"Sorry Doesn't Help"

I taught a student who could worry the warts off of a frog. He was harmless enough, but he would glom onto someone and natter and pick at them constantly. He would pick up their books and look through them, talk about their clothes and whatever else came into his mind. It was like having an itch that couldn't be scratched.

I know the kids he nattered at wanted to slap him into next week. They didn't because they knew they would bear the brunt of the punishment. If they said "he picked up my book" or whatever, that would seem like a minor offense to be smacked over.

If he was ever caught by a teacher who knew what he was up to, he would get all big-eyed and innocent looking. He would mournfully say "I'm sorry." He didn't mean a word of it.

One day he came into class nattering at another student. I was moving to head him off, when the student slammed his book on the desk and glared at the offender. I heard the inevitable,"I'm sorry."

The other student looked at him and yelled, "SORRY DOESN'T HELP!"

That's what I feel like yelling at people who apologize or pretend to these days. They aren't sorry. They are just sorry that they were caught or something went wrong.

I don't want to hear it anymore. They knew what they were doing was wrong. They could and should have stopped, but they didn't. The damage they wrought was in some cases immeasurable.

I want them to SHUT UP and listen. I want them punished severely for doing what they did while knowingly violating laws or common sense.

Just SHUT UP because "SORRY DOESN'T HELP."

(I realize there are some people who do things and are truly contrite. They do try to avoid repeating their mistakes and try to help fix what they did if possible. I am not talking about them. I know somebody will raise this point.)

sorry means you won't do it again. are you going to do it again. there are people who are genuinely sorry, but the i'm sorry if you were offended and that type of non apology apology is not genuine. if you won't see where you did something wrong, then you are not sorry and will probably repeat it.

From the movie V for Vendetta.

Valerie's Letter
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B0lYIBjCpco


I really liked this sentiment.

For three years I had roses, and apologized to no one.


If you feel you did no wrong, and apologize falsely, then a person is dishonest, maybe even to oneself.

So if a person apologies they should be sincere, or they double the fault, once for dishonesty, once for lack of integrity. Or claim your belief as in that quote.


Also, it is a good feeling to have forgiveness before even requiring an apology, then you never need or expect an apology, for then there is no wrong done to a person holding them back in bitterness. To have no one owe you is a freeing place, for you hold no demands from another person.

and very true. I lash out at times out of fear and frustration. It is the fight of my life to be the kind of person you describe and no doubt are yourself. Thank you for sharing this. You have given me something to think very hard about.

And I also have lesser moments that I try to learn from to be more of what I want to be, and there are also great moments of joy in life, so overall it is pretty good :)