FEMA Declares Eric Cantor a Disaster Area

FEMA Declares Eric Cantor a Disaster Area


Congressman Denies Funds to Self
http://www.borowitzreport.com/2011/05/25/fema-declares-eric-cantor-a-disaster-area/

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report) – One day after Rep. Eric Cantor (R-VA) stirred controversy by withholding funds for tornado relief, the Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA) took the extraordinary step of declaring Rep. Cantor a disaster area.

Within hours of the declaration, FEMA officials were dispatched to assess the damage to Mr. Cantor’s status as a human being capable of empathy.

“I’ve seen a lot of hurricanes and tornados, but this is something new,” said FEMA spokesman Tracy Klugian. “Rep. Cantor appears to have been caught up in a moral vacuum.”

While concerned FEMA officials looked on, the morally ravaged House Majority Leader took to the floor of the House to make the case for denying funds to repair himself.

snip

:patriot:

...that they only put up with because he does their homework...otherwise they'd pants him in a heartbeat...

Looks more like a Poindexter or Melvin, or Otto or Marion to me:)

:rofl:

What kind of asshat says something like that?

Think about the people of Joplin, wandering around the rubble, still in shock--as they hear that tough ol' Eric Cantor
is politicizing this tragedy.

Fuck him. What an outrageous, misguided fool Eric Cantor is.

So glad this is getting more media attention. Everyone deserves to know what a hollow, shrill, unwise
cretin he is.

Can you tell I'm pissed?

Play your politics and all--but please leave disaster victims out of your games.

MAKE HE AND PATRICK MCHENRY BE ROOMATES ON A TRIP SOME GOD FORSAKEN PLACE. :puke: :bounce: :dunce: :dunce: :hangover: :hangover: :nopity: :nopity: :wow: :wow: :beer: :beer: :hi: :hi: :hi: :hi: :hi: :hi: :hi: