Rapture Instructions. (For TRVE CHRISTINAS™ ONLY!)

1. Worry not about thine head hitting the ceiling. Thou wilt pass through thy roof as it were by magic.
2. Thou needeth not dress for the occasion. Clothing will not be taken up with thee.
3. Be not ashamed by thy nakedness. All naughty bits will be removed in the Rapture. God is a Barbie & Ken collector, and is not interested in thy junk.
4. Worry not regarding thy pets. God loves Fluffy, too, and will take her up, too.
5. Leave thy doors unlocked, so that thy neighbors who are left behind may have access to thy possessions.
6. There is no cell phone service where thou wilt be.
7. Edit thine email vacation message so that thine heathen relations will be informed of thine uptaking.
8. Know that thy trampish daugher-in-law will not be taken up and rejoice therein.

Note: God is an Englishman. Hence the pronunciation of words beginning with "H."

amusing, thanks :)

O8)

rapture. If I can't take my gold bars I aint going damnit!

Some are making a small fortune with advanced payment for the care of the Fluffy left behind.

:evilgrin:

not really. LOL

pile all my shit in my truck and drive to the eastern/central time zone line. From the central side, I'll be able to see what's happening, and I'll have an hour to prepare. Who knows, I may need my cell phone, or maybe a pair of waders.

if I can't take my dick, I'm not going. That's my final answer.

Of course, I noticed the overuse of thine, thy, and thou.
Thanks for the mid-morning laughs. It has been thundering nearly nonstop since 11pm yesterday, and my poor horrified Chihuahua kept me up all night. I'm zombified.

King James Version of the Bible. Until we had that, nobody know what language He spoke.