My Valentine of 35 years....

I met Linda Lee 38 yrs ago and she didn't like me very much at the time. She was my secretary, and before me she had great bosses always telling her how great she was. I criticized the first document she typed for me and pointed out her errors in a constructive manner. She rushed off to the employees lounge in tears, and later when she went home, she told her mother that she would never work for that new bastard. She was engaged to be married in three weeks and decided that she could put up with me until then so she returned to work the next day.

Long story short, she changed her mind and we were married on St. Patrick's Day in 1973 and we had a beautiful baby daughter in 1977. Danielle, our daughter, suffered from brain trauma after a DPT vaccination and one of us would have to give up our career to provide her with daily care. At about the same time, I suffered a mild heart attack so the decision as to who would take care of Danielle was easy.

Linda continued her career and continued to climb the corporate ladder while always looking after us as well. She became well known and respected in her profession and although she had to travel a lot we had a wonderful life. She turned 60 last October 30th and we discussed her early retirement so we could spend more time together. Danielle is now 32 and still with us so we did everything as a family.

Linda's favorite time of year was Christmas and she just loved decorating, baking and especially shopping for presents,for us, and everyone else we knew or didn't know. This past Christmas we put up the tree and decorations and she was in her glory. Three weeks before Christmas she was told by her Doctor that they had found a small spot on her lung and it appeared very minor but suggested that she have it removed.

She decided to have it done immediately so that she would be home in time to open presents and make Christmas dinner. A simple in and out procedure with no chemo or radiation needed. She had the operation and came through without a hitch and in fact was talking and laughing.
The next day she was transferred to Intensive Care for an infection and was there for over a month.

Everyday Danielle was with her, holding her hand and reading to her, but she never recovered and passed away two weeks ago. Today was tough without my valentine but I bought her flowers anyway. As it turns out I am now a very rich man, almost a millionaire, but I would give it all back in a heartbeat, because without her I remain so poor.

So love the one you're with this Valentine's Day... life really is short.

And you are a rich man, but your wife was a very, very rich woman to have you in her life with the depth of love you profess.

Peace to you and your daughter.

of months (if that) to live. It is the saddest time of my life, and yet it is so special. We have a little time left to show our love to each other.

And our Valentine's Day tradition is to watch the movie, "Don Juan de Marco" with Johnny Depp, Marlon Brando, and Faye Dunaway. We are watching it now and enjoying it hugely.

May you all have a love like this in your life.

And I soon, will feel your sorrow for my valentine of 30 years.

there is no greater pain. Knowing we all go through it has always helped me...sort of..... in little bits

:cry:

and may they be with you forever. Best wishes.

:cry:

a poignant reminder to all of us to cherish every day we have with those we love

I am so very sorry about your Linda...

Safe passage to her!

You had some wonderful years, and how I wish you could have had many, many more...

I love my husband beyond words, and I have often thought how much I would miss him if he died, and how much I rely on him... I realize the fragility of life...

Thank you for this...

May your memories sustain you in this time of transcendent grief.

:hug:

my heartfelt condolences to you, Green Mountain Dem. I'm so happy you had the time with your love that you did, and you have Danielle to carry on her spirit.
Life can be so unfair. Thanks for the reminder-:hug:

but how lovely that you loved each other for so long. :grouphug:

May memories of happy days together bring you joy.
:hug:

money is nothing when you don't have the love of your life to share it with!

:grouphug:

...is better than never having loved at all. My late husband was the other half of me, my best friend and the greatest person I have ever known ~~ I miss him every day of my life. I truly understand where you are coming from. But...I remind myself all the time that I had the kind of love that most people only dream of. It hurts to have lost someone like that ~~ but then I think of how blessed I was in having found him and having him for many years. Makes me so glad that I had what I did have ~~ even if it ended.

:hug:

I woke up crying again this morning.

:grouphug:

:hug:

:hug:

I's so sorry she is not here, but I'm sure she is with you in spirit. She sounds like a lovely lady.

my deepest condolences. You were and are a lucky guy. Danielle sounds wonderful - like her mom.

This is for you

"The Lovely Linda"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zWYmd5hodaY

and I wish that I could say or do something - anything - that didn't sound so stupid as
I am so sorry and I am crying and weeping for you

I am so sorry

My valentine passed 6 years ago. I know it's cliche to say, but it will get easier.

I just went and gave my valentine extra hugs because of you.

My deepest sympathy to you and Danielle. It sounds like you and Linda Lee spent a wonderful 35 yrs together. I know you hold those years dear as I'm sure she did too.

Thank you for sharing your Valentine with us and reminding us to treasure those we love.

I am in tears at your loss. :hug:

spend so many wonderful years together....It is your love that will never die.
No matter how long we have a loved one near us..when we lose them, the time seems too short.

:grouphug:

Your wife has left you with a lifetime of wonderful, loving memories. I hope that will bring you comfort in the days ahead.

:hug: MissDeeds

So sorry for your loss. What a beautiful heartfelt post. Linda was a very luck woman.

..and you are so right. Life is short and there are no guarrantees.

Cherish your memories.

:hug:

Thank you very much for sharing your story and I am very sorry about Linda.

Don

and it is clear that someone who appreciates love as you do will never be without it.

But I celebrate the fact that you had a valentine.

My ex-spouse of 12 years used Valentine's Day to admit an affair and ask me to move out, so that she could move in. Which she dd the day after I moved my stuff out 10 days later.

Valentine's Day is not my favorite day of the year, and 9 years later, I remain alone.

I'm mostly okay with that, but my heart feels your pain as I read your post. :hug:

May you and your daughter find peace in the coming year.

That was a very moving story. It's clear you both loved each other and your child very much.

...and I am going to hug my wife, right now.

This is such a beautiful tribute. Thank you for reminding us to cherish every day. :hug:

:hug: Such a beautiful tribute....may all of the good memories you have of Linda's life sustain you in the coming weeks and give you peace.

:hug:

These words have always comforted me in times of loss - going back to the suicide of one of my best friends in high school and through the loss of my best friend's father a few years ago; and though you have shared beautiful memories that I hope nourish and sustain you in the years to come, perhaps they could help you as well:

"May the road rise up to meet you.
May the wind be always at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face;
the rains fall soft upon your fields and until we meet again,
may God hold you in the palm of His hand."
(Traditional Gaelic Blessing)

Thank you for sharing your memories with us and for reminding us all to cherish the time we do have and to take less for granted...

My condolences to you and Danielle on Linda's passing. She sounded like a wonderful woman and will be missed greatly.
:hug:

You wrote a beautiful tribute.

My condolences to you.

sorry for your loss, and hugs to you and your daughter. :hug:

My deepest, sincerest and most heartfelt thoughts, prayers, condolences and sympathies to you and your family. I'm so, so sorry:hug: :hug:

Our daughter too experienced an ADR hours after a DPT vaccination.
Fortunately, I did not listen to the pediatrician and took her to the emergency room
despite his patronizing assurances that her fever (105 degrees) was normal.

I know to this day that the reason my daughter, though needing medication the rest of her life,
is with us is because she was in the emergency room when she stopped breathing.
Otherwise, she too, would no doubt have suffered serious brain trauma or death.

We all need to be reminded from time to time how precious and fragile
life is.

I am so sorry for your loss and so grateful to you for sharing such a
beautiful love story with our community.

YOU ARE LOVED.

BHN

diagnosis. I'm OK and I am with my Valentine. I take your advice to heart.

Green Mountain Dem.

There are no words. :cry: I simply send you hugs of comfort and support. Blessings to you all....


:hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:

God, if everyone could find a love like that, maybe we would have a way happier world. I'm so sorry she had to leave you way too soon, but happy for you and the love that you had.

Life is short. You're lucky to have such a wonderful family and I'm so sorry for your loss.

My deepest sympathies to you in your time of loss. :hug: I hope in time the happy memories of your time together will ease the sadness in your heart.

To have had a love like that for 35 years. I envy you and I am sure many others do to.

My best to you--

Julie

I'm without words; only emotion.

My best to you and your daughter.

:hug:

must be for you, and how difficult things have to be now. What a wonderful tribute you have posted and how fortunate you both were to have found each other and had each other these past several decades. I know it's not much at all, but, if it makes you feel any better at all, I will hug my (fairly new) hubby that I never thought I'd be fortunate enough to find in my forties extra hard tonight and will continue to treasure each day with him as though it could be the last.

that you created such wonderful & rich lives for yourselves. What a moving tribute to Linda Lee, Danielle & yourself. Such a sad loss...and you're among the luckiest people I know. Thank you for sharing your magnificent love and your lives with us. May you find peace on this Valentines Day and so many holidays to come. And in all of those moments when things come flooding back to you. My heart goes out to all of you, Green Mountain Dem.

that love is the most important thing. Thanks.

Your sincerity and understanding of the full picture is making my world larger today because I got to read this.
My heart goes out to you.

and envious of the love you shared. I wish I had someone in my life like that.

left me broken hearted. I so feel for you and will hope every day that you and I will learn to live without our reasons for living. It is so hard; I won't kid you, but some days you actually can see the sunshine. We had been married for 46 years, but were sweethearts longer than that. Don't let anyone keep you from crying, for it really helps. After my tears I can look around and see him everywhere and know he's still with me. I can't pack away his things or give them away yet. Maybe I'll never be able to, and I hear constantly that it will get better. I didn't expect Valentine's Day
to be so harsh. I hope it gets better sooner than later.

God Bless us both and keep us healthy for our children's sake.

I wish with all my heart that your Linda was with you and Danielle today. :grouphug:

I loved your love story.

I hope she still watches over the both of you too.

Sonia

will comfort you in the trying days ahead--many never get that gift. God Bless you and Danielle.

There really don't seem to be any other words... :hug:

i am so sorry. peace and prayers your way...

You & Danielle have my deepest sympathy.

I was in tears reading your story. You are right to remind us that time is short and today is all we have. Love never dies. :hug:

I lost my mom when I was 3. That was 31 yrs ago. My dad never remarried. I live everyday knowing that all I have could be gone at anytime. I can't stand to fight with my husband. We had an argument the other day and as usual within hours we had made up. We have been married 15 yrs and we still show each other we love each other every day. My dad and I never grieved toghether. It was too painful for him, so we basically grieved by ourselves. It was very lonely and we have never been close because of it. Do me a favor. Grieve with your daughter. Talk to her. Show her how you feel. Don't be afraid to cry around her. Ask her how she is feeling. Listen. Believe me it will bring her comfort as I'm sure it will bring you comfort as well.

She is with you now. If you listen hard enough, you will hear her. Love never ends. Ever.

there are tears streaming down my face as I type this.

:grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:

I did something stupid today and hurt my Valentine, and reading you post makes me want to move mountains to make it up to him. Hugs to you and your daughter. :hug:

I am so sorry for your loss. Please just remember those wonderful times. My sympathies and prayers are with you.

:cry: :hug:

It is a beautiful tribute you've given her here. :hug:

:grouphug:

Strength and peace to you and to your precious daughter.

:hug: :hug: :hug:

Your sweet wife lives on in your memories.

:cry:

I wish I had words that would ease the pain.......

truly, I do.....

I'm sorry for your loss.

and kindest thoughts for you, Danielle and Linda Lee.

thank you for sharing your beautiful love with us, and reminding us of just how precious each moment is. you have given all of us here an amazing gift.

have to be separated by death. My wonderful father's amazing soulmate was with him for a year, then diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, and gone in 6 weeks!!

But, Green Mountain Dem, she never really left him. She was always there, and we could feel her presence. She is there, loving you, and I know you will be able to feel her warm presence there all around you.

and years ahead.

:hug:

... and peace pour down on you and Danielle like warm golden light.

:cry: :hug:


Hekate

Almost been there, never want to do that.

Cherish the memories, small consolation though they may be, and pity those who will never have them.

:cry:

Thanks for your story. I'll keep you and Danielle in my thoughts and prayers if it is okay with you.

She won't talk but you can feel her all the same. Love never dies it just takes a different shape.:hug:

Please rest well, eat well, help well, take help and take time. Thank you for sharing your joy and pain to successfully double joy between us and divide the pain between us. It makes each of us richer. It's a good rich.

Please accept my deepest condolence, Green Mountain Dem. I cannot even imagine your loss and I've taken your words to heart. :hug: Thank you.

Your wife sounds like a lovely person. Kind, generous and helpful. I regret her loss for you and your daughter and all the people she touched as she lived her life. I never knew her and I regret that too.

I have been married for 35 years to a wonderful man who is the love of my life. In 2008 he contracted MRSA and nearly died. He came home with a massively damaged body, but the same radiant spirit. I don't know what I would do without him. I care for him and try to do the things for him he cannot do for himself, as you and your wife cared for your daughter, and as you still will care for your daughter.

Take care of yourself and thank you for writing such a beautiful memorial to a remarkable woman and sharing it with us. Your loss is our loss too.

But I am glad you had such a wonderful life with her while she was here.

My heartfelt condolences to you and to your beautiful Danielle.

:hug:

And so many beautiful memories. Deep in your heart you
are indeed a very rich man.

It sounds like you shared a wonderful lifetime together.

is more valuable that rubies and more precious than gold. some people go their whole lives searching for what you found. You truly are a rich man to have shared your life with such a wonderful woman.

I'm so sorry for your loss.

what a heartbreaking story. i can´t imagine your sorrow.:hug:

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And thank you for your important message.

Thank you for sharing your story. :hug:

n/t

....my wife and and my best friend were both diagnosed with cancer the week before Valentine's Day. I had lost my dad a few years earlier to cancer, so I was devastated. Ninety days later, my best friend died from his colon cancer. He knew there was something wrong, but with no insurance and virtually no money, he just let it go, and it took him quickly.

Then, my wife began her battle. First, it was surgery, a double mastectomy, with immediate reconstruction. It went great, clean margins, and the reconstruction was "acceptable". As long as she was alive, I didn't care. She refused chemo and radiation because a close friend had just went thru it and died shortly afterwards. A year or so later, on Christmas day, she woke up with Scarlet Fever, the result of an untreated Strep infection. It attached itself to her implants, and both had to be removed immediately. She went a year with no breasts in order to heal. I didn't care.....she was still here.

The second reconstruction turned out much better than the first. The young surgeon did a remarkable job.....his best! He even asked to use her photos as a sales tool!

Round about this time, we inherited a lot of money. Enough to retire on....we were in our early fifties. We vowed to spend everyday we had left, together. That was seven years ago. No sign of the cancer, and she hasn't even been to a doctor in a couple of years!

We were given the thing people in this position want most......time. I can only imagine what it would have been like to lose her 7 years ago. I cherish everyday.

I am so sorry you lost your love. It's a very tough road to go down.

Your story brought tears to my eyes. Sounds like you had a wonderful life together -- I'm so sorry it was cut short.

You are wise to count your blessings even though you mourn. I wish you and Danielle a good transition. Thankfully, Linda took care of the precious memories part before she left. :hug: Peace.

you have written.

to remind us all to tell our loved ones how much we love them. Money is not that important.

but thank you very much for this important reminder. Not that I need to hear it, but others certainly might.

It's cheesy but I always think of that James Taylor song... 'shower the people you love with love, show them the way that you feel'... you never know when the time will come that you won't get another chance.

May your Linda rest in peace and may you honor her by living a good life.

.

We've been together that long. Married for 30, but together for 33. I'm so sorry about your loss.
GAC

Thank you for sharing your story. I sometimes think that we all take each other for granted at some point in our lives. Thank you for reminding me that we need to enjoy and celebrate each other every day.:hug:

:hug:

you were very lucky to have her and she was lucky to have you.

money REPLACE LOVE! Your "heart" must have a hole in it that seems unbearable. "They" say time heals wounds, but I know that time only makes it easier to cope from time to time!

We NEVER forget our loved ones and the hole will always be a void. Please be strong and know that so many here wish the best for you and your family!

:cry: :hug: :loveya:

I have no idea what I would do without Mrs Taverner

:hug:

thank you so much for sharing your story with us. I wish much Peace and Healing for you and your daughter. :hug:

Green Mountain Dem

So sorry to hear that you dosent have your valentine with you anymore.. Im so sorry about it.

But at least you have your memory, and I as I understand you, you still love your wife of 35 year deeply, and I hope you in time can have the memories to warm you, when your sorrow is to deep to bear...

Money is nothing when you dosen't have someone to live with..

Hang in there Green, you still have all your memories, and familiy who I belive care for you..

Diclotican

:hug:

:hug:

:hug:

You have known love and to have lost it is more than agonizing.

:(

:hug:

My best friend from college days had a spinal procedure in mid-2008. He contracted a staph infection in the hospital, become extremely sick, very nearly passed away, but eventually recovered. Needed the site to be re-entered and "cleaned out" and much medication. Took over six months; to say he was incensed is a serious understatement.
He urged my S.O., who was facing a similar procedure last month, to contact one or more well-known local PI lawyers who specialize in medical cases. Ask them for the truth about the hospital and surgeon, because the medical community will never, ever expose their own to such inquiry. She did, and had the operation's location switched from a big local hospital to the surgery suite at the orthopedic clinic of which the surgeon is a member. So far, all is well.
Lesson? Do your research before serious procedures. Outside the medical profession.

Life is short, but it seems like your wife had the knack of living it and you were lucky to be privileged to love her! :hug:

How are you doing?

I can't imagine life without her. I keep telling her I'm going first. I don't know if I could even handle her going before me.

So very, very sorry for your loss. Your tribute to Linda Lee is beautiful. In my heart I believe she is still watching over both of you. :hug:

comfort in the days, weeks and months ahead. Peace be with you.

:cry:

I'm so sorry to hear of your terrible loss. What a beautiful love story. You have my deepest condolences.

St Patrick's Day is also my daughter's birthday. I'll always think of you and Linda during our celebrations.

Thanks for touching my hard heart.

These tears stem from a combination of sharing your sorrow and pain, but also from your tribute to the many lovely years you and Linda Lee shared.

These years have now, seemingly, come to an end.

But: I truly believe that you will find in the weeks, months and years to come great solace in this great love which lasted throughout so many years. You will miss her, you will miss her terribly. And then there will be moments when she will be right there with you, like a cooling, soothing ointment on your pain. Let's say - you are using a particular kitchen utensil Linda Lee was partial to. You can't help but think of her. One moment you might feel that the mere thought of her using it is just about killing you with pain. The next moment it will be the opposite, soothing, because in this small symbol of a bowl or spoon or cup Linda Lee is still right there with you. In these small gestures, fleeting moments in time - she will always be a part of you. You are not alone, and you are blessed for having experienced such a great love.

I hate to see you in pain, so

:hug:

hope your memories sustain you and your daughter in this difficult time.

You've experienced wealth that even the richest may never know.



Peace...

I am so sorry that you were without your sweetheart this Valentine's Day. The loss must be horrifically painful.

I hope, though, that in time you'll realize that your life is much wealthier because dear Linda was a part of it. The best of her is still with you...
~~hugs~~

:hug:

:hug:

nt

Yes, the life of our loved ones can be too short. My wife died suddenly just a few days after Valentine's last year. She loved Valentine's Day and I think we had a good one.

I hope you, your family, and your wife's friends, can remember the good times when you begin to feel sad. Sounds to me that your wife had a very loving husband and daughter. I'm sure she felt very fortunate and comfortable for that.

And very special wishes for you, my friend. Lots of us will be thinking about you. And thanks for the reminder about showing our love.