The lifeboat between Holland and Beirut

I just finished watching a documentary about autism, and they included the essay about Holland.. while searching it out, I found the essay about Beirut

having been in the lifeboat, lost in Beirut and sometimes in Holland myself, these essays struck a chord with me..perhaps you'll enjoy them as well.

Our son's situation was physical, and somewhat corrected, but the feelings are probably the same.. we have expectations and many times we spend a lifetime vacillating from hope, to fear, to despair, to hope, to worry, to happiness, to sorrow and back again.

Please take the time to click & read the whole essays.. they are well worth the read

Welcome to Holland

Welcome to Holland
Emily Pearl Kingsley

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this ...

When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip – to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting. After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."

"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy." But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay. The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place. So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

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Welcome to Beirut

Welcome to Beirut

This article was written by Susan F. Rzucidlo as a response to the popular essay on discovering your child has special needs, "Welcome to Holland."

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with autism -- to try and help people who have not shared in that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this ...

There you are, happy in your life, one or two little ones at your feet. Life is complete and good. One of the children is a little different than the other, but of course, he's like your in-laws, and you did marry into the family. It can't be all that bad. One day someone comes up from behind you and throws a black bag over your head. They start kicking you in the stomach and trying to tear your heart out. You are terrified; kicking and screaming, you struggle to get away but there are too many of them, they overpower you and stuff you into a trunk of a car. Bruised and dazed, you don't know where you are. What's going to happen to you? Will you live through this? This is the day you get the diagnosis. "YOUR CHILD HAS AUTISM."

There you are in Beirut, dropped in the middle of a war. You don't know the language and you don't know what is going on. Bombs are dropping. "Lifelong diagnosis." "Neurologically impaired." Bullets whiz by. "Refrigerator mother." "A good smack is all he needs to straighten up." Your adrenaline races as the clock ticks away your child's chances for "recovery." You sure as heck didn't sign up for this and want out NOW! God has overestimated your abilities.

Unfortunately, there is no one to send your resignation to. You've done everything right in your life ... well you tried ... well, you weren't caught too often. Hey! You'd never even heard of autism before. You look around and everything looks the same, but different. Your family is the same, your child is the same, but now he has a label and you have a case worker assigned to your family. She'll call you soon.


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