This is pretty special. President Obama called Janice Langbehn and apologized

http://www.washingtonmonthly.com/archives/individual/2010_04/023366.php

OVERDUE PROGRESS ON HOSPITAL VISITATION RIGHTS.... The Obama administration has taken some important steps over the last year on gay rights, but arguably none is more important than the change announced last night.



Because nearly every American hospital receives at least some federal funding, the policy change is expected to have a significant national impact. It will not be immediate -- HHS will begin a rule-making process -- but the shift is expected to take effect later this year.

The change was reportedly inspired, at least in part, by the ordeal a Florida family endured in 2007. Lisa Pond was stricken with a fatal brain aneurysm, and partner of 18 years, Janice Langbehn, and their four adopted children, were prohibited from seeing her. Langbehn had power of attorney for Pond, but officials still refused. Pond died before her loved ones were even allowed into her hospital room.

Last night, President Obama called Langbehn to tell her about his administration's new policy. "I was so humbled that he would know Lisa's name and know our story," Langbehn told the NYT. "He apologized for how we were treated. For the last three years, that's what I've been asking the hospital to do. Even now, three years later, they still refuse to apologize to the children and I for the fact that Lisa died alone."

more...

http://www.washingtonmonthly.com/archives/individual/2010_04/023366.php

in their last moments. This is extremely important and hopefully the President keeps making progress on these issues for gay rights....DADT being next (I hope).

I am so proud of how he represents.

Barack is still about the best specimen of a president I've seen in my lifetime (and I'm not young).

it is the reason I'm a democrat and it gives me back some hope in our human nature.

But definitely not little.

Because even a legal piece of paper can and probably will be challenged by those who hate us.

:cry::)

to have the legal papers in order in advance. This memorandum says such directives have to be followed, but without them there is no recourse. This memorandum, as nice as it is, does not create any new rights, and the moments we are talking about are far too important to mess around with political spin. It is good, but it is not the solution, which is of course equality, all discrimination simply illegal.
"This memorandum is not intended to, and does not, create any right or benefit, substantive or procedural, enforceable at law or in equity by any party against the United States, its departments, agencies, or entities, its officers, employees, or agents, or any other person."

Know the facts and be prepared, for the sake of yourself and your loved ones.

get an automatic K&R

Straight, and standing in solidarity...

There is still much work to be done but this is great news.

I'm so glad that change has come to America!

knowing their name.

He's a very busy guy, and a considerate one. That counts for a lot.

Nothing at all sick about feeling humbled in a situation like this....very normal and unpretentious reaction.

Being on the receiving end of deep compassion IS very humbling, regardless of where it comes from.

For me, to see this, that this leader is capable of extending such deep compassion, of caring about one's responsibility as a leader to those he serves, and taking such personal action, is VERY moving, and yes, humbling. (humbling as in, as fabulous as I consider myself to be, I see a LOT to learn from this man.)

a guy apologizing for a wrong he didn't commit, just because he thinks it's the right thing to do?

her ordeal has happened to others as well and he personally decided to call her? Because Obama is a very busy man and still made a few minutes to call someone when he really didn't have to? Because it shows he's human? He's not above anyone else? Because the President of the United States apologized for the hurt the (previous) laws inflicted on her family?

I've been vocal about the Obama admin and do not always agree with his decisions, but I'm giving credit when credit is due.

:thumbsup:

The beauty of this story is that two compassionate people joined together, pardon was asked and sincerely given, no one was haughty or defensive, and healing occurred and continues to occur because of it. We're far more likely to continue that healing by standing back and appreciating that process than by degrading it.

maybe with the hell she's been through and having the president of the USA call you, her choice of wording was off and maybe she'd now say she meant to say she was shocked and touched, or maybe it's exactly what she meant to say!

what kind of world do we live in where your 1st thought is about how fucking sick it makes you she said she was humbled?

compassionate...

Why wouldn't you be?

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Hospital policies are archaic. I understand limiting the number of visitors in ICU but that's as far as it goes (unless the patient specifically asks that someone not be admitted).

When I had my first child, her father was told to go home while I was in labor, because it would be a "long wait". He wasn't allowed in the labor OR delivery room. Those policies have changed and it's long past time for the rest of them to be changed too.

Especially dying people, I would have thought that was one time any wish of any kind would be granted if at all possible. I cannot imagine they denying a dying person the right to see anybody at all for any reason.

I recall being chased off from seeing babies/mothers, too! Though that has liberalized considerably.

The dying person isn't requesting the visitation, because they're dying and unable to actually request it.

What happens is the homophobic parents of an unconscious, dying person tell the hospital to not let a long-term partner visit the dying person. Theoretically, a power of attorney would overrule the parents, but some hospitals have been siding with the parents instead (or it's an emergency situation and there isn't time to retrieve the power of attorney). You have to be a pretty sick individual to go against the written wishes of someone you are supposed to care for, but that's where we are.

This new rule will help cut down on the evil a bit.

Though completely not applicable with a power of attorney in hand in this specific case.

But if a power of attorney is not at hand and there is no legal binding between the patient and a visitor - then the hospital would have to consider you a random stranger that walked in from the street.

This is where the lack of marriage rights for same sex couples hit me right in the heart. I have plenty of logical reasoning besides that - but this effect is just inhumane on a completely separate level.

"Officials", on the other hand, are scum

How sick!

Here's the CNN interview with Anderson Cooper I watched last night. http://www.cnn.com/2010/POLITICS/04/15/hospital.gay.visitation/index.html

And way to go President Obama - one of the many many reasons I voted for you.

in this country are guided by evil. To tell a spouse of a dying woman that is beyond comprehension. They truly HATE Gay people just because they think it's "sinful". I still cannot believe they actually told her this... sick bastards. They'll answer for their hate one day.

a tinker's damn WHAT they personally think-they must legally honor a legal document like a health care power of attorney whether they want to or not. Period. The fact that so many hospital officials, medical personnel and social workers put their own personal feelings ahead of a legal document, and are still LEGALLY allowed to get away with it, is what is truly sickening. I still can't believe the federal court dismissed this woman's case. The hospital was NOT within its legal rights to do what it did. It doesn't matter what its reasoning was, the bottom line was it did not follow a legal document that it was required to follow under the law. There's still a lot of work to do in obtaining even basic legal fairness in this regard.

We need to do all we can to keep more right wingers our of power of any kind - they are too destructive to OUR country.

mark

that's pretty sick, too. Was it just because it was a gay couple or would they do that with a straight one, too? They wouldn't have any way of knowing, so they wouldn't do it to them.

Straight couples prevent this issue via marriage. That gives the spouse the right to control medical care. In the absence of a marriage parents have control, and in these cases the parents are evilly homophobic. Since gay couples can't marry in most states, they do not have protection against this.

Theoretically, a power of attorney and other legal documents would grant the gay spouse control, but some hospitals have been ignoring the documents and letting homophobic parents have control. A recent lawsuit on this was decided for the _hospital_, under the legal theory that they don't have to follow what's spelled out in the power of attorney.

Even though I am part of a heterosexual couple, my decisions about my end of life care are very different than my husband's. This decision worries me since it seems that under this ruling my husband could over ride my directives or the instructions of my health advocate - who I have chosen to be other than my husband because of our differing philosophies.

On the other hand, that means that no matter what my husband puts down, I can over ride his wishes to do what I consider reasonable and proper, rather than his choices. But I still this court decision is wrong.

And for those who are confused by what I said above - I do not believe in uselessly prolonging life if there is brain death or only a life of agony. My dear husband believes in prolonging life as long as their is a flicker of it left in the body. As I said, I have chosen a health care advocate who holds the same philosophy as I do. In the last fifteen years, every time I have gone in for an operation, I make sure the doctor and the surgical center have a copy of my health care directive and health advocate forms - and make sure that they understand that if things went terribly wrong, my husband is NOT the person to make the big decisions.

I have warned my husband that he needs to pick an advocate to stand up for his wishes since I will be very tempted to let him go if he is past all hope and in pain. I don't think he has so far.

:patriot: :cry:

More of the same, please. :patriot:

This story really broke my heart. :(

hospital should be held up to public ridicule for the rest of their sorry lives.

Rec.

not only losing your life partner but then being denied seeing her :(

I am so glad Obama called her :)

by that story to change the rules...and to make a personal call to express his regrets about the situation
that Lisa and Janice had to endure.

hospital did to a dying woman and her family. Pigs. :grr: May karma bring it back around to them.

It was so thoughtful of President Obama to call Janice. It's just like him to do that.

:grouphug:

Makes me sadder to think that the People who were barring the children and partner from seeing Lisa in her final hours actually believed that they loved her, how pathetic.

can the rest of this country start getting some shred of humanity. This is gut-wrenching, heart breaking to the core and so unfathomable..

"I said at the time of lisa’s death with one stroke of a pen, the coroner in FL took away our 18yrs by listing lisa as single, never married, but today with a stroke of the pen, the President recognized – we were a couple deserving of all the same rights of straight Americans."

On the opposite end of the political spectrum, I have encountered some at DU who claim that this President is "homophobic" or "anti-gay". It just demonstrates how much differing perspectives alters objective reality.

him Gay. big surprise. they are knuckledraggers and I won't really count on seeing them in heaven when I go.

a few who somehow found a way to blame the President for that. Who can let no story go by without assigning some shortcoming to Obama, not only regardless of whether he deserves it or not, but regardless of relevancy, fairness, or even how deranged it makes them look.

There are lots of idiots on all sides of the political spectrum.

It warms my heart that Mr. Obama did such a thing. It shows that there's more to this man than what we know. At heart, he is very down to earth.

It is such actions like this that makes me proud that this man is my president instead of the one who presided before him, *.

To laugh often and much; To win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; To earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; To appreciate beauty, to find the best in others; To leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch, or a redeemed social condition; To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded.

Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803 - 1882)

Thank you President Obama

Thanks for the reminder.

Finally after 8 long years of asshat, we now have a President we can be proud of.

'Next-of-Kin' does not mean that is the person most qualified to be there at your last moments on earth.

What if that was a husband who was beating his wife and she was in the hospital

What if it was someone who was not speaking with their parents and preferred their partner, regardless of sexual orientation in the room.

People have the rights to make these choices not hospital policies.

who is a dear person so long as we do not talk about politics AT ALL once posited that Gay and Lesbian couples do not need marriage to enable them to have the same rights as hetero couples, especially in this situation....all they need is a DPOA or DMPOA (we work in health care and deal with such matters) - Well, here is a case where the couple actually planned ahead for the worst and it did not do a damn thing for them.

I emailed this article to her, with love.

Thanks for posting.

:thumbsup: