Happy Christmas from Ron and Nancy

Happy Christmas from Ron and Nancy
Posted on May 16, 2011 by sarahproudandtall

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..................Nancy and Ronnie and I were seated at the table in the garden when the guests arrived en masse - W wide eyed and giggling a little when he said hello to Ronnie, Lynne eyeing off the cutlery, and Dick gurgling as usual when he walked as the bile and shit and other viscous fluids redistributed themselves within his carapace. Barb and Nancy managed to shake hands without biting each other, which was a nice change.

I had the butler hand out the special drinks which I had prepared - bright-green vodka gimlets with Grammy’s special garnishes. The cheap vodka, of course - I was scarcely going to waste Nancy's good stuff on that lot. I was going to slip some Valium into Laura’s glass, but she had pre-anesthetized herself, so it hardly seemed worth the bother. Not much was getting past her pink haze, although she still flinched, just a tiny bit, whenever W spoke. We sat her at our end of the table and gave her a spoon to look at and she seemed quite happy.

The Ipecac and Dulcolax Slings I’d made for Lynne and Barb took them out of the equation pretty damn quickly. W and Dick and Rove were all seated around Ronnie and were laughing about the invasion of Iraq and how they were going to find the WMDs any day now. The butler had only just put the shrimp cocktails on the table when suddenly Lynne made a face like a cow having a special visit from the vet, leapt from her chair and ran off in the wrong direction. Barb was standing up and laughing like a drain until, in mid guffaw, she vomited so hard it came out her nose. She headed off across the garden too, crashed into Lynne and then they both fell into the pool, spurting all the while from every orifice.

The secret service boys fished them out eventually and that was the last we heard of either of them for the rest of the day. No one else seemed particularly concerned. Nancy said something about hoping that the shrimp were ok, nodded at me happily and went on chatting to Bush Senior.


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the rest of the story (snarky snark snark):
http://sarahproudandtall.com/2011/05/16/happy-christmas-from-ron-and-nancy/

some of the other tales are very funny too....

and i had to put her on my facebook friends list.