The Tao of planting asparagus (to deal with disappointment)

Tao ("dou", noun):

1. In Chinese philosophy, the absolute principle underlying the universe, combining within itself the principles of yin and yang and signifying the way, in harmony with the natural order.

2. In Confucianism, the right manner of human activity and virtuous conduct seen as stemming from universal criteria and ideals governing right, wrong, and other categories of existence.
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Good early cool blackberry winter morning, all y'all. I was up at 4:00 am this morning in my Tennessee deep hollow home, hoping and praying that my Higher Power (Mother Nature) would spare me an unusually late killing frost that threatened when I went to bed last night. A week ago last Thursday, we had one of those, three weeks later than usual. I spent the late afternoon and early evening the day before collecting loose straw from an obliging neighbor (whose barn had been blown down weeks earlier in another of the powerful storm systems that continue to rake the South these years) to cover my red and white potatoes and to anchor the paper and plastic bags that I used to cover my young tomatoes, peppers and basil. When I awoke the next morning, there was a sheet of glare ice on my pick-um-up truck's windows, thick enough to obstruct my view. The straw and leaf mulch that filled the walkways between my planted rows crackled and crunched with the heavy frost underneath my bare feet as I walked through the Garden that morning. But by 10:00 am, when the sun finally showed his face in my deep hollow and it was safe to look, underneath those thrown-together natural and man-made blankets were snug, happy and still-alive young plants, every single one of them smiling up at me.

Last night, however, it was a different story. In the intervening two weeks, everything in the Garden (particularly the tomatoes and potatoes) had grown much bigger, fed by my farmer's footprints and the gift of aged mule manure given by another neighbor. There were also now small sweet corn shoots sticking their slender green snouts above-ground from the first of four succession plantings; joining the tender cotyledons of purple hull peas, Kentucky Wonder pole beans, Straight 8 cucumbers and yellow crookneck squash. In short, everything was too tall and too abundant to blanket the Garden again. So I went to bed last night, hoping that the cloud cover would continue, that this last, very late frost of blackberry winter would be held at bay.

Before I brewed my quart of coffee this morning, I first took my flashlight to the front porch deck and checked my thermometer there. Even though it was cool enough to see my breath and to watch those breath-clouds swirl as my trio of brown bats played their morning game of tag flying round and round my house (missing me sometimes by a millimeter, close enough almost to feel their wings), I knew from the feel of the air on my bare skin that Mother Nature had played her part last night, had spared me the grief of an untimely mass die-off in my Garden. The thermometer read 42 degrees, which likely meant high 30s in the Garden. Close, but not close enough to break the life-hold therein. Close, but not close enough to stop its progress, its march toward fulfillment that will full-fill my belly and those of neighbors and friends who will share its bounty soon enough.

Of course, even a killing frost would not have left me empty-bellied. There are other plants growing in the Garden who can survive anything short of a hard freeze, plants that have been growing well there for almost two months now – red and green cabbage, red, white and yellow onions, cauliflower, broccoli, beets, turnips, spinach, radishes. And my newest and most permanent addition to the Garden – my first-ever raised-bed row of asparagus.

I'm not sure why I've never planted asparagus before in my four decade old organic Garden, because I love the taste of those long tender purple-and-green shoots, steamed with a little butter or, better yet, eaten raw within a few seconds of their harvest. For whatever reason, though, I had never planted asparagus before. Until, in the aftermath of a major new disappointment, they had waved at me from the shelf at my local farmer's co-op, packets that contained a dozen desiccated masses of dry roots, smiling and whispering "Take us home."

And so I did, buying three packets of the plants, soaking them overnight to let those roots swell up, their root-hairs turning bright red where, before, they had been dull brown. Digging a trench in the short raised bed, close to the house near one of my compost piles, across from the other perennial bed of spearmint and lemon balm. Then spending each early morning on my knees, trying to discern a new, unfamiliar life-form unfolding from the soil amidst the weed seedlings that I know too well. It took a few weeks for the first tentative asparagus shoot to show and, when it did, I tenderly encircled it with compost to mark its place in the bed. Day after day, other shoots appeared and, with each new arrival, another ring of compost marked its place. Now those single shoots are small, slender circles of foot-tall fern-like plants, strong enough to withstand real frosts and foregone ones, tender enough to keep me busy feeding and protecting them, too soon to harvest (that will take a year or two) but not too soon to admire and marvel. To give thanks.

I bought those asparagus plants on April Fool's Day, after picking up an unexpected package from my small town post office, turning in my notice slip for a large manila envelope labeled "US Department of Justice". In that envelope, crammed together in an unkempt pile, was my application for a Presidential pardon for my medical cannabis conviction. The 26 page application itself, along with my resume, several of my publications about reducing alcoholism in Indian country and methamphetamine abuse in Cowboy country, a copy of "UNCOUNTED: The New Math of American Elections" (in which I appear) and, most precious of all, the 175 support letter submitted on my behalf (when only three were required). It all was all there. It appeared that the only thing the Pardon Office had done was take that material out of the boxes in which it had been submitted and shove everything into a plain brown, government-issue envelope, returned to sender perhaps with timing intended to make me feel the fool.

There was only one thing new in that pile of paper – a one-page cover letter rejecting my pardon application as premature. It seems that my four year probation sentence (later reduced to two) had actually been a prison sentence, unbeknownst to me and to my federal judge. The Pardon Office had decided that my time in a halfway house as part of my probation punishment had actually been prison time because it was "confinement", even though the sentencing guidelines used by my judge said that time was "in lieu of imprisonment". This distinction is important because the pardon guidelines state that persons who receive a prison sentence must wait five years from their release from prison to apply for a pardon while persons receiving probation sentences can count their five year waiting period from the date of their sentence. It has been 6 ½ years since my sentencing date but only four years since my release from the "house". So my application was premature, according to some faceless fed in Washington, and it will have to gather dust until next May, when I will be allowed to resubmit it.

Nowhere in the pardon instructions, nowhere in the bowels of the USDOJ web-site, is this distinction made apparent, or even mentioned. In the aftermath, in the several emails that passed between the Pardon Office and me, I was told by a Pardon Office attorney that this distinction (this unwritten rule) is made clear when petitioners contact their office. On the contrary, a half dozen emails had gone between me and them before I had submitted the pardon application and in none of them was this "probation is really prison, at least in your case" message imparted. Of course, I knew enough (as a former federal official myself) to know that questioning their judgment (and their integrity) would get me nowhere.

So I did the next best thing. I bought some asparagus plants.

As I've spent my time since on my knees, watching the new life awaken in its new world, I've had lots of time to think about all of this and what it all means. I knew going in that no one – no one – has ever received a Presidential pardon for a medical cannabis conviction. I knew that there are likely many reasons for this, at least some of them as irrational as our continued war on "illegal smiles" itself. But I also knew that if someone didn't plant the seeds, we would never be blessed by the bounty that science, common sense and compassion will bring us when we finally reach the end of this, our nation's longest and most costly war.

Being the constant gardener that I am, I was happy to plant the seeds. But being an experienced gardener as well, I knew enough to plant those seeds not in one but in several places: in the halls of governments in four states, nineteen of whose leaders wrote support letters for me; in the country stores and cafes surrounding my farm so that my neighbors could learn what I was attempting and lend their own voices, prayers and support letters to the effort; in the hearts of my friends, some who've been with me every step of this journey and others who have only recently climbed on board. I even planted seeds in the minds of several California attorneys I met recently at the NORML convention in Denver, encouraging them to file pardon petitions also for their own medical cannabis convict clients, all of whom are as deserving (if not more so) than me.

Those seeds are sprouting now, I am confident of that, as I type these words to you. I know that in my heart and in my soil-stained fingers, just as surely as I know that my Garden will keep feeding me and others if I will only do my part, that work that I do best on my knees, watching for new life to arrive. These days, as we enter another beautiful spring, new life is arriving in abundance and I am doing my part. Sometimes my part is simply to replace a bale of spoiled straw atop a beautiful young female skunk's nest that I had uncovered by mistake, returning her home to peaceful and protective darkness before she felt the need to protect her young black-and-white kittens by covering me with her scent. Sometimes my part is simply to move quietly and slowly so as not to spook a wild young hen turkey who is helping herself (and me) by eating stray weed seeds and bugs in my Garden. Sometimes my part is to be persistent in working for a long-overdue correction of our ship of state when it comes to our punitive policies against a healing plant.

And sometimes my part is simply to be patient and, in so doing, to be present in this moment. Because, as I am learning now, if I can wait two more years for my first full plate of asparagus from the Garden, I can wait another "minute" for my government to pardon me. Or not.

Lord knows, all y'all (and many more besides) did that a long time ago.

And for that, I am eternally thankful.

Now back to the Garden. Peace out. Y'all come.

that led you to need the medical marijuana. Chronic pain is no fun. I've had my bouts with endometriosis and I know pain can really sour a person's mood.

I wish you good health and peace and a good crop of asparagus in two years and hopefully a pardon somewhere in that time too.

We just put the crowns in, and not deep enough. They grew anyway. We cover them with soil every year. You do nothing but watch for year one. In year two, you can pick a few stalks but only from crowns with several. Avoid picking the ones that branch like trees (the ferns). Year three you can pick all you want. We're in year four or five now (forget which) and have more than we can use. Still, we don't pick the ones that begin to branch. They turn into the trees and produce the berries and ultimately provide the strength for the crown. The berries have created new crowns both in and out of the bed. We're letting the stray crowns mature before we transplant them into the correct bed.

If you put in more crowns, consider getting the purple asparagus. It is much more vigorous than the green and produces thicker stalks that are just as tender and sweet as the thin ones.

On Edit: I love just sitting out by the asparagus forest when it is in all of its glory. It is sort of magical.

I expect my Garden will enjoy more male company besides just me.

My eldest daughter was in elementary school. She drew something that looked remarkably like an erect penis and showed it to my mother. My mother looked it over, got a little flustered, and said, "that looks like a.. a... an ASPARAGUS!" It has been a running joke ever since.

"Why, that looks like a penis ... only bigger."

Okay, it actually is, but I am obligated to say that I'm not amused.

.... I found a treatise on growing it here (north Texas) online. I followed his instructions carefully and every crown sprouted!

It will be hard to wait two more years to harvest, but worth it.

Meanwhile we are growing okra, watermelon, yellow squash, beans, tomatos, corn and cantaloupe. I plan to eat all of these THIS year :)

What part of north Texas? I lived in Tyler for two years after getting my first graduate degree at UT-Austin in the mid-70s, before I moved to DC to be in the Carter administration. (I know -- I am an old fart.)

Good time to be in Austin -- Armadillo World Headquarters, Hippie Hollow on Lake Austin, etc, etc.

.... to the Texoma area last year. This is our first spring so our first garden. This one is not that big, next year it will be a lot bigger.

It has already survived some really heavy rain and a nasty hailstorm. At least it came out better than our cars did :)

Sorry about the 'appeal' but it sounds like you are doing well. Love reading about your garden; starting mine this week.

Wishing you continued success.

.

My first time. Saw the old men sitting on the store porch. Beautiful country. Maybe next year you can post a celebration thread.

Believe you me.

drive down just about any gravel road and someone will be picking asparagus or mushrooms. there used to be over a thousand acres of asparagus grown commercially around here but now i noticed it`s imported from south america.

Blackberries (much tastier than tame varieties, with much smaller seeds) and black raspberries (we call 'em "black-caps") that are also tasty but way smaller than my Jewel tame black raspberries that really are a treat.

Speaking of which, I was up in my acre+ of blueberries yesterday and noticed that the plants are groaning with developing fruit. This will be the best blueberry year to date, thanks to some of that neighbor's aged mule manure and the 1,000+ bags of leaves that I got by driving through south Nashville neighborhoods in the late fall, already bagged by the homeowners and ready to be put to good use. The leaves make an excellent acidic mulch that also helped choke out the perennial weeds around the berries.

Mother Nature provides, if we'll only take a "minute" to learn her lessons and collect her leavings.

to produce "aged mule manure?"

Can you grow spaghetti?

--imm

Both of them work well on the Garden, if it is allowed to sit around long enough to have some of the "juice" drained out of it.

And yes, I can grow spaghetti. It comes in a squash -- actually pretty tasty with the right pesto sauce slathered all over it.

asparagus bed many years ago, when we had our farm in West Virginia. Like you I stepped lightly and kept the weeds out and away from those first fragile, most amazing green I've ever seen shoots. I tended that bed for three years but was never able to enjoy the fruits of my labor as I separated from my spouse and moved away.

I bought my house in southern California, some 19 years later, primarily because there was an established asparagus bed in a neglected raised bed in the back yard. It was waiting for me.

You will harvest a pardon with your asparagus.

It's so hard to find good asparagus in the stores. It's usually all dried out and worthless on salads.

-Hoot

A friend and I were discussing "blackberry winter" just last night.

What a world.

Thanks for the beautifully written peak into your garden and life.

Nourishing, in fact. It felt like I was there with you.

Like so many others, I continue to believe that a pardon will come your way. You are indeed a very constant gardener.

I still can't believe how horribly our country has treated you over this whole thing. Least you have asparagus. :)

Take care Bernie.

and, if I already have, it should have been emphasized: you are an amazing man and it's a privilege to know you. That post is exquisite.

:hug:

Interesting concepts. Probation and a half way house are prison. scratches head

"There was nothing -- in any way, shape or form -- that involved or even resembled imprisonment in your sentence", she said to me.

"I wonder what those Pardon Office attorneys have been smoking?"

I'm going to work on my garden this weekend. I may have to put some asparagus in my garden in your honor. I'll keeping praying and watching and watering with you...:hug:

A pardon would be a nice thing to grow, but the great person that you are is an even finer thing. It's an honor to know you.:grouphug: :patriot:

Of course you've always been kind to me, you silver-tongued devilette you.

It's warming up (finally) here, due to a large, round bright object in the sky whose name my neighhors can't remember.

Time for a little nap and then back to hauling and spreading spoiled straw. Tough life -- glad I've been assigned to live it.

Of course you've always been kind to me, you silver-tongued devilette you.

It's warming up (finally) here, due to a large, round bright object in the sky whose name my neighhors can't remember. This is actually a better time to plant asparagus since it's warming up. Be sure to get the all-male Jersey varieties (e.g., Jersey Giant) when you shop for crowns.

Time for a little nap and then back to hauling and spreading spoiled straw. Tough life -- glad I've been a

Or it has Agent Mike's to contend with.

In any case, let's make this "thank you" a triple play.

If that's ok with you, Agent Mike.

I realize what every I say won't help you much but you do have my support..
I live in California and have had a visit too by LEOs.. I did not loose much and fortunately did not go to Jail..
My Prayers and support are with you.. No matter what..
Keep up the Good fight.. You are Righteous...

... the only people who do not believe in the power of prayer are those who've never been prayed for.

Early on in my long, strange trip, the Northern Arapaho of Wind River country used to mention my name in their sweat lodges and peyote ceremonies on a regular basis.

Every time they did, I could swear I smelled their cedar and sage offerings to the "old men" on the western wind.

You are an inspiration for Patients like me..
Your sacrifices and still you stand tall and outspoken..
Its a bitch when you are the tallest Nail sticking out of the Board..
It always gets hammered first and hardest....
Like I said.. You are Righteous...
Americans like you are where I get my strength and Faith from to keep up this Fight...

In a sane world you would have never been charged. I hope we are alive to see the insanity stop.

I made the mistake of planting some tomatoes in Colorado before Memorial Day. I should have known better. The other day it was 86 degrees and I thought it might be time to put something in the ground? A couple of nights ago, it got down to 35 degrees and it got one of the plants even though I had them covered well.

Good luck on the seeds.

kentuck

and harvested our first spears last month.


What a strange plant...Asparagus.
I can think of no other veggie where you harvest the very first shoots that appear after Winter.
It seems so wrong.
We were conservative, and did not take too much,
but the ones we harvested were sublime,
well beyond our expectations,
creamy, melt in your mouth with a flavor unmatched by any I have ever eaten before.
We decided...More Asparagus,
and are expanding the one bed,
and may plant another.

Ours has been absolutely trouble free,
low maintenance, no pests, diseases, blight or fungal problems....just watch it grow.
It is supposed to grow wild here, so we are on the lookout for that too.
We have been told to look for last year's dead canes.
I'm tempted to go all Johnnie Asparagus Seed around here.

We have been following your saga from our little place in the Ouachita Mountains of Arkansas,
and you have our hearts.
Peace and Good Fortune to you also.

Thanks for the good hearts greeting. I have planted 26 asparagus crowns and 'spect that should be enough for me, though they do taste so good that I might have a hard time getting them into the house before they are devoured. Of course, that's the way I eat much of the Garden, grazing on fresh lettuce and spinach, washing the radishes and turnips in the spring to eat them raw also, making salads of everything.

Except for the sweet corn. For that, I get the water boiling on the stove, pick four or five fresh ears (from my Silver Queen stalks that are nine+ feet tall when they should just be around seven), shuck them at the compost pile, plop them in the boiling water for about 8-10 minutes and then -- look out taste buds, here those sweet kernels come!!

That's my dinner (with a full plate of sliced 'maters sprinkled w/ salt, pepper and garlic powder). Breakfast in the summer is a quart of hot coffee up in the berries, grazing on whatever is coming in. First here will be the Jewel black raspberries, followed by blueberries (with enough varieties to harvest them for two months) and blackberries the size of my thumb for a change of pace.

All of them are pest-free. The blackberries' seeds are a bit too big though. I once had a granny-woman pick a gallon for a cobbler for her grand-kids. One of them (an 8 year old boy) took a bite, looked up and said, "Granny, you left the gravel in this cobbler."

Like I said, a bit too big.

Have a great evening and here's hoping blackberry winter leaves us cool but not cold for the next little while. Y'all come.

Someday.

I would definitely smoke to that.

Of course, Agent Mike, that would be wrong and all that ....

Not.

It should be legal, regulated, taxed and available for consenting adults to responsibly consume just like alcohol is. I make no apologies for that sentiment, whatsoever.

I was too busy to write.

Part of me is tempted to spend the next year recruiting another 1,750 letters to send them next time. But as distended as my ego got from reading the first 175, I probably would be better served spending that time humbly on my knees in the Garden.

and the storms. Your garden sounds marvelous...The garden I trod is an old one and I have little sun to grow many vegetables. The 15 or so crabs that surround my house pay their keep though interlaced with the profusion of lilacs this time of year. The old window where I sit, at the computer is heaven at this time of year. There are only a couple spots on my property where there is enough sun to grow much. I planted a couple apricots a few years back and those are a joy. The one crab that I have that is actually edible other than for jellies, grows heavy out over an old stone bridge and the street where there is sun and in a couple months or so when I walk the dog, as in years past, pick a pocket full to munch on on my walks along the river, and harvest the rest for the neighbors. There is one golden delicious that strains to the sun just where I park, but so far have had just one sumptuous delicious apple off it and that was two years ago. Am hoping for better this year as the blossoms were heavy and now lay in deliciously scented mounds on the ground.

I have always thought what a wonder it would be, to be able to grow fresh vegetables, but that is not in the cards for me...The hundred year old maples that cover my house with shade would have to be cut down if I really got serious about growing vegetables, so I envy you that. There is a climbing hydrangea that has grown up three stories into the sun and the resident squirrel looks longingly into the windows from it. I take some pride in that folks are always photographing the hydrangea from the street when it is in bloom. The tallest vine grows beside my computer window where my dog and I sit, so the squirrels have no end of fun teasing the dog and I'm sure have found a way into the attic as sometimes it sounds like a basketball game going on up there.

Last year I had to relocate a family of raccoons and 5 squirrels from the attic at different times during the summer.

Anyway glad to hear from you and glad it is finally spring and as always am hoping and wishing for a good outcome on your pardon and hope you will keep us informed about it.

... you could plant a small plot or two? When I was locked up in the "house", I planted two demonstration Gardens outside the small grocery store where I worked. I put three raised beds in one 12X12 space, dividing them into nine grow spaces in which I planted a full spring, summer and fall vegetable rotation. Taught Gardening classes there on Saturday to the young Yuppi who inhabited the 'hood.

In the other Garden, I built raised beds in the shape of a human figure (diamond for the head, square for the chest and triangle for the abdomen). We planted medicinal herbs related to which part of the body they served, leaving a big open space in the middle for where cannabis should have been.

It was fun -- the Turnip Truck in east Nashville (or as those of us who worked there as many, many employees came and went on to better-paying jobs with less neurotic bosses called it, the "Turnover Truck".)

I love that vegetable, but never have planted it. I will need to go buy some rootings soon.

Hey, FBN. Sorry to hear about the pardon delay. The weeks will fly by, and in no time at all, you can re-submit the paperwork.

Appreciate the update today. Happy gardening!

Your gardening and planting--of all variations and varieties--are inspirational.


May your harvest be bountiful!

"If God (and the feds) are watching, let's give 'em a good show."

curse. I am sorry this sorry interpretation of rules/ laws keeps you in limbo. It really would be great if you were pardoned( don't I remember that you mentioned that no one had been pardoned for this?) I had a feeling then that you may be the first. Regardless, you have fought the good fight. Enjoy your garden, the most zen activity that humans do outside of procreation. The KY spring has kept me out of mine pretty much. I don't have any acreage but I have composted the heck out of my almost an acre plot. I need to start an asparagus bed and redo my strawberries too. I laid off the Silver Queen last year as I had started seeing more and more corn worms. You ever get to Lexington PM me. Good luck and keep us posted! R

I don't think it is b. thuringensis (sold as Dipel) but it might be. (That is the organic solution for cabbage worms.)

An acre Garden -- that is impressive. I expect you feed yourselves well and fee many, many friends and neighbors to boot.

Good on ya! Hope to meet you in Kentucky or Tennessee soon. Lots of good people flow south from Lexington. If I'm not mistaken, a young artist friend of mine, Andee Rudloff, is from there. Andee and her SO (who I call "Happy Woman") have come helped in my Garden and picked my blueberries several times. Looking forward to their company again soon.

I have an acre but not all of it is garden but I do give lots away, a lot more if it wasn't for the groundhogs, my biggest pest. They would be 'eatin' hogs as they have fattened up on cantaloupe, watermelons, and pumpkins. It is still way to wet to get in the garden. Compost work today, maybe no rain! Again, good luck and keep us posted. R

I'm sorry for your disappointment, FBN, but I admire the way you are able to bend in the wind after all you've been through. :hug:

where our once sensible nation has scarred our lives.
Yours is horrific. Your attitude is refreshing though. Keep up the good fight, the organic farming and if Tn/USA ever stops this idiotic "War on Drugs" (of which marijuana should never have been a part of) may be your "green thumb" can become an asset on another crop, again. Take care of yourself.

Rec

I would really love to host a face-to-face DU gathering in my Garden some day.

She's dying to meet all y'all.

is one who ventures on a new journey, packed and prepared, standing on a precipice (Card 0 of the Tarot). I think many of us are willing to play the fool if it means taking others kicking and screaming into the future. Let them laugh, let them have a grand time of what is left of a system that is clearly not working. My heart goes out to you today, thank you for PMing me and including me in your news.

I am doing well, and many prominent doctors have supported my use of medical marijuana, though cannot provide documentation. Many people definitely have an attitude when they find out what I am taking, but I endure it. I intend on walking with dignity.

I stand with you Fly by Night, am glad to hear from you no matter what happens. Peace to you, you are not alone.

I also heard from an internets friend who responded to this essay by sharing the wisdom of her teacher, Sathya Sai Baba:

"Patience is all the strength a man needs."

I must be getting stronger by the day, whether it always feels like it or not.

Take care and may we all be the Fool someday, when it is our turn to lead.