I'm mad as hell. Stupid redneck sonofabitch upset me.

Okay, a little backstory here. My wife and I are in the process of adopting a cute little Filipina girl and I have not been bashful about it, because like most overbearing parents, I think mine is the absolute cutest and most precious out there. So anyway, earlier today I went across the street to visit my neighbor in his heated garage. We hang out there and admire his car, watch football, and drink beer. You know, "guy stuff". Quite often, there are a lot of guys from the 'hood in his garage. Today, we had another guy wander over and ask if he could join us. Derek, the owner, said "Sure, c'mon in". We all sat around and remarked how good the Packers are (well I did), drank beer, and admired Derek's 1968 Mustang fastback. Then the new guy, whose name is Tony, asked me, "Aren't you the guy who's adopting a kid?" I beamed (I guess, I usually do) and answered "Yeah. Want to see a picture of her?" He answered "Sure". So I whipped out a picture of Tiffany and showed it to him. His response? "Oh man, she's a gook. First the Mexicans (next door), now this."
This dude is lucky to be alive because I went off on him. The only reason I didn't get physical is because Derek and another guy held me back. And they told him he better leave and never come back. Ever. And I will live here, and I suppose he will too. But I will never let him anywhere near Tiffany Joy and I will never let him near my house. If he sets foot on my property, I will exercise my right as a homeowner to destroy him.
Thank you for allowing me to vent. There is a lot going on in my life right now and DU can be a great place to let loose sometimes. I apologize for any offensive language, but I am telling the story as it happened. And I'm still mad as hell.

He deserved an ass-kicking. I don't blame you for going off on him.

Your job as Papa Bear will be to keep them as far away from your precious little angel as long as possible, and bring hell down on them if they even look in her direction. I'm very happy for you in your adoption!

What an icky man, and what a terrible thing for him to say.

He has closed himself off from a lot of very good people...

Too bad.

You did good.

Hey, rant all you want!

We've got your back...and Tiffany Joy's too.

:hug:

with parenting, these experiences she will have will be a positive learning experience in others ignorance, and her ability to still feel love and handle them respectfully disagree. open her world.

my children have been raised in a world, environment that is not in harmony to our thinking and they have had to deal with a lot of negative reaction from others. it truly has made them stronger and better people. i would not trade their experiences for anything. even though it pained me to watch them go thru the experience, i was there for them always, champion on their side, allowing them to do.

I hope she soon melts his cold heart and stupid thoughts. Might just happen....

What a disgusting thing for someone to say about a child.

That baby sounds like she will be loved by you for sure though. :hug:

How could he possibly think that was okay to SAY let alone think?

A guy proudly shows a photo of a little child he is adopting, and some douche has the nerve to toss out a racial slur -- what can he have been thinking? How could he assume he *wouldn't* get his ass kicked? It's bad enough that he thinks that way; but to say such a thing -- to insult his neighbor as well as the little girl so crudely -- is mind-boggling.

It does sound like the OP made it abundantly clear that this stupid, racist bastard had better not come anywhere near him or his kid. *I* want to kick that guy's ass.

Thanks for agreeing. Spare me the "douche" SEXIST BIGOTRY, in a reply about RACIST bigotry. :wtf:

Sorry, but I have no idea what you're talking about. BTW, I'm female, fairly old, been involved in feminist politics since the '60s, and I've never known that particular insult and its variants, which have also been around since at least then, to be considered sexist.

So you have me at a bit of a loss...

He just left off the bag part. In French, it just means "shower."

"Slang uses

Douchebag, or simply douche, is considered to be a pejorative term in North America and other English speaking countries. In some English speaking countries the term is not well known. The slang usage of the term dates back to the 1960s.<6> The term refers to a person with a variety of negative qualities, specifically arrogance and engaging in obnoxious and/or irritating actions without malicious intent."

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Douche

Not everything is a sexist remark.

like the perfect insult to reclaim in my opinion. (BTW I am pretty militantly against b*tch, p*ssy, and even "throws like a girl", if that gives any indication of my stance on sexist terminology.)

It's a term related to an outdated view of women's bodies (particularly their vaginas) as nasty and forbidden. Particularly when the term is used toward a man (which it usually is) it defines the man in terms of feminine language that is perceived as degrading, in the same way sissy or cocksucker would be.

No matter how many "honest people" claim the definition isn't what it is. Well put, btw.

I would like see us all realize that bigotry is bigotry and be consistently NON bigoted -- not pick and choose when it's "no big deal" and when it is.

I understand how watered down (pun intended) the use of douche is, but it still means what it means and is offensive for the reasons you gave.

Read it in a book recently.

a useless, unnecessary thing.

The school was big city, over 90% African American. I was raised not to use the word, and in fact never even uttered it until I was around 19, and even then it was just in the context of discussing the use of the word in media.

I guess it depends on point of view, and experience. As an example, I grew up thinking the word "jew" was a verb that meant to bargain down to the lowest price. I never even connected it to Jewish people until I was in college and used the word, and a Jewish classmate told me how kids threw pennies at her when she was growing up, because of the stereotype about Jews and money. I really appreciated her kindly and calmly pointing out how I had been unknowlingly offensive up until that point. It was a lesson well learned.

:eyes:

I don't blame you one bit for going off on this idiot.

Those are fightin' words.

and what a fucking racist fuckwad.

That guy sounds like an illustration of the tragic consequences of marrying your first cousin. Or your sister, if she's cuter.

:sarcasm:

Livin' in the holler, the options are a bit limited.

Thanks, you've been a great audience, I'll be here all week...try the possum!

I would have smacked him one.

Good for you for holding back.

Stupid too.

And a total jackass to say it out loud to you. What a sick asshole!

How did he react? Was he doing it to piss you off, or did he just blurt it out without thinking? Did he look startled when you reacted angrily?

I am so sorry to hear about this verbal attack on you. I feel angry just hearing about it in your OP. :grr:

And as I've had a chance to cool off and think about it, he didn't look real surprised when I (we) all told him to go away. But I do think he blurted it out. Either way, the punk better never ever cross my path again, especially when Tiffany and I are out walking.

Many in GA are useful idiots for the repigs, uneducated rednecks/racists/etc. and they are damn proud to be. It sickens me. Soon as I can get together enough money I'm getting out of here for the very last time.

Sorry your experience is like that of so many others.

I am a fan of them and I live in Iowa. I wish you luck in leaving Georgia though.

exists in the south. Pity, though, that it exists anywhere.

I have an uncle just like him. Redneck and racist to the bone. Here it is 2010 and we still have racist, bigoted people. It makes me sad.

idiot a copy of the movie "Gran Torino"-----maybe that will straighten him out.

the bigotry of a "black - Thomas to MLK" scale applied to this president escaped you?

doesn't include African Americans?

Very odd.

didn't,so my perception was probably flawed. It happens.

Discussion over.

No racist intention meant by me. Sorry if you took it that way. Actually, they are nice people who contribute to the common good. And they are avid Harkin supporters.

Your story makes me imagine a neighborhood where that racist guy pulls up to a new home with his good ole boy redneck regalia and the neighbors say "There goes the neighborhood."

Not exactly my kind of movie but really drives home the racist point.

you and your family and friends, for your children's sake, can find a way to "take the high road" with these troglodytes. Whether they ever take it or not, show them the way. That really is the only victory there is with these types.

And saved hosing off the blood.

I have this goal that when I hit somebody can I make his hat hit his feet.

Don't telegraph, disarm with something like, "Wow, I never looked at it like that." Drop your shoulders, take a quarter turn to your power side, and aim for the back of the head. It's just a simple case of slip and fall.

If I would have resorted to violence, I would have just done it. And get this, Derek is a gay man. Why he isn't married to his partner is beyond me (it's legal here in Iowa), but it's not for simple minds like mine to figure out.

and I don't blame you for being white-hot angry. However, there are much better ways to handle this and I will relate a personal story that, though it does not really equate to a child being maligned, shows that sense, compassion and reason is the only way to make these bastards feel small.

I have a couple of joyfully exuberant and disobedient dogs. They tend to approach everyone as a playmate. I do the right thing, run them in an off leash, secluded park but there are still the grim walkers who approach with twisted mouths, pointing fingers, snarling 'Those dogs should be on a lead'.

I used to get angry, but no more. Instead I go into friendly lecture mode. I tell the grim walkers that they should learn to recognise the signs of a happy, friendly dog. Take a moment to observe body language....then I tell them exactly what non-threatening dog body language is. I am so logical, so reasonable that they can only do one of two things; agree with me or hurry away.

I know your child is not the same as my dogs, but you will face this same kind of blind, stupid prejudice over and over again and if you have a short spiel prepared, pointing out without aggression the blind stupidity of their comments, you will have the pleasure of shaming them without losing your temper.

Oh, and congrats on your adoption and best wishes for your family in the future.

Some of these assholes live their lives in the safety of their cars and cubicles listening to Beck, Hannity, and Rush, so they really don't comprehend how fucking idiotic they act, the are actually getting reinforcement for their stupidity. Glad to see he got a verbal beat down. It may make him think a bit about himself.

let us see the little lady. Fuck that racist asshole.

I want to because like I said, I'm one of those overbearing types who brags up the kids all the time. I guess I'm not as savvy technically as I'd like to be.

just upload it to Photobucket, Flickr or some other photo sharing site. Then just post the link. It's not that technical.

Good luck with your new child.

I know how you feel. I've failed at dealing with these kinds of situations. But I know there are tools that we can learn that allow us to not have to stoop to his level, not have to hurt ourselves with adrenalin o.d.'s, and get a message across to the perpetrator.

I was never good at letting water roll down my back like a duck. But I have seen successful people deal with situations. I've been inspired by those who have a higher level of social skills.

That's all I can say. I've just spent several months working with a guy who was just incorrigible. A walking ego. Arrogant. And we were hand in hand working on my foundation. Just a horrid experience. And now that he's gone, I have finally figured out ways I could have worked better with him. Actually I didn't figure out all of them. A friend gave me some of his advice.

Just one example. I've been operating my own backhoe for about fifteen years. I had an operation to do that was kind of difficult. This guy was giving me advice, and then telling me what I did wrong once I was done. Instead of stewing over the experience for days, I should have simply handed him the keys and said "Show me". Maybe I would have learnned something. But I have a feeling he'd have proven his own failure.

It's an important thing you've brought up. Whether it's about racism or conservatism, we've got to find ways to win these little battles.

Racism is a sign of weakness, and or lack of experience.

By the way, I was furious about all the Vietnamese moving to the SF area. They were the worst drivers I've ever seen. It was a pet peeve of mine to have to see people piloting huge masses of steel, but who didn't have a clue what they were doing. Some years later I found myself working closely with an office of Vietnamese. What an amazing experience. And a complete transformation in my way of seeing them. That experience removed all racism from my life. The stories they shared. Their experiences of war, survival, rock and roll in Vietnam.

If it were me, I would have given him a right hook and knocked him into next week...

Who says something like that?

Fuck him.

Seriously, this guy needs an evaluation for his own protection.

Sorry you had to deal with the moron.

It sounds like your daughter will be surrounded by loving friends and family. Why shouldn't she be the one to change the hearts of the prejudiced and uniformed. It's families like yours that can change the world.

I'm a Latina myself but because I had a non-Spanish surname, they didn't know although it was an uncomfortable situation for me. Two of their daughters married Mexicans and they had to change their ideas because of their half Mexican grandchildren. :rofl: I'm sure Tiffany's generation will straighten this bozo out in due time.

ironically, belongs to the only "minority" that one can CHOOSE to belong to: he is an ignorant hater.

Bein' him must really suck!

He should be embarrassed.

It's mindboggling that somebody could be that dumb. Could there be something wrong with the guy? He doesn't sound 100% right to just show up at a neighbor's garage to hang out in the first place. I can't believe anybody would be that much of a straight-up asshole, surely he has something that isn't right. He has to be slow or something.

So a newbie may hear about it.

Now you know to keep the SOB out of your life, and the neighbors do too.

regret that as long as he lives in the neighborhood, no matter what bluster he exhibits on other subjects in the near future, in order to get back into the fold of the neighborhood.

I think, for what it's worth to you in your anger, that you have done all you need to do on the subject.
He will never, I all but promise it, be a problem again.

People don't work against their own self interest to the degree of making themselves unwelcome in a neighborhood, they do that only by voting Republican, because they have not yet had their karate chop of understanding.

You karate chopped the guy. He will not be a problem again, he is thinking this through even as I type.

Write to me if I'm wrong, and I'll stop over and take care of him for you

:)

I'd wager a bit of research on this dumbshit's last name and it would be easy to dig up a history of his likely Heinz57 background nationalities and their degree of "welcome" in this nation.

Just once, I wish someone would address these ignorant supremacists and get to the real root of their problem: insecurity. They are terrified that, given a more even playing field for everyone in this world, they would naturally fall to the bottom of the barrel. And they are likely right.

On your property or otherwise. But, sorry that guy was such an asshole to you...some people are rather bigoted. Consider the source, and forget about it.

at least in my state, they have the Make My Day law.

Basic self defense against subhuman bigots.

got get 'em tiger. :sarcasm:

I think I would've physically attacked him! :mad: :grr: :nuke:

about this awful experience is, you know what you're in for and you will be better able to prepare and create ways to respond in the future, in ways that aren't damaging to you or your family, don't frighten your daughter, maybe educate someone (in the vicinity, if not the offender), even find people coming to your aid or defense. Coming up with a standard response that puts them in their place might help. And then some slob will surprise the hell out of you anyway. Good luck and congratulations on your new daughter.

gook
1899, U.S. military slang for "Filipino" during the insurrection there, probably from a native word, or imitative of the babbling sound of their language to American ears (cf. barbarian). The term goo-goo eyes "soft, seductive eyes" was in vogue c.1900 and may have contributed to this somehow. Extended over time to "Nicaraguan," "any Pacific Islander" (World War II), "Korean" (1950s), "Vietnamese" and "any Asian" (1960s).

Try to remember that she's beautiful and he's a moron.

towards your precious child. People like that guy have nothing in their lives but misery and hate and they are like a disiese.

Best wishes to you and your wife and your little girl!!

Wow. What a toad. I think I'd flip him off every time I saw him for the rest of my life. What an ugly little . . . person (hesitating a little on that)

People still use the term "gook" as a slur again SE Asians? :puke:

I have relatives that adopted a very dark-skined little girl from southern India. the racist remarks were disgusting!

I'm nearly speechless.

And of COURSE yours is the cutest mostest preciousest lil girl out there! :P

He's got the credentials.

He informed me that "ALL THOSE MEXICANS don't wanna learn English".

I marveled that 1)He must have surveyed all 12 million of them himself; 2) in Spanish; 3) not found a ONE who wanted to learn English. Wow!!!

:wtf:


Some statistician. I now refer to him as "The Carl Freidrich Gauss of our town". :sarcasm:

I would be prepared for another confrontation in the future. Take care of yourself! :hug:

I started reading your post before I realized it was you. Now I'm even more pissed knowing this is here in IA. I shouldn't be surprised though - I've met people on this side of the state that would be just as cruel.

But on a brighter note. Congratulations on your new family member! She's going to have great parents.

Unfortunately, even in 2010, Bigotry still thrives in this country. it isn't limited to The South (Where I am from, by the way), it persists in all parts of the country.

One of the good things that can come of this, is at least you know where this piece of shit is coming from, and so do your neighbors. A little word of mouth, to all the other neighbors, and this useless creature will hopefully find himself isolated and thoroughly unwelcome.

Don't EVER take shit like that from ANYONE.

Bigotry must be stood down and stood up to at EVERY turn.

Take it from a transgender individual who knows what they are talking about. :)

I'm just sorry you had to experience something so ugly like that. Individuals like that are useless parasites who have nothing to offer, nothing to contribute to a civilized society, and serve basically no purpose for even existing.

I wish you all the best with Tiffany Joy.

She is going to be a part of a wonderful family.

:hug:

Its use is so wrong.

I haven't heard it for a long time. It seems so many of these words have kind of gone by the way side (gook, spic, chink, etc.) except for n*gger. Our community embracing it has clearly caused nothing but harm, as evidenced by the fact that it is the one racial slur that can't seem to disappear from society. I pray that we will stop using it someday so it can disappear from the rest of society as well.

I'm sorry you have a douchebag of a neighbor :) but congratulations on your lovely new daughter!

P.S. I am totally in favor of you going all medieval on his ass. But mainly... congratulations! I'm so happy for you! :hug:

Good luck with that parenthood thing.

"Well, I had to do my part to get someone decent in the neighborhood to make up for all the stupid, ugly white trash like you. How old were you when you stopped having sexual relations with your mother?"

It should not be surprising to hear it bandied about when our own Government is the one that created it and encouraged the use of it..I don't know what names have been given to those we are currently killing but there has to be some way to dehumanize the people or our soldiers would feel remorse about killing and maiming them.

Dick heads like him are why we're in the fucking mess we're in now. I'd bet money, if I was a betting man that is, that he considers himself a raygun democrat too.

I am constantly amazed at the level of stupidity and bigotry in some people. He's lucky you didn't beat the crap out of him.

Wow.. How long has it been since I've even heard or see that phrase? Thankfully a LONG while...

I really think this guy was set up or sent in by someone else you may know to piss you off. First, what kind of an idiot actually says something like that to a parent? He might think it.. but even 99.9% of people who THINK stuff like that don't have the balls to actually say it to the parent of the child that they are talking about.

Second.. the fact that even though he'd never met you, and never been into your buddies garage he knew that you were "adopting a kid" is really suspicious. And, he knew you were adopting a kid.. but didn't know what country/origin the kid was from? No.. he knew.. he just wanted to hear you talk about it or show a picture.

Frankly - the guy is an idiot.. if you know where he lives.. or one of your buddies does - I'd think that he's be a bit worried about his property. I'd try to find out more about this guy.. who is he, where is he from, etc. 'Cause I sure as heck wouldn't want him around my child.. no matter what!

Oh - and congratulations on your new adorable daughter!

Perhaps not well, and perhaps not someone who goes to the garage gatherings. But there's definitely a LOT more to this. It would be wise to find out more about the guy - who he knows in the hood, who he hangs out with, etc.

I would also try to get a background check on him, just to be on the safe side.

I hope word gets out about him and that he is roundly and unamiously shunned. Peaceful, yet powerful.

Congratulations on your beautiful new daughter.

I know we have idiots in this area, but unless you're from DuPage, it's pretty blue.

I'm not shocked, just a little suprised, i guess.
GAC

elements of the right wing. A lot of racists who used to know enoguh to at least keep their racist BS to themselves (or else spout it only in groups where they knew for a fact everyone agreed with them) now think it is socially acceptable to say such things in any sort of company.

They seem to be genuinely shocked that others are appalled by their comments. They spend their time listening to Rush, Glenn, and Lou, and if they read at all, they read Free Republic and Little Green Footballs--or books by their RW media idols.

As a result, they are used to saying such things, or seeing and hearing such things said, with no negative response from others. In fact, they get admired and patted on the back for such comments. Then when they are in a group that doesn't consist only of people like themselves, they simply speak the way they have become accustomed to speaking--and are surprised when all hell breaks loose.

Ignore. I have used this method rather a few times, and it does work.
Make them not exist in your world.

Congrats on your little one!