Attention 5-21ers on this board.

I am ready and willing to take all of the money and objects of monetary value that you will no longer need in 9 days. In exchange for this, I promise to look after your plants, assuming they are not raptured as well.

It is your duty to give me these objects, these pieces of paper with numbers and faces printed on them, those shiny baubles of crystallized carbon or refined element 79. In doing so you are increasing your chances in heaven by being more holy. (Mark 10:24)

I take checks, cash, and PayPal. PM me.

It's bad enough dealing with the anti-vaxers and the 9-11 "truthers".

December 21, 2012 -- Accept No Substitutes!:nuke:

screeching that they're being persecuted by mean people pointing out that their batshit-crazy beliefs are in fact batshit-crazy.

Again.

Maybe a three-bedroom ranch house. And a John Deere X300.

And a shitload of P.A. equipment over at the local Mega Bapto-Dome church. That sucker lights it up for 6000 droolers every Sunday and maybe half that on Wednesday nights.

become an atheist, and be so horny he must fuck the first gay dude he sees. I plan on being that gay dude!

Don't forget, they can't vote anymore.

Winning.

Behold, I am come unto you as the true custodian of all of your, uh, stuff and whatnot.

All zero of you will be richly rewarded in the hereafter, and your plants will be well-watered and fertilized with Miracle-Gro.

Everyone knows that's when Empire Strikes Back came out!

Animals don't get raptured. Makes you wonder, then, why humans do ;)

even empty ones. I suggest we begin to "de-construct" these excess houses, and re-use the materials elsewhere. Some we can also use to house the homeless.

We may have to shut down various industrial plants, too, because the demand for their services and products won't be so high any longer :)

And don't forget all the farms, restaurants, and livestock.:) And the safes.

would use safes. So, just search the mattresses :P

Good idea.

Gotta re-populate somehow!


Ladies.... *waggles eyebrows*



On a more serious note, if this DID happen, this would be a perfect time to bring in all the people from the drought-stricken starving countries. Like Sam Kininson said...


"You want to help stop world hunger? Stop sending them food. Don't send them another bite, send them U-Hauls. Send them a guy that says, "You know, we've been coming here giving you food for about 35 years now and we were driving through the desert, and we realized there wouldn't BE world hunger if you people would live where the FOOD IS! YOU LIVE IN A DESERT!! UNDERSTAND THAT? YOU LIVE IN A FUCKING DESERT!! NOTHING GROWS HERE! NOTHING'S GONNA GROW HERE! Come here, you see this? This is sand. You know what it's gonna be 100 years from now? IT'S GONNA BE SAND!! YOU LIVE IN A FUCKING DESERT! We have deserts in America, we just don't live in them, assholes!"

Him and Bill Hicks, too :D



:rofl:

I already called dibs!!!!

awful furniture, wear bigger sizes than me and have no taste in clothing and have worse cars than I do at present. Monday is my birthday; does anyone know where I can meet a nice guy with maybe a Camaro convertible and a credit card at Anna Sui?

Hey, it could happen...

There has to be an excuse for being late with the child support yet again!:sarcasm:

lots of people bragging about how their prayers warded off Armageddon :)

:popcorn: