Dropped right-wing "friends" and it felt good. For over 5 years, we have been tolerating

the continuous bashing of Democrats and cheering for republicans by this couple. We have tried to avoid politics but this "Fox vs White House" thing put me over the edge. When asked out to dinner at one our favorite places with them, I said no thanks, I just can't take your constant talk of politics anymore. Another guy I knew for 25 years kept sending right-wing email crap and I told him to drop me from his email list. They are not worth the overhead.

It's a lot of work when you have to do a lot of sidestepping and redirecting.

along too long.

If you are avoiding confrontation over a known disagreement, and they insist on pushing the issue even when you've expressed that you'd rather not, they simply don't respect you as a person enough to be their friend.

It doesn't help that the whole Rush Limbaugh/Hannity/Fox right wing culture has promoted the idea that it's appropriate to be a braying jackass and talk over people and shout out your argument.

otoh, the people in this story sound like assmunches. assmunches are assmunches, regardless of ideology.

i would never dump any friend, let alone family member based on their political beliefs.

in this above case, it appears their BEHAVIOR merited the dumpage.

but because of the inability to respectfully agree to disagree and to avoid said topics.

to lighter topics or non-politcal subjects never worked.

It was on the one hand, amazing to watch. On the other hand, it was an amazing affront and their brazenness increased 10 fold when Bush was elected.

...then they really weren't friends to begin with. You did the right thing.

it's no longer about politics. Someone who constantly says things that they KNOW will upset or anger you, or who indirectly insults you (by, say, putting down Democrats in general when they know you're a Democrat) is just being abusive and using "politics" as a cover for it.

friends are more important than politics to me.

change the topic.

We tend to stick together and be there for each other no matter what.

And we argue politics regularly, we just don't get mad.

"Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience." ~ Anon.

- K&R

good for you

but this worries me on a sociological ground. Shows how decided the country is becoming and this is not healthy.

Political polarization will do no country any good. What's making it worse is politicians who constantly egg on the divide and try to make it worse for short-term gain.

You and I have read a history book or two... our politicians are either doing this on purpose... with full knowledge... or just damn ignorant. Either way...

They are driving this... and I fear this ain't gonna end good.

The only difference between that nut job who shot Dr. Tiller and that nut job who shot up that Unitarian Church in Tennessee last year and the extremists in Northern Ireland is that the guys over here didn't use car bombs to blow up entire churches and buildings.

sadly...

After all modern civil wars are fought that way.

Either they think that what they are doing "can never really lead to a hot war" or they think that they can somehow avoid the catastrophe they are creating. Kind of like the generals during the Cold War who believed that people could survive a nuclear war and that it was acceptable to have one as long as more of the enemy died.

I worried about it because you could have friends before with conservatives, discuss your differences over coffee, and still be on good terms with them. But I found over the last decade starting with the hunting of Bill Clinton over his affair with Monica that those people became more intolerant and some downright nasty. I blame a lot of it on Rush Limbaugh. People I could pal around with previously became accusatory and insulting after they started listening to that fatass. So my husband and I did drop many friends. Today when I make new friends I really make sure they aren't Republicans or Christian fundies. I can't tolerate them and their verbal abuse any more. I think it's bad for this country that we are divided like that, but until someone shuts up those mouths like Rush/Sean/Glenn/Billo that fan the flames of bigotry and divisiveness and those pastors in those mega-churches are made to stick to heaven and not earth, or they will lose their tax free status, I can't waste my time with idiots.

If you have more knowledge you can always shoot them down. For some people the best thing is to avoid them. I do not associate with people that make me angry. Count the number of friends you have. You will find that you can afford to lose one or two.

...I think it's worse now that we have President Obama and control congress. My right wing acquaintences were very smug when they were in charge. But now that they are in the minority they are angry and frustrated that they aren't in charge of the world anymore. Their FOX dictated spewing is becoming ever more nasty and agressive....I've just finally walked away.

We've know them since college, over 30 years ago. They were fairly apolitical back then and became more right wing during the Clinton years. :eyes:

We just agree not to discuss politics when we get together. It's too bad that your friends refused to do that.

rw are like cornered rabid rats..and dish it out only as the brainwashed can.

:shrug:

People HATE to be called out on forwarding something that's not true. I hate being sent urban myths, even by progressive friends. The first time they pass me an urban myth, I privately send a link to Snopes. The second time, I "reply to all", and they inevitably drop me from the list. Which is fine by me.

"You know, you're just not cute enough to be that dumb. Good-bye."

I have a friend who I never discussed politics with so I didn't know she was right wing. Since the campaign she been spewing RW rhetoric at me (this from a woman who would not have received treatment for her cancer but for NY state's public insurance!). She knows I voted for Obama and she knows I'm left. The other day she posted a link on facebook about some upcoming Glenn Beck expose about an Obama "internet takeover" and demanded that we "Morons" who voted for him apologize. Every day its a new Fox driven outrage. For now I've just hidden her posts while I decide how to handle it. I will probably just quietly un-friend her. Fortunately she lives across the country from me.

was so liberating for me.:hi:

be removed from your feed and/or defriended, end of story.

During the election, yes, I posted positive stuff about Obama, and never minded when friends posted positive stuff about McCain.

But that's it - I never post political stuff there - too alienating. And I have a two strikes and you're out policy . One rightwing talking point is okay, but after the second, I hide you.

about hiding her posts. I don't know that I'm ready to end a 15 year friendship.

Do you consider it the same thing?

This is a serious question.

necessarily in general the same as ending a friendship. It depends on a lot of variables. It mostly depends on why you defriend them and how the defriended person reacts. And how close of a friendship you have/had. And lots of other variables. This friend and I have been reasonably close. At this point, I don't know how this person will react. I had never really thought about her politics before this election - we didn't talk politics in part because that wasn't the kind of relationship we had and because back then I was afraid to admit that I was a liberal (it was the 90's and I had been attacked and was afraid of being attacked again for my politics). I'm also very surprised when seemingly rational, intelligent, and socially liberal people turn out to be conservatives. And this friend appears to have gone off the deep end ... I mean - Glenn Beck? So I have no idea how she'll react if the topic comes up and I really don't want to deal with it. So I'm playing ostrich. A long winded answer to your question

My crazy for Jesus holy roller brother never brings up politics in my presence anymore. Nor does my faux news addict Father in Law. They matter to me enough to manage to keep them moored to me. I'm talking family, kinda different from the friends category. I have no right wing friends, admirers maybe, but we won't talk about that...

This is not true for a lot of rightwingers, including family members.

the worse their listening and comprehension skills work among the rest of the reality world.

Your "friends" have clearly gone over the edge if they can't agree to avoid contentious political topics. I had to write off an old high school friend I haven't seen in years who claims she's a registered Democrat, but voted for McCain and just adores Glen Beck. Go figure. She's brainwashed.

Most of the RW assholes I know (and am related to) USED TO be polite and respectful, even if they didn't agree. That may be more from listening to RW radio, where they hosts are always incredibly rude to callers who disagree with them. They hear that so much that they think it's normal behavior.

My RW Dad and I used to have long, deep discussions of issues and it was fun. No more. Not only has he lost his listening and comprehension skills as you say, he makes stuff up (lies, in other words) to make his "points" and he'll often make some kind of personal dig.

years as a democrat. Obama's election just brought the crap out of her bigtime. I finally drew the line when she called me spewing crap about the Nobel.

but I did lose a formerly close one during the 2004 election.

I responded (rather benignly, I thought) to a disparaging comment he made about Kerry and Howard Stern. I'm not a fan of Stern, but I said I'd take Stern and Kerry over Limbaugh and Bush any day.

My former friend flipped out and after a heated (and increasingly bizarre) email exchange, we severed our ties to each other.

The thing is, I was trying to dialogue with him, but he wasn't interested in that. We were good friends at one time, but he's the one who wanted to shut it down because I didn't pass his political/religious purity test. So be it.

I've become isolated from two of my best friends because of politics.

During the reign of BushCo they couldn't get enough of rubbing things in to me. Believe me - I don't do the same to them now that we have President Obama mainly because I know how they upset me. I wouldn't do the same to them.

But their e-mails just continued to come after President Obama took office. Only now they are more biting and nasty. I kept on getting their RW wacko e-mails and kept returning them with debunking links from Snopes.

I've seen their true colors - and have found out that they harbor racist feelings and - because they are both well to do - they think everything revolves around them and only care about themselves. They are not givers - they are takers.

It seems that they don't like getting responses back that prove them wrong. Things have gotten so contentious that we don't communicate at all anymore. They have stopped altogether sending me any e-mails of any type now.

I've also noticed that I am avoiding other people that dislike President Obama and the Dems. I try hard not to let them get to me - but it just eats at me. Just the other day one of my clients sent me an e-mail with pictures of President Obama accepting all sorts of phoney/inane awards because he was upset that Obama won the Nobel Peace Prize.

The health care reform debate seems to have been the straw that has broke the camels back. They can afford health insurance and think everybody should be on their own.

I thought this was just happening to me. I thought I was at fault. I was beginning to think that I was being too petty.

But reading this post and replies here - I don't feel so bad anymore. It appears that this is happening to friendships all over.

This is not healthy though. Communication between people is questionable at best already - and this sort of thing is further impeding communication. We should be talking things through and understanding where each of us is coming from - but - it just isn't happening and it doesn't look like its going to happen.

Seems to me that this phenomenon needs to be looked at and studied in greater detail. I'm now wondering what they are thinking and if they feel as bad as I do that we have lost contact or are they just glad that we don't talk or communicate anymore.

I'm wondering what sort of interventions need to happen to get - once good friends - back to talking with each other.

But it almost seems that this is what the powers at be want to have happen. Divide and conquer. That's why the cable news shows have grown so contentious. That's why Fox puts out lies and sucks people in. I've lost all respect for people that watch Fox and listen to the likes of Rush, Hannity, Beck .....

I've gone so far as purchasing Michael Moore DVD's for these people - but they won't even watch them for themselves to decide for themselves. They just believe the RW talking points and won't give them a chance.

This isn't healthy. The chasm between sides is growing further and further apart.

My accountant actually thinks that this will result in some sort of 'civil war' between sides. I've kind of lost respect for him and this thinking as well.

In one respect - I feel better about myself that it's just not me. In another respect - I'm saddened, worried and frightened as to where this all will lead.

Any thoughts on this would be appreciated. We should talk this out.

They are promoting the ridiculous idea that Obama is literally the worst person in the world, he's Hitler and Stalin and Osama Bin Laden rolled into one, and will literally represent the end of America if not the world.

When you go from a premise like that, it's justified to be a shouting lout to oppose the WORLD'S GREATEST EVIL, so that's why it's so uncivil now.

I'm glad Axelrod and Obama are addressing Fox News because it's the single biggest factor in all this. In fact as far as I'm concerned, Fox News IS the Republican Party at this point, they set the tone AND the agenda, such as it is.

Just TOOO Many Reaganites and they're ALL dog-ass stupid kids who don't know shit about shit.

Plain and simple, I just cannot take people who defend FAILURE. And that's pretty much what they're trying to pull off - pseudo-intellectual justifications of failure. It's embarassing and pathetic because they don't see Republicans as failures. They don't SEE the boarded up homes and businesses, the weeded parking lots to closed plants, the wage stagnation, the skyrocketing cost of living and college tuition and the abandoned cities.

They see these incompetents as heroes for blowing up real people for the purpose of defeating phantom enemies. They see these morons as strong for stepping over everyone to gain a 400:1 advantage in wealth inequality. They blame themselves for their station in life not realizing that the very corporatism they support is fully designed to KEEP people like them in their place.

Another thing that I'm so goddamned bored of hearing from them is the CONSTANT Red-Baiting. My GOD, will they just NOT let this stupid canard drop in the fryer already? I almost feel sorry for them that they have to cling to "Evil Empire" rhetoric. I wonder what it must be like to be addicted to Kool-Aid channels like Faux News, ABC and CNBC.

This year a woman I'd known for seven years became increasingly disrespectful of my liberal politics once she learned I was one. I never brought up politics, ever. Always sidestepping when she or her husband did. She went nuts after Obama was elected, and kept sending me trash-n-bash emails. I'd always avoided politics (to keep the friendship away from a land mine). Finally, I'd had enough and politely asked her to stop sending political emails and remove me from her group list.

She FREAKED OUT and sent me the first verbally abusive email. I was shocked, hurt and angry, but calmly didn't take the bait. Told her I will draw boundaries with anyone I see fit, and congrats on destroying yet another friendship. Also said I won't be contacting her again, and not to contact me. In other words, I put credit where credit was due...on her shoulders, not mine.

The very NEXT day she sent me a tirade of abusive filth that was breathtaking. In her whacked out mind, I was some pot smoking, lying, using, "hand out" liberal. Truly pathetic stuff. I ignored her. Again.

Two weeks later, she went to my blog. I'd posted a general, no name post about the experience calling it what it was: a weak minded, cowardly, abusive act that had nothing to do with me and I discussed how politics rips relationships apart. Under an alias she spewed yet ANOTHER tirade of abusive filth, this time attacking my husband and family. Only this time, it wasn't posted because all replies I moderate. i.e., MY blog. Still, I ignored her. Turns out she kept haunting my blog (it logs IP's of visitors). That was a bit too stalkish for me, so I shut down the blog.

All of this coming from a woman who walked away from a nursing career 18 years ago, sits on her ass all day (because she self admittedly doesn't want to work), watches Fox news, and her husband is an income tax evader.

During that same time, she did a similar thing to a person she knew longer than me, for the same reasons.

I don't hate people, but this person I do. Can't help it, because I've never been treated like that in my life by a person I thought was a friend.

I don't think she'll ever take responsibility or feel remorse. Too much right wing arrogance and smug self-righteousness.

Just got tired of feeling attacked all the time.

Well done.

:thumbsup: :thumbsup:

because, despite politics, all my friends are good people. I have asked a few friends not to include me on forwarded emails, though.

A close friend's father is a far-right Fox "News" type, but he lives out of town so I never see him. Other than that, my friends are either apolitical or lean left. Of course, I'm a musician, so that might influence who is in my "inner circle".

If they can't do that, then they're history with me.

from friends.

i've had the great fortune of having many very progressive and liberal friends, so i haven't had to deal with that shit on a friend level too much.