A quick way to end unwanted solicitation calls.

Some of my phones have caller ID capabilities. Others do not. Beyond that, sometimes it's hard to tell if a call is a solicitation or not, since many cell phones don't display proper caller ID information. So, I tend to answer the telephone when it rings.

As soon as I believe that a call is a solicitation, I immediately interrupt and say, "I'm sorry. I'm busy. What do you want, please?" This throws the caller off his or her script, and they cannot articulate what they want, so I simply hang up. I could hang up without saying that, but it's impolite to simply hang up on someone. Often, the caller will hang up immediately on having the script interrupted, too.

I could be ruder than that, but I also get business calls on that telephone.

I get at least 2 solicitations a day. I inform them I'm on the do not call list, and am reporting them.

They call again in a couple of months.

Now I use an airhorn. Fuck 'em.

and you can get like $25,000 damages, I know someone who has done this twice.

The problem with the Do Not Call list is all the people who are exempt:

Realtors
politicians
any company you do business with
any company offering you a service
charity organizations
state troopers fund
etc.

We get A LOT of calls from those companies who drive around picking up your stuff to sell in their store (goodwill, salvation army, etc.) - like literally 3-4 a week, but they are exempt from the Do Not Call list.

As soon as you are sure it is a solicitation, simply wait for them to draw breath and say "I do not accept telephone solicitation. Thank you."

Then hang up. Gently.

or coffee cup or kitchen counter.

"Hello? Hello? Hello?"

one of the funniest responses to a telemarketer.

http://www.dailyhaha.com/_vids/Tom_Mabe_Prank_Call.htm

I also knew an older gentleman who loved to get calls, he would wait for them to ask how he was and he would reply glad you asked that and then go into detail about all his aches & pains. He said it was more fun than watching a sitcom.

very funny

in Russian. That generally ends the call pretty quickly, too.

and in my deepest, growliest voice I answer "Dis iz sheeee". I almost have to tie a string around it to keep from PML as they fumble through the script. "Ya nye chuye ponyal tebya" is also a good answer...

but that picture of the morel sure has my mouth watering.

am not amused. Now I have to wait until next spring to go searching around the dead and dying trees in the nearby woods. Still, they're so good that I'll anticipate next year's crop all the more.

absolutely brilliant, I'm sending that to my Dad.

That's too funny!

Boojatta Services calling. No need to interrupt me, because I'm about to interrupt myself. I await your reply.

I enclosed the boxtops and carefully printed my information in block letters. But no Decoder Ring.

He just sent me this day before yesterday -- an oldie but a goodie:

1. If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for Bankruptcy and you could sure use some money.

2. If they start out with, "How are you today?" say, "Why do you want to know?" Or you can say, "I'm so glad you asked, because no one seems to care these days and I have all these problems, my sciatica is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog just died..." When they get try to get back to the sell, just continue your problems.

3. If they say they're Joe Doe from the XYZ Company, ask them to spell their name, then ask them to spell the company name, then ask them where it located. Continue asking them personal questions or questions about their company for as long as necessary.

4. This one works better if you are male: Telemarketer: "Hi, my name is Judy and I'm with Canter and Siegel services.... You: "Hang on a second." (few seconds pause) "Okay, (in a really husky voice) what are you wearing?"

5. Crying out, in well-simulated tones of pleasure and surprise, "Judy!! Is this really you? Oh, my gosh! Judy, how have you BEEN?" Hopefully, this will give Judy a few brief moments of terror as she tries to figure out where the hell she could know you from.

6. Say, "No", over and over. Be sure to vary the sound of each no, and keep an even tempo even as they're trying to speak. This is the most fun if you can keep going until they hang up.

7. If MCI calls trying to get you to sign up with their Family and Friends plan, reply, in a sinister a voice as you can muster, "I don't have any friends...would you be my friend?"

8. If they clean rugs: "Can you get blood out, you can? Well, how about goat blood or HUMAN blood.

9. Let the person go through their spiel, providing minimal but necessary feedback in the form of an occasional "Uh- huh, really, or "That's fascinating." Finally, when they ask you to buy, ask them to marry you. They get all flustered, but just tell them you couldn't give your credit card number to someone that's a complete stranger.

10. Tell them you work for the same company they work for. Example: Telemarketer: "This is Bill from Watertronics." You: "Watertronics!! Hey I work for them too. Where are you calling from?" Telemarketer: "Uh, Dallas, Texas." You: "Great, they have a group there too? How's business/the weather? Too bad the company has a policy against selling to employees! Oh well, see ya."

11. Answer the phone. As soon as you realize it is a telemarketer, set the receiver down, shout or scream, "Oh, my goodness!!!" and then hang up.

12. Tell the Telemarketer you are busy and if they will give you their phone number you will call them back. If they say they are not allow to give out their number, then ask them for their home number and tell them you will call them at home. (This is usually the most effective method of getting rid of Telemarketers)

Re: #11 - holding the phone away and saying "PUT THAT BUTCHER-KNIFE DOWN then emitting a blood-curdling scream is also quite effective. I've never had a repeat call on that. :rofl:

I say, "can I ask one question? What color are your panties"?

I so needed a laugh today. And it's also useful to hang on to for the telemarketers! :rofl:

There's no way I will ever answer a sales phone call and have to pay for it. For all out of area code calls, if I don't recognize the number I don't answer.

and most times they don't. Although I refuse to donate to some organizations. One calls regularly I told them I don't have the money donate to me. But they still call so when their number comes on the ID I don't answer. I get at least 20 calls a week from them. And what makes me mad is I have to go to the phone because I don't know if it is important, the doctors, the clinic or whatever. there should be some way these charity organizations could be made to stop.