ObamaCare to include psychological counseling for Republicans

Breaking news: At a White House press briefing, Secretary of Health and Human Services Kathleen Sebelius announced that a deal was being cut with congress to include a special program in the upcoming health care reform, commonly known as ObamaCare.

“In recognition of the traumatic stress syndrome that uniquely afflicts many Republicans, we are adding a program to provide psychological counseling for those Republicans who want it. We hope that the bipartisan nature of this gesture will help to ensure speedy passage of the legislation.”

Kathleen Sebelius went on to explain the thinking behind the new program. “We are aware of the serious mental problems being faced by many Republicans in the current situation. It’s not easy going from ‘This is my country, suck it up!’ to ‘You are an undesirable, and a rather hysterical one too’. We Democrats were in a similar position eight years ago, so we know what it’s like and we can feel their pain,”

Most leading Republicans decried the move. “The White House is trying to label Republicans as loonies, but there’s nothing wrong with us! Just look at those town hall protests in August, and the tea party demonstrations. Those were good loyal patriotic Republicans just displaying their core values. The constitution gives us the right to act as we please, and we intend to keep on yelling and screaming and running around with guns until we get what we want!” proclaimed Newt Gingrich.

“It’s the liberals who are crazy!” agreed Rush Limbaugh. “Next thing, they’ll be prescribing lobotomies for conservatives! Well, if anyone tells me I need a lobotomy, I’ll give him a piece of my mind!”

Asked if he was disappointed by the lack of gratitude on the part of Republican leaders, President Obama shrugged his shoulders and pointed to polling showing that many Republicans suffered from feelings of disorientation, alienation and inferiority.

“We’re just trying to help these poor souls, these unfortunate fellow Americans, so they can once again lead productive lives and make positive contributions to society. Of course, we are aware that there are many cases where the psychological condition is so serious that we have to face the fact that we’re talking about a lost cause.”

“But isn’t being a Republican a ‘pre-existing condition’?” asked one of the journalists.

“Ah, now that’s a very good point,” replied Obama. “That’s why it is so important that we get the ‘public option’ included in this legislation. We’ve talked to representatives for the health insurance industry, and they’re unanimous on this. There isn’t a single one of them who are willing to attempt to get Republicans to accept reality.”

http://seminal.firedoglake.com/diary/10009

Heh!

in his interview of a few days ago on the Today Show.

It sounds like he's already picturing himself receiving the shock treatment he so desperately needs.

It's nasty, horrible, torture disguised as a psychiatric treatment.

Sometimes I think this place gets way, way, WAY too sensitive about things. I appreciate and agree with your position about the nastiness of electrical shock therapy, though.

The personality disorders that afflict most 'pugs don't respond well to either medication or the 'talking cure.' Their best shot at a cure may lie in multiple electroshock treatments or lobotomy.

Just overdose them with thorazine.

They are narcissists hellbent on giving everyone else around themselves PSTD!!

PSTD is no joke, it is a terrible psychiatric injury. It often is caused by being bullied in real life.

Republicans do not have enough sensitivity, shame or empathy for others to ever have the damage of PSTD beaten into them.

Narcissists are like republicans are like bullies..All are self absorbed,and don't care about anyone else,especially those who would tell them to share,listen,be sensitive, be considerate to someone of low social status(poor) or different from the 'norm'.The love to be the center of attention.So of course a manipulating bully narcissist shit heads wanting to be pitied and excused for their ass-holiness will claim PSTD just to claim they are victims,and they'll gleefully "shoot the messenger"when someone figures out it really IS because of the the narcissistic,authoritarian,psychopaths in this world, that cause alot of the problems and says so without worrying about the narcissists egos. Seems often,the same old faces in the republican party are bullies and really ARE the problem with why the rest of the non narcissist side of humanity suffers so much, feeling things are sometimes so painful to even bear being near these toxic people.

I for one say without shame narcissists, authoritarians and psychopaths suck,and the republican party is full of them.
And I know they hate me,because I know what they are and the damage they do,I have PSTD.And I know the kind of swine like personality that have injured me too.I point my claw at them and say,fuck you!! I will not be nice to psychopaths or try to treason with them,nor will I tolerate their cruelty.

n/t

from a mental illness or psychiatric injury.They can't be helped.
Only stopped.Contained.Controlled.Restricted.By Laws backed up by force.

Luckily most people are not toxic in the personality department.


In my fantasies I have alot of anger because of the shit I have been through,So in my mind,I seek out the narcissists,authoritarians and psychopaths that bully people and injure them because they think they are superior or entitled to be an asshole to break someone else down.

I bully the bully,hunt the assholes down and wipe them off the Earth. Therapy for them is a boot to the head. I know it sounds horrible. But truth is standing up to a bully and having other non-bullies stand by you in a unified intolerance of the intolerable is the only way to stop them.

Good one. I need THAT on a T shirt!!