Beneath the surface of the HOUSE!111

Perplexed and bemused by the attention a South Carolinian home might receive for such a protracted period of time, I carefully considered options. Fitzgerald is pursuing his case, it remains to be determined what Hillary knows of bad and evil men, Cheney is the vice-president (and you aren't, so *neener-neener-neener*), so this domicile had to have major juju associated with it. Having had the benefit of traipsing through the muddied waters of New Orleans (heckuva job, Bushie), snaking my way through the forestland of the Carolinas was a trivial matter. Tracking the Edward's estate in the late hours of the eve was equally simple, requiring only to look for the brightest lighted facility which was not, in and of itself, a major city. Careful surveillance revealed a hidden passage, almost impercetible, beneath the foundation of Edward's Manor. Using secret, Katrina-borne ninja skills, I finally inched my way into the inner sanctum! Bizarre and amazing things therein were found! Internets untold, social security lock-boxes, mines abundant for the exploration of miner's sons! And, there, beneath spotlights, dressed in tights, were Edwards and Gore fiddling with some high tech machine beyond my comprehension! Amazingly, I had found my way to the Gore Cave within which these men worked upon the Global Cooler! It soon became apparent power was the limitation placed upon the Global Cooler's success. Oil didn't work, nor did corn-derived ethanol. The only thing which would suffice to sustain this miraculous machine was to steal and adapt Darth Cheney's metabolic preservation machine. Initiation of the cooling event itself could only be started through the power of a ground up and minced decider. And, these brave men struggled within the wee hours to discover the solution. I started to turn on the radio to do a little happy dance, until Tipper leaned out and said the radio was child-protected and I had to show id first.

Seriously, get off the man's home people. It isn't the cost of the home, it's what he achieves while he resides in it that matters most.