My Daughter graduates from High School tomorrow. For a long time, I didn't think that was going to

happen. She didn't fare well when she went to high school. In fact, she went to her school district's continuation school for two years. We went round and round about that. I felt that she wasn't trying hard enough.

For most of her life, she's been on the outside where school has been concerned, and I always wondered why. She's always been one of the smartest kids I've ever known. Yeah, I'm biased because she's MY kid, but I'm serious; she's sometimes too smart for her own good. When she didn't live up to that potential in school I had a hard time understanding why.

She's gay. Looking back, I knew. In retrospect, I knew when she was just a child. It's just something you feel as a parent. You never really know though, until you're actually TOLD by your child. It never bothered me though because she's MINI-ME. Gay or not.

A couple of years ago, she came out to me and the rest of the world. I posted on DU about it. I told my DU friends that it didn't matter, because it didn't. She told me she had something to tell me, and when she was done, I told her I was relieved because I thought she was going to say that she had dropped out of school.

When she was finally convinced that coming out wasn't the end of the world, her grades went from 2.5 to 4.0. I can understand WHY. Such a burden was lifted off of her shoulders. She was finally able to show the world who she really was.

She's graduating from Mayfair High School tomorrow. Earlier this year, she was instrumental in forming the Gay/Straight Alliance at Mayfair. She's graduating as the club's first President, although she's the CO-President. When the club was sanctioned by the school, she took a back seat. The President made her step up and take credit for what she'd done.

She's my daughter. She's gay. She's the light of my fucking life, and tomorrow I'm going to be ten feet tall when she walks up onto the stage to get her diploma.

All Hail Allison! There's a girl you haven't heard of, who just might be someone you will.

She's good lookin', 5'10", and as sharp as a tack.

You Go Girl.

:party:

Thanks from the bottom of my heart though...

How lucky am I? To have been blessed with a Daughter like her I am the luckiest man in the world.

good kids just don't happen on accident.

We see it time and again: When someone finally gets the opportunity to be at ease with their self, they find the confidence and self-assertion to excel. Most I've known had to wait until they were through high school before the opportunity presents, and some had to wait years after that before they could bloom. Happy to hear your daughter has seized her life early on. I hope tomorrow -- and all her tomorrows -- bring her all the joy that she can wish.

breathtaking.

I only wish there were something I could have done years ago to have brought her out of that shell.

No matter... she's ten feet tall and treetop wide now.

After the ceremony tomorrow she's coming to my house to spend the weekend with her grandparents who she'll be surprised to see because she was told they couldn't afford to come. I plan to show her what my DU friends have written, and I'm sure she'll be blown away and even more emboldened.

:grouphug:

And a personal kick for you for being there for your kid!

You ain't seen nothin' yet. She's going to blow your socks clean off in the next few years.

I'm happy for both of you.

Her mom (my ex-wife) deserves kudos as well. I can't sell her short.

My Baby will enter a new phase of her life tomorrow. I know, I KNOW, that she'll succeed.

"She's going to blow your socks clean off in the next few years."

My firstborn was brilliant from day one and very self-defining. Awards in HS. Out then and active in the LGBTQ community. Scholarships and Fellowships paid her way through Swarthmore and UC Berkeley Grad school and then there transitioned from L with her life partner to T and a legally and widely celebrated marriage to her. At the same time doing TA duty and such. Very out. Much more to praise. I, as a parent, could not be more proud.

Recommended.

:kick:

Wa Do

"You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose. You're on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the one who'll decide where to go..."
— Dr. Seuss (Oh, the Places You'll Go!)


Love to you and your pretty alright dad,

Heidi,
Proprietress,
The Abandoned Manual Typewriter Orphanage, Feline Oasis, and All-Around Fun Factory

Wonderful parent, wonderful child, wonderful story that shows how important it is to know and be proud of who you are.

I'm so happy for the two of you, and Allison does sound like someone to watch for in the future. :)

Congratulations!

congrats to you cherokeeprogressive :hi:

ASS KICKING, yes indeed.

Thanks. I can't wait til she comes home with me tomorrow and reads this thread.

and she towers me by six inches! Yes INDEED!!! :D

Without acceptance and support, many gay youth face a huge hurdle in achieving their potential.

The sad fact though is that you never understand how bad some kids have it in the context of what life is like until you have "skin in the game".

It seems like she's going to be a very vocal advocate. I could not be more proud.

done better. I had to wait for college to get that 4.0.

And congratulations to Allison and those who stood with her.

:applause:

:applause:

:kick:

What happened is wonderful, a real turn around. Congratulations to both of you and all concerned for an effort well done.

Please keep us up to date on your beloved Allison. All our hearts are with you and her!

Good for her!

I know you are proud of her accomplishments and sense of self.

Allison, you will do amazing things in your life.

Good for her, and good for you!

It ain't as easy as it looks! :)

Knowing her family loves her for her made all the difference in the world it seems and helped her love herself for who she is, giving her wings to soar!

I love your post, it is very heartening, thanks for posting this!

Recommended.

Congratulations to you, too.

How exciting is THIS?

:woohoo:

Thanks for sharing a part of your life that really made me smile. You did good.

:grouphug:

It really sounds like you're both lucky to have each other. :)

:kick:

'cause I do.

Awesome parent. Other kids should be so lucky...

I'm all tearing up here.

Blessings for you and Allison. This is just pure love celebrated!

Bless your family

You've only just begun, sweetheart! Congrats!
:yourock:

So much love in that post, you are both so luck to have one another. Congratulations to both of you!

Best wishes to your daughter and you.

my love to you and Allison (from someone whose brilliant kids didn't fit in and struggled to get through)

:)

Evidently every couple has a 30% chance of having a homosexual child --

so I think we're way low on numbers -- plus, we rarely discuss bisexuality --

and Kinsey's chart!!

This thread has made my day!

I've read so many stories about gay kids being kicked out by their parents and forced to live on the streets. You are some cool dad.

If you and Allison are looking for an on-line support group, you should check out Soulforce, which is a GLBT website. It carries news and discussion about GLBT issues. You can also post threads about anything else you want to discuss. For example, I once posted about health care reform.

The General Discussion forum is really great. People post there about what's happening in their lives and often ask for advice about coming out, relationships, etc.

People at Soulforce are so nice and supportive. They helped me get through something a couple of months ago, when I didn't have anyone else to talk to.

Best wishes to you and your family!

:woohoo:

(Mayfair High, eh? Lakewood High graduate here! Just down the street...sort of).

this is a wonderful story.

growing up is a hard thing to do no matter who you are. being a gay teen can make it just that much more difficult.

i'm so glad she has your complete support (of course, as a member of du i would expect nothing less actually :D )

i'm glad she stayed in school. i'm glad she's out and i'm glad she's decided to make the most of her grades.

this is a happy ending that i suspect is only the first of many happy endings/chapters in her life. and in yours.

i hope the two of you have a great summer--do lots of fun things together (along with some quiet/quality times) before she starts running off to college. (i miss those days with my daughter so very much--she's even doing summer theater and a class and a job down at school this summer. i won't see her till mid july. sigh.)

a hug to both of you!
:hug: :hug: :grouphug: :yourock: :applause: :woohoo: :rofl: :pals: :fistbump: :toast: :party:

:woohoo:

:woohoo: My one and only son just graduated Middle School .. I'm just so proud of him

and my eyes welled up reading this. Congratulations to her, may her future be bright, and never be covered by the shadows of the hatred of others.

Lots of Love to ya both!

What a great story. Thanks for sharing! K AND R!
:bounce: :hi: :hug:

life becomes much nicer when you no longer have to hide who you really are. Is she looking to go to college?

And Mom too, it's so great she has you as her mom.

I teach in an alternative high school, and we have many LBGT students. They feel safer in our school, and we do what we can to make sure they really are safe here and end up connecting with friends and have the freedom to be themselves, whoever that is today.

Good for her! Tell her that we're all proud of her accomplishments and just for being herself. :hug:

You raised a winner!!

Our oldest daughter just graduated two weeks ago and it's a wonderful feeling, but in your situation it must be extra special. :)

:toast: :fistbump: :yourock:












:kick: :kick: :kick: :kick: :kick: :kick: :kick: :kick:

Thank you so much for posting this. I never realized before how not feeling free to be yourself could affect a young person. I hope one day Allison will write about her experience, about her fear, and how she was able to overcome it. There are a lot of people who would benefit from reading her story.

Congrats on being a great parent!

Bravo to both! :applause:

Cheers!

I did not come out until well after I graduated. I did not dare for fear possibly of my life.

I am so glad to see change.

Hooray for you and hooray for Allison!

That is great. My little sis graduateded last week.

with the stress she must have felt, she deserves a lot of credit for completing it. Good to hear this, CP and have a wonderful life, both of you.

mark

Kids can be so cruel and nasty when a child is just one of those things..when someone is both, well, you and your daughter have my sympathies. Congratulations as well.

Allison, Congratulations! Excellent work on your academic success! Brava for having the courage to come out in high school. Thank you for forming a Gay/Straight Alliance in your school; I’m certain that it has benefitted many students, teachers, and parents (more people than you could ever know)…and that it will continue to benefit many people throughout the years. Best wishes to you in whatever endeavors you choose to pursue in the future!

Cherokeeprogressive, well done—you are the parent that many lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgendered people wish they had! Based on my personal experiences only, it seems to me that those who have a solid foundation of support from their parent(s) tend to thrive and excel in life, while those who are shunned by their family or offered only disingenuous lip service tend to struggle the most. A parent’s support matters. It means a great deal.

I recently agreed to be an special project/adjunct prof for a young man who told me his mother disowned him when he came out to her. They haven't communicated in 10 years. That is just inconceivable to me. (I mean, my daughter drove me batty with her behavior when she was an adolescent -- but disown a child of mine? Never.)

I didn't know any of his history when he asked whether I'd work with him, but from the start I've had a feeling that I may be learning more from him than he will from me, because he's using a whole vocabulary I'm not even familiar with ("Queer space" "Human geography" and so on). I'm looking forward to it.

Best wishes to your daughter :applause: :party: :toast:

Hekate