Planned Parenthood Opens $8 Billion Abortionplex in Topeka, Kansas!

Planned Parenthood Opens $8 Billion Abortionplex
May 18, 2011

TOPEKA, KS—Planned Parenthood announced Tuesday the grand opening of its long-planned $8 billion Abortionplex, a sprawling abortion facility that will allow the organization to terminate unborn lives with an efficiency never before thought possible.

During a press conference, Planned Parenthood president Cecile Richards told reporters that the new state-of-the-art fetus-killing facility located in the nation's heartland offers quick, easy, in-and-out abortions to all women, and represents a bold reinvention of the group's long-standing mission and values.

The 900,000-square-foot facility has more than 2,000 rooms dedicated to the abortion procedure. The abundance of surgical space, Richards said, will ensure that women visiting the facility can be quickly fitted into stirrups without pausing to second-guess their decision or consider alternatives such as adoption. Hundreds of on-site counselors are also available to meet with clients free of charge and go over the many ways that carrying a child to term will burden them and very likely ruin their lives.

The remaining space is dedicated to amenities such as coffee shops, bars, dozens of restaurants and retail outlets, a three-story nightclub, and a 10-screen multiplex theater—features intended not only to help clients relax, but to foster a sense of community and make abortion more of a social event.



A Look Inside Planned Parenthood's $8 Billion Abortionplex

Read the full article at:

http://www.theonion.com/articles/planned-parenthood-opens-8-billion-abortionplex,20476/?mobile=false


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Here's some reviews by happy customers posted on Yelp. BBI

1. As the owner of a local mom-and-pop coat hanger business, I find your collective support of the Wal-Mart of Abortion clinics appalling. NO ONE cares more about helping the people of Topeka exterminate their fetii than me, and yet you people couldn't give two shits about their pricing me out of town. We'll see what happens when they gain a monopoly and jack up their prices ... enjoy your wrinkled coats you corporate circle-jerking fuckwads!

2. I went to planned parenthood, but they rejected me because I am an immigrant. However, at Abortionplex I was able to obtain the services I needed without any questions ask. The $1 happy hour bar was absolutely amazing. Will definitely come back soon.

3. Believe me, I've had a great many post-abortion pedicure, but the Abortionplex tops them ALL! It made the trip to Topeka absolutely worth it! My toes are lookin' finer, and my uterus is feelin' emptier than ever before! Thanks Planned Parenthood for money well spent!

4. Not the best but not the worst, either (IMHO - Best ever - The Waldorf-Abortionia. Worst ever - Abortion-Mart)

On the plus side (no EPT pun intended!) - towels are 400 thread count and bottled water is free (Fiji is an extra $2).

Negatives - waiting room has ESPN but not ESPN HD and way too many handicapped parking spaces out front! Really? How many handicapped chicks are getting laid? My girlfriend was complaining the whole way out that she was too sore to walk to where we had to park.

All in all we would probably come back if we were in the area again. Especially if they were running some sort of special (e.g. "abortion and round of golf" or "abortion and nickel beer night" which would be great for repeat business).

http://www.yelp.com/biz/abortionplex-topeka?rpp=40&sort_by=date_desc


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The $8 Billion Abortionplex, Soon With Jamba Juice and Bumper Boats: 4 Stars!
by Abby Zimet
June 1, 2011

The saga of Planned Parenthood's new state-of-the-art fetus-killing facility in Topeka, Kansas - complete with coupons, karaoke, coffee shops, multiplex, incinerators and new slogan, "No Life Is Sacred" - keeps unfolding. First the Onion article; then, a site devoted to Facebook comments from outraged people who, umm, thought it was serious. Now there are Yelp reviews - of the abortion experience, the nacho bar, the arcade games, and, most excitedly, IHOP Express in the food court. Man, alot of people have time on their hands.

Sample Reviews:

Can't wait to go back! Got great deals (Buy one, get one half-off.) Enjoyed the wide selection of bars, and picked up new sandals while I was there! I will be back for plenty more abortions!

This would be a 5 star review, had the bumper boats been open.

http://www.commondreams.org/further/2011/06/01-8

There was another thread with Facebook statuses by dumb fundies (but I repeat myself) believing this was true. Now where was it?

I think it's very funny.

Done wasting my time on it.

after getting so brutally "scooped" on this story...

:rofl:
rocktivity