Morford: 37 things worse than a KFC meatwich

And lo, the reaction was swift and true, an incredible flood of comment and reply, recoil and horrified laughter, in response to last week's column -- and the Huffington Post's wondrous reprint -- on the gut-clenching KFC meat phenomenon/abomination known as the Double Down.

MARK MORFORD

But amongst the amazement and wonder, a few oxygen-deprived souls dared to write in to say, "Aww c'mon, it's not all that bad? There are far worse things out there, for sure." And then they proceeded to try and prove how the DD's noxious calorie and fat numbers aren't even as toxic as some other vile fast foodstuffs, completely ignoring the larger picture I was delineating -- all the pollution, animal abuse, industrial farming, chemicals, synthetics, antibiotics, hormones and just plain insidiousness of a company concocting something this greasy and disgusting in the modern age.

But it got me thinking, aside from the food porn on thisiswhyyourefat.com, well, just what are those things that are worse for you than KFC's fistful of karmic hate? What else can you shove into your body, your brain, your very anima itself, if you really despise yourself, stopped caring long ago and just want to curl up and die in a corner somewhere? Shall we list a few? Let's.

1) Tea Party Rally. Recently did I stumble, like stepping on a rusty nail, across a surreal clip of Sarah "Queen of Duh" Palin rallying the "troops" at a Tea Party Express stop somewhere in Gunlick, Kentuckansasiana, and I found my mind suddenly blasted clean by the giant pile of dumb I was witnessing, unable to pinpoint exactly what it was that this circus sideshow reminded me of.

Then I had it. Remember that bizarre, 30-second acid trip of a scene in "The Wizard of Oz," the moment just before a very stoned Dorothy skips away to hook up with her crazy gay pals and traipse through a giant Pink Floyd album, the moment when those three adult dwarves stumble out of the Munchkinland horde wearing little kid outfits, and sing their little surly song, replete with surly, out-of-sync-leg spasms? Yes, the Palin-led Tea Party rally reminded me of the Lollipop Guild, serenading Dorothy. Perfect.

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:D

at the office today... it's greasy looking and disgusting.

to counter th First lady's effort to healthy eating for Americans.

Whats sad truth is that the majority of people in America that buys KFC are
blacks in poor neighborhoods, thats the underlying facts.

It's shows how pathetic the South have become with their cynical thinking.

Profit.

They're not trying to undermine the First Lady.

They're not trying to kill poor black people.

for that unhealthy food, is that your argument?

That is correct.

to eat from KFC?

statements while you're at it?

I'm so white I practically glow in the dark, and I love KFC. But even I won't eat that sandwich.

but my point is this (before we some how get it twisted) majority of people that eat KFC are black folks
maybe poor black folks and yes there is the perception that black folks loves chicken more than any meat,
not that there is anything wrong with that but on this context, I'm saying that KFC having this statistics
available to them are using this knowing that poor black folks would jump at a ridiculously looking unhealthy
food that is definitely a recipe for disaster, just to undermine the efforts of the First Lady, hell it could
also be that a black person within the KFC ranks initiated this cacophony, that is my opinion and mine
alone. (need to also point out to you before you accuse me of racism that I'm also black...capesh)

...majority of people that eat KFC are black folks...

Let's see some verifiable data to support that.

it is my opinion alone, since it is I'm allowed to state my observation, yes? no?

It's buried about 3/4 of the way through a horrible run-on sentence.

In MY area most people who eat at KFC are Hispanic or white.

I saw an ad for Popeye's on TV last night. All of the actors were black. Maybe they're the ones who are targeting poor black kids for a slow death by poisoning.

I'll be sure to tell him next time we go out for lunch that Hutzpa said since he is a man of color he is only to go to KFC....

:eyes:

right ater you tell him that you just made it up to get a rouse out o him.

He already got a kick out of it thanks!

Everyone knows black people prefer Church's, Asians eat Phở gà when they want chicken, and Hispanics eat at El Pollo Loco.

Ummmmmmmmm, Phở gà...

:rofl:

That pulled pork parfait looks Awesome!

8-37) And finally, seeking additional input for this list, I posted a humble query to the 12,000+ followers on my Facebook fan page, asking for suggestions. And so, without further ado, I present to you an abbreviated list of those non-food items deemed far worse for you than a KFC Double Down, according to, well, you.

In no particular order, they are:

Marriage, Las Vegas, lobotomies, rat poison, spray-on tans, radioactive isotopes, Kansas, the Oklahoma militia, Meg Whitman, Ann Coulter, Nancy Grace, Fox News, Mormons, the Louisiana school system, the Texas State Board of Education, nuclear waste (barely), strychnine (ditto), Christian universities, unprotected bestiality, dating writers (wait, what?), foot binding, a dioxin enema, home-schooled fundamentalists (note: possibly a food item), auto-erotic asphyxiation, resentment, war, a closed mind, uterine fibroids, the Bible and, of course, sleeping in a cage with seven hungry weasels. Just FYI.



Read more: http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/g/a/2010/04/16/notes041610.DTL#ixzz0lYd90bB8