Planned Parenthood Opens $8 Billion Abortionplex (Onion News)

I'm betting one of my anti-choice acquaintances will send this story to me, believing it is true.


TOPEKA, KS—Planned Parenthood announced Tuesday the grand opening of its long-planned $8 billion Abortionplex, a sprawling abortion facility that will allow the organization to terminate unborn lives with an efficiency never before thought possible.


During a press conference, Planned Parenthood president Cecile Richards told reporters that the new state-of-the-art fetus-killing facility located in the nation's heartland offers quick, easy, in-and-out abortions to all women, and represents a bold reinvention of the group's long-standing mission and values.

"Although we've traditionally dedicated 97 percent of our resources to other important services such as contraception distribution, cancer screening, and STD testing, this new complex allows us to devote our full attention to what has always been our true passion: abortion," said Richards, standing under a banner emblazoned with Planned Parenthood's new slogan, "No Life Is Sacred." "And since Congress voted to retain our federal funding, it's going to be that much easier for us to maximize the number of tiny, beating hearts we stop every day."

<snip>

"We really want abortion to become a regular part of women's lives, especially younger women who have enough fertile years ahead of them to potentially have dozens of abortions," said Richards, adding that the Abortionplex would provide shuttle service to and from most residences, schools, and shopping malls in the region. "Our hope is for this facility to become a regular destination where a woman in her second trimester can whoop it up at karaoke and then kick back while we vacuum out the contents of her cervix."

More: http://www.theonion.com/articles/planned-parenthood-opens-8-billion-abortionplex,20476/

:evilgrin:

I wonder, do they offer flight/hotel discounts for out of state clients?

altho it is difficult for pregnant, poor women to board a flight from, say, Mississippi to CT, in a red hot minute after they become pregnant...

But for other women in other, less enlightened states, I can see how this could happen. Not the "tourism" part, but just to get to a state that is more enlightened...

The Onion exists only for those who don't know it's parody, and it's true that many people will be getting an email this week from someone who is shocked that liberals are doing this.