Turns out he got so hot under the collar at being denied purchasing the St. Louis Rams that his head swelled up and the heated gas lifted him aloft into the atmosphere. A news helicopter is currently chasing the dirigible and they have verified the boy is indeed on board having a fist-pounding fit. They've noted that gas is slowly leaking out of the ship even though the ship shows no signs of slowing down or descent and aren't sure if this is due to the heat generated by the tantrum or some gas being released from his foaming mouth.

and can't come close to covering his fat ass.