My family has disowned me for not being classist, racist, republican

I sent them all the link to my last post concerning my medical situation.
Here:
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x7014616#7036102

My sister and her ex have both blocked my emails or changed their addys without telling me.

My brother pretended that he couldn't get the link to open. When I copy/pasted it out for him, I got no reply.

Now DU truly is my only family.

It'll be ok. You'll be loved by compassionate people here. :hug:

Some of us are lucky and members of the 2 families overlap. For others, it is good to have the freedom to build the family you want and need. Be the friend you want and good people will notice and want to be part of that family you build in life.

:grouphug:

better off without them, sad to say...but it's not that uncommon.

I suggest you find some things you really enjoy doing for the holidays and do them - please yourself and enjoy.

All the best.

mark

I'm living on a 23 acre farm withsome old hippy friends,

The holidays will be just fine.

Chosen family is often superior to the one we get birthed into.

I know too well the experience of having family turn their backs when you are at your lowest. Ironically that was when I thought they would be the ones I could rely on. It was a hard, painful lesson.

That was long ago and today I show them the compassion they withheld from me, but I don't let myself get too close.

I glad you can find some comfort here and hope you find the help you need.

Maybe Grovelbot needs a relative.

One who wishes Wiley50 "Happy Birthday" and stuff like that.

:hug:

Welcome to your new family.

My best friend from high school (I am 46) sent me an email about 6 months ago. We went our different ways after college and didn't keep in touch until a few years ago.
We usually only correspond via email, he lives in Pittsburgh and I live in New York.

He confided with me he just tested for Hep C. He has been faithfully married for 15 years with two children. He has no idea how he got it. His doctor thinks "maybe" he got it from snorting cocaine back in his younger days, the act of sharing straws with multiple users has been shown to transmit Hep C. And that the Hep C has been dormant in his system for over 20 years.

Fast forward, my friend is now on a major suppression treatment with his doctors. Now he told me his sisters and family have started to be "non-supportive" of his condition. Like somehow he deserved this. I have had numerous conversations with my friend, and he thinks this is the only way his family can cope with the news. They don't intend to be mean. They don't know how to react in a supportive method, so they go in the opposite direction and shun him. Fortunately, my friend is strong and can stand above this. This is his life and he has his family that needs HIS leadership to get through this. And he has friends like me when he needs to talk about it.

Sometimes a friend is all it takes to get through a rough period and make the situation more bearable.

Wiley, send me a PM if you ever want to talk about your situation. Keep positive.

That bastard Joe McCarthy divided my family for years.

A DU :hug:

those Republican family values.

not due to politics or anything like that but ever since My FIL died in January, we haven't seen or talked to them..They never called my MIL to see if she was all right or needed anything(she doesn't drive). Hell, I found about his aunt dying on Facebook. The only times my MIL ever heard from them was when she sold her house and moved to Kentucky(she's from there)and they wanted to buy stuff she wasn't taking with her.

my junior year of college as an undergraduate.

It's always good for me to NOT talk politics ... EVER with them.

When I visit, it's also wise for me to stay no longer than four days lest the right winger philosophy (and saturation of FOX news) begins to make me bonkers.

It's very hard - but as I have become older, I'm more tolerant of my right wing family. But no, I have not changed ... just the way I react to their delusions. :shrug:

I, and many here on DU, have been snubbed, shut down, ignored, disowned and otherwise tossed into the rubbish heap by certain friends and family, simply on the basis of our political views. It hurts BACLY, I know, and it's about as far from fair play as one can get.

The upside is that you've thrown in with a bunch of mutts who actually care about others, especially others down on their luck.

It's a tough time, and even a tough time of year, but you hang in there. We're here on DU whenever you need a dose of sanity!

Cheers -- :toast:

I have a large, extended family, through blood and marriage. It's a weird mixed bunch.
My dad's side: Dad's a Libertarian and I can deal with that. He and I have nice political debates. My uncle is a very wealthy, successful, gay Democrat. He and I of course are politically similar, though I'm to the left of him.
My mom's side: very conservative. Tinged with a bit of old Italian racism. My mom's comment about Obama: "I can't vote for him because he's Muslim." Ugh. Luckily, she raised three liberal daughters. Her girlfriend is a Democrat, so she and I team up on my mom and try to educate her. It rarely works.

My husband: when we started dating, he always voted third party, because he was moderate. He grew up in a family of military folks (Dad, uncles and brothers served in various branches). His family is *extremely* conservative. His mom yelled at us in a grocery store for making fun of B*sh once. She said to me that I'll regret being a socialist when I'm successful and have to share my money with lazy people. I told her that I donate a lot of my pittance of a grad student salary to charities now, so I couldn't imagine changing that when I have more money. My brother-in-law's wife and I fight constantly via facebook about politics-it's gotten so bad that I canceled our Christmas trip to visit them and put her on limited profile; she got pissed that my liberal friends would rail on her for her asinine comments on my page. She told me I was an embarrassment to the family and that I offended people with my beliefs. Just yesterday I told my husband that she's the kind of person that would blindly vote for anyone Beck told her to (and it's totally true).

So, point is: my husband is a good liberal now, but I can't pick his family, just as I can't pick the political persuasions of my mom's side of the family. I'm spending my holidays with my Oklahoma family: my professors and friends with whom I have fun, share experiences and love, even though I don't *have* to.:toast:
Happy thanksgiving!

the Thanksgiving table and the "family" is praising Limpballs and Palin and talking about poor people needing to buck up and buy themselves medical care or do without. You might get through the appetizer and start on the bird, but long before the pumpkin pie you'd be across the table with your hands around someone's throat.

they came around eventually. now they know not to fuck with me.

my wife is dealing with the same problem right now, centered mostly around us being atheist.

don't sweat it. they'll either come around, or they won't. in which case at least you know how they really feel about you. if they're willing to consider you an "expendable" family member because you're not a racist piece of shit repig, then you're WAY better off without them.

you're always home here.
:fistbump:

me too.

I don't know your family, but I'm willing to bet some of them at least will come around.

In the meantime, sit and stay a spell, fellow Tennesseean (I'm in Knoxville). :)

aka "We hate everyone who doesn't agree with us" and family who don't agree with us might contaminate us with their minds.

:hug:

Build your own. Don't let anyone push guilt onto you about it.

but you can choose how to define your family.

:thumbsup:

My father, a man who I admired and thought was the most intelligent man in the world, has proven himself to be nothing more than a racist, RW, fundie piece of garbage in his late years. I can no longer even have conversations with him. He thinks Sara Failin is the best thing since oxygen. He sucks Rush Limbaughs ass at every opportunity. His rants are like that of a 5 y.o child. My sister is no better. They both seethe with hatred for Barack Obama. My sister has de-friended me on Facebook, and I really don't care any more. They ridicule me for working at a State College, and refer to me as an elitist. Thank God my mother is a liberal, and her and I still have meaningful conversations about politics.

I wish you luck, but it's a hard thing to get around. I know my father isn't going to be around much longer, and any day now he may regret never getting to know his only son.

...and if you don't have a place at Thanksgiving Dinner with your family, there is always the home of a DUer.

We are family....:hug:

of your situation. Is pot the issue?

But it's good to hear the other thing is better.
:thumbsup::smoke:

They're a bunch of assholes.

Congrats by the way...sounds like you have an actual life of your own. You would be surprised how many people just can't cut that damn umbilical cord and actually be independent.

:thumbsup:

I hope the rest of your treatment goes well. I'm sorry your family is not being supportive during your illness. Like someone else on here said you can't chose your family but you can chose your friends and you have lots of people here on this board who will support your decisions to use medical marijuana while you are sick(of course you will also find some here who don't support med marijuana but you can just ignore them). I know people in my family and in my husband's family who no matter what will never support med marijuana it doesn't matter who it helps. They just have this hard fast prejudice against it and there is nothing that will ever change their mind. Those people you just have to ignore especially while you're sick. You don't need that negativity in your life. Just focus on doing what you need to do to get well.

over a year. Hubby and I are both non-believers and family are typical fundies. They claim to be dems but I don't believe them for a minute. They blame me for hubby "losing his way". When we where first married he was a very prejudiced and bigoted person. But thanks to mine and my daughters intervention, he has seen the light.
Enjoy you chosen friends, THEY are your real family.:hug:

I sympathize w/you, though ... whenever I hear tell of someone being completely rejected/shunned by their family over anything other than, say, a hideous crime, it always baffles me as to how clueless and heartless people can be.

I am going to suffer through Thanksgiving with my neo-con evangelical family members, so that I will be free to live my own life at Xmastime. Since they live under poverty consciousness, they do not expect me to buy two airline tickets in one year.

I'm not going to lay it out here, but I will PM you. You are a friend of mine and you have been for five years now. But, given the shape you're in, I imagine you're making it hard for your family to deal with you. You are certainly making it hard for your real-world friends.

Again, I will PM you now. There's no reason to air what I have to say to you in public.

Love you man. Get your shit together.