You have kids, say - didn't you always know -

in the pit of your stomache - that when something was wrong - you knew.

Your kid breaks his arm or something and you knew to get out of that meeting and call home??

You can feel it is wrong - some psychic sense or something.

Don't we all feel this as parents??

This is a question.

Joe

Call him.

How we feel, especially strong emotions, affects our kids, even over great distances.

That you know when sometting is wrong - you feel it inside.

SOme part of you - you know something is wrong.

Patrice - I can't call him. It is not like he is hanging out at the end of a phone or something.

That is not what I am asking - I am asking -when something goes wrong with your kid - do you sense it??

Times before - it has happened for me - did it for others?? I want to know.

Joe

But then I'm the kind of person who starts worrying when I hear ambulance sirens somewhere in the distance.

Don't feed it Joe. Break the feedback loop somehow: exercise, go to a concert, go to a meeting and work with other people on something, go to IMAX or something like that.

You don't want to deplete your resources for IF he ever does NEED you.

Just four.

When my daughter fell off that damn horse, when my oldest broke his arm playing - basketball of all thing - when my second kid shattered his hip and now - that is all.

So you can understand, I conclude parents have some unnatural connection to their kids.

I feel it now.

Something is wrong.

Joe

I once spent long periods of time away from home due to work related stuff. I started having this sense that my eldest daughter (who I was very close to) was having some problem, and I kept telling my wife she needed to talk to her seriously, see how she was doing kind of thing. Make a long story short--turns out she was engaging in some pretty risky behavior, and my wife was avoiding dealing with it.

It ended up turning out ok in the long run; however, I had to get involved and encourage my wife to stay on top of it while I was gone.

I don't think anyone can say this about every situation, though. I don't know you, as it appears others do, and I don't want to confirm some bad intuition you are having...it is difficult to know how the mind operates in these areas.

Sorry, I realize I haven't been of much help...

I have been here before. And it has nothing to do with who they are marrying.

I have never had this feeling turn out ok - ever.

SOmething bad happened to the boy - and I don't care a hoot who he marries.

Why would I care??

Joe

There's a first time for everything.

You've never had a kid in war before. You've never been faced with this kind of situation. You could conceivably be wrong this time.

"I have never had this feeling turn out ok - ever."

I've read that you had that feeling before and he was fine.

You are worrying yourself to death and I can't say that I blame you.

It's a knawing, uneasiness. A painful churning in your stomach.

The not knowing can drive one crazy!

Bad news about things happening near where your or my son was....

.... the tears and fears and jitters and worry....

I hope this whole mess is over soon and he comes home to stay.

I hope he e-mails you or calls home, if he can, to give you some relief.

:hug: :cry:

But I do now.

I sure hope you re right - and I am trying to brace for the other reality.

I am going home - I will not allow for my dear wife to do this thing. I have been prepared for this most of my life.

Joe

Joe

:thumbsup: :thumbsup: Maybe that'll mean less hazardous duties for him. Could be! ;)

For a specific example: last year my then-three-and-a-half-year-old wandered out of the school building and was found across the street. I had no idea until I was called.

of my stomache was some undigested thing I ate for lunch. Really.

But I know - everytime I had such feelings my kids got hurt. Every one of them.

I can't shake this -

I am not looking for more than that which is true.

WHen your kids were in trouble - did you know??

Joe

I knew when something was going wrong with my kids. Sometimes; but not always. And I know that "sense" you are talking about.

no.

The man's son is in Baghdad. I'd agree with you if it were any other situation...

He is 3/2 - two tours north and this one south.

Quite correct.

Joe

PS: I don't mean to sound trite.

easy to mock when you're not in their situation.

It works both ways with us.

If you're concerned enough it'll flow the other way and maybe you'll be receiving a call to let you know everything is okay.

:thumbsup:

nothing serious has ever happened to either of my kids; however, once upon a time, a long time ago, I remember a weird feeling - like a realization that came out of nowhere that made me think my Dad wasn't going to live to be an old man, and a month or so later, he died of a heart attack in his sleep at age 52.
In a strange way, I was kind of glad the feeling crossed my mind, because I had time to make sure he knew how much I loved him. Now I do that with my kids every day. That's really all you can do, but I'm thinking I don't have to tell you that - I suspect your son knows just how much you love him.

Very decent of you.

Joe

they have. I hope this is a false alarm.

On edit:

I hope you find out one way or another soon. The unknown can be so much worse than the known.

You are all invited to his mass. Cause probably I won't be able to say that then.

But you will. And you are.

And - probably - I am wong - isn't it?? Probably??

You guys were a vent to me - you really were. I said stuff that was so horrible - I would cut me off. You have no idea how much I didn't believe some of it - but I knew the metaphor. I knew what I wanted to say I couldn't,

Thank you guys,

Joe

You know he is in a very bad place and you are helpless to do anything. You are stressed out (and for good reason). But remember the reality that most come home relatively okay and in one piece. You need to stay positive and try not to make yourself sick. Your boy needs you to stay strong and not fall apart. Turn off the news and don't read the war posts for a little while.

Other then that: We are all here for each other and there are plenty here to vent when you need to. Better here then have it build up.

:hugs:

I don't prepare for the best case.

It is this math that bothers me - He had no more than a 50-50 chance of coming out of there whole.

ANd I didn't have such a feeling the first couple times - and I do now.

Joe

I have kids and though they aren't old enough to enlist, I do have a brother over there. It's very hard to keep positive and you really have to avoid obsessing on the news. If I read or watch to much I get really upset. Just try to think positive and maybe put energy into thinking up neat packages to send him. Keep your mind on the positive as much as you can and when it gets rough, turn to someone here or offline who understands and just let the tears flow for a while.

Many hugs, you are in my thoughts.

It is a feeling.

I hope your brother is ok.

Joe

He is better off then most though, since he is a mid-level officer. I know your feelings are scary, just don't let them over-whelm you to the point you can't breathe. Is there a ombudsman or someone like that that you can check on him with? Just to ease your mind?

There is no way to talk to him when there is an "anxiety attack" - or whatever.

You don't know what scary means man.

Joe

You should e-mail him a letter or hand write him a letter! Do it now!
Send him an e-mail greetings card or pack him up a care package.
Go take some pics of the area where you live and send them to him!
My son loved getting pics from home. Not just of people but of nature.
Do you have a digital camera? Maybe he'd enjoy some pics from home!
Keep busy, turn off the TV and put on some soothing music instead.
Have a cup of tea....

I'm just trying to give you some ideas to try and get through. I really feel for you and your family. My brother commands a navy logistical support battalion. I know his chances are way better then the guys under him. But I also know how much he cares about every one of those men and women, so I hope he is successful in making sure they all come home. My Pms are always open :)

If your son wouldn't find packages from strangers to wierd, I''d love to put something together for him. I still have the lists of good stuff to send from when my army friends were there.

I do know that what you are describing is real, though. I hope that soon you hear from him that everything is okay.

Like another poster, I worry when I hear sirens in the distance or of an accident on the freeway where one of my family members might be. Can't even imagine the anxiety of having a child that I knew was in harm's way.

Like I said he is a true Sgt now -

Great - he gets more guns at his funeral??

I don't know the future - I just know I don't like it.

Right??

Joe

:hug:

This is the best I can do.

an hour and a half last week while I was at the doctor. Wish I had gotten a psychic memo though, to beat the bus to the house. :(

Hugs and positive thoughts for you and Sgt. Troy. As parents, we sometimes get caught up in our fears and worries for our children (they are always our 'children' ... even when they are Sgt's.) and will psyche ourselves out. I hope this is just one of those run away emotional moments.

Keep us posted ... and vent as needed. :hug:

And I fear something else.

Thank you,

Joe

But I don't have a psychic sense. Wish I did.

I've had plenty of those feelings with my 3 kids. Many were right, but there were times and still are times when those feelings are just my fears.

My grandmother said she had them for her son when he was in the Navy in WWII. She bolted up out of a deep sleep, having dreamt of just awful things that had happened to his ship. She always knew her dreams were her internal warning system.

Grandma told us that back then it took a while to hear news or get letters, etc.., and she went plumb crazy for a time. When she finally did get news, she found out that the ship had been bombed.BUT. That my uncle has survived, but most did not. He's alive to this day.

Soo, yes we respected her dreams, or 'feelings' as she learned to do as well. But, in her case her son was in an awful situation, and came out unscathed.

I'd consider this as a distinct possibility. That he may have had a close call, but that indeed he could be very alive and well.

Im being as honest as I can, and as hopeful as I can be too. Intuition is very powerful, but my biggest hope for you is to know, and soon. Not knowing is the worst!!!

Hugs!!

except to assure you that these sensations can definitely be wrong. I don't know you except through our brief "conversation" but I will certainly be thinking positive thoughts for you and your son. I hope you realize, following our PM, that you are welcome to contact me at any time, just to vent, whatever.

I think this is a fear all parents can relate to in one way or another.

About Sgt. Troy: You said he was 3/2; is that 3/2 Marines, or 3/2 ACR? Both are OUTSTANDING units, highly competent, well, well, trained, and they definitely take care of their own. I can only speak for the Marines because both my uncle and my best friend were in that unit, and spoke exceptionally highly of it.

I was in 3/2 ACR, and I know of their abilities, training level and competence (exceptionally high) and loyalty to each other.

Get some exercise, remember to eat healthy (even if you don't feel like it) don't wall yourself off from your friends and those who care about you. Drink lots of water. Try to do something you normally take pleasure in.

No, none of these will erase the fear, but they will allow your mind/body to better deal with the stress you are feeling.

Wish there was something else I could do. :thumbsup: :hug:

adso's letter

So far, I've been wrong every time. But I've only been a parent for 17 years, so what do I know?