I'm gonna freeze my spending, except for, like, that spending part

Hubby and I watched Rachel Maddow's conversation with Jared Bernstein, Biden's economic advisor last night. They were talking about the budget freeze. It was very confusing. But it gave me some ideas.

Me: Hey! I think we should do a budget freeze.

Hubby: Great idea! We need to cut back.

Me: Yeah. Except for the essentials, of course, like food, clothing, gas, utilities, private school for the kids, and of course our matching BMWs. But other than that, we're freezing everything! Cutting back! No more spending!

Hubby: That doesn't sound like much of a freeze.

Me: Well, we need to call it a freeze because then the neighbors, who hate us anyway, will think we're being fiscally responsible. But we won't really freeze the budget because that would catapult me into a depression. But we can, like, maybe find some things to cut while we spend what we need to spend without cutting what we don't want to cut.

Hubby: Sure. Got it. So what exactly are you cutting?

Me: Well, I was thinking we could switch to generic dog food for Fido. But then we'll need to spend more on grooming. She'll need something to cheer her up.

Let the driveway crumble, while starting two lawsuits against some vagrants who can never pay off even if you win. Great spending cuts.