I'm tired.

All my life I've been the one coming up with something positive to lift everyone's spirits in the tough times. And me and mine have been through a lot of tough times. It's getting tougher by the day. In the toughest of times I have ALWAYS been the one to find a silver lining or the humor in the midst of pain and help keep everyone around me in a better frame of mind.

When I was in my 40's I looked ahead and thought even if my life at home sucked ass and my income pretty low - my prospects of economic independence in the future looked just bright enough that maybe I could get the hell out of this hell hole. I kept my troubles to myself, put my nose to the grindstone, tried my best to take care of family and neighbors and friends and co-workers with a smile and a kind word.

Now I am in my 50's. Economically, even though the boss man tossed a nice raise and apology my way after I finally complained, it's simply not possible to meet all the financial needs of a single almost 60 yr old woman (and the attendant health issues) on my income alone. All of my options are between bad and bad. Made more frustrating because I still remember what it was like to have hope.

I've long ago lost count of people I know who are in a situation of having to choose between bad and bad. More and more people are losing hope on so many different levels. If I have finally been beaten down to the point where I'm not sure I have the energy to get back up and fight them one more day - I can't imagine what the less pollyanna prone folks are dealing with.

But I WILL fight one more day. Because I refuse to let those fucking fucks who did this to us win.





AND before I close. I want to thank those of you who busted my shit a couple weeks ago when I posted that I will just sit there at work and eat shit sandwiches because I didn't feel like I had a choice. I was too tired to stand on my own two feet and ya'll kicked my butt until I was standing again.

I really thank each and every one of you.

"Son, as long as you can steal, you can eat...and when you can longer steal, they will feed you in jail..."

I'm sorry you are feeling this way, SmileyRose. There is so much suffering and despair -- not needless whining but out-and-out despair and hopelessness, that it's absolutely heartbreaking.

It's hard for me not to feel the same at times.

On one hand I believe we all need a safe space to vent. On the other hand, it seems like message boards such as this can become a cesspool of negativity and suck everyone down more quickly than perhaps they would have on their own.

If someone is feeling hopeless -- again, no doubt for good reason since we can all see what's happening all around -- it seems to be a self-fulfilling prophecy unless someone tries to encourage taking positive action, in some way, shape or form.

Yet, what I've observed is that because so many feel hopeless, it's easy for them to get irritated with anyone suggesting something positive, as though they're some Pollyanna hiding their heads in the sand. That just feeds the negativity and the self-fulfilling prophecy of doom.

I realize not everyone has the energy to fight for what we want and the changes that we feel are necessary. I think our energy level and "combat readiness" varies daily. Mine does. Yet, at the very least, I think we can stop beating up on those who are trying to find positives or, more importantly, trying to CREATE positives, while also being fully aware of the negatives.

So, if you can't find a silver lining right now, please don't beat yourself up. I know you don't beat anyone else up who is trying to do whatever little they can do to better things for themselves and others. Let someone else carry that "hope" load for you, for now. You'll find the energy again...I'm sure you will...to keep fighting the good fight, in whatever form that may take.

I can't fathom giving up. I simply can't. Not yet...but I may get there one day. However, I don't fault anyone for being so tired they want to give up. I just hope I can lend a little strength to help them get to the other side, and that those who feel that way will allow those of us to keep trying without inadvertently trying to tear us down.

I hope that makes sense. It's something I think of often, and how people react to one another here, there and everywhere.








:hug:

:hug:

today, I was in an auto wreck that changed my life. Today, I looked at my bank account, and saw that I still have $35 left of my "life savings," which had been much larger, and that I had hoped would see me through retirement. I was thinking, "Where the heck did it all go?" Bills, gas, and groceries, mainly.

In a very real sense, I will continue to particip
As a young man, I loved boxing. Between each round, there was a one-minute rest period. I used to resent that minute, because it allowed my opponent time to catch their breath. These days, I require longer rest periods between "rounds" of fighting. But I carry on.

I'm glad that you are carrying on, too. Mighty proud to be on the same team in this, the Good Fight.

wishes and lots of hugs. That's all I have offer.

the Pollyanna for a moment. Reading your post, I had to think about a former coworker of mine. She was older than both of us. She had this job with people of great professional standing, yet I found out this was just the second job she's had since her husband died. I watched her career go to crazy great places, she made so much money it was silly, and in fact, lived out the career dream she'd put aside when her family was young. I mean, she started at age 6? and totally lived the dream she had as a 20 year old. These things can and do happen. May they happen to you.

Yesterday I vented to a neighbor who approached to ask if I was OK, overheard the ugliness of inside my house clear inside her house. She told me I can sleep there if I need to and I assured her it's not physical, just emotional.

At any rate, she told me she has an Aunt that's over 70 and just graduated from Nursing school. Something she wanted all her life and never could. A candle in the darkness. :)

and understand the tiredness all too well. As the old saying goes, "Stay calm. Carry on."

But you seem to have a bit of the fighter in you if you're willing to go one more day - then try another and another. Please look for a way to do something nice for yourself, even if it's just a walk or watching something in nature. Get some rest - maybe tomorrow will look brighter after a break from thinking about your problems.

You are not alone. I wish you the best.

fast. I think I'll put your bolded statement on the top of my computer screen. It will help me to keep going.

We had always counted on our home and property to be a way to retirement. The value has dropped to a third of what it was worth. Looks like we will be making flutes until the day we die, now. We are in our 60s and it has been a great life and a blessed vocation, but the dream of travel and rest is dimming.

I am astounded at what has happened to this country. I too, will not give up!


If anyone needs a flute or an ocarina, visit us at Pike Place Market in Seattle, or our website www.clayz.com (call and ask for a DU discount :)

What beautiful instruments you have crafted. Pike Place Market is one of my favorite places in spectacular Seattle. Haven't been there in far too long. Look forward to seeing you when I'm able to make the trip.

Blessings.

I've enjoyed your up-beat posts and understanding you have shown on DU.

This is what I've heard lately in general. Say what you will, but I believe the Solar Eclipse we've just had sure made a lot of people feel the "frustration cycle" more than usual. We have some real things to be frustrated about in the air, perhaps to peak from it's prior trough?

I don't know. Sometimes, I really don't know. But, one thing we can do is share our frustrations and get up and do it again every day. Just try. If the ugliness gets the best of you, make some changes there (whatever that is) that make you a priority. You are special and quite worthy.

I thank you for being here.

:hug:

Thought this might help

http://www.youtube.com/embed/-alqj0nd9-A" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

we have been waiting for................. :bounce:

but I can't give up, it would break my grandkids hearts, they need me. Funny thing is as bad as things get, I just can't give up. I so want to so often. All I would have to do is not take my meds, no one can make me take them and they make me sick and I am sick of being sick. But everyday, I take them for my grands. The other funny thing is I keep finding things that interest me, a tv show, a joke or funny post on a forum I visit, a wonderful new book. Or I come here and read and learn. lol, I will always look like a newbie, cause I have so much to learn, I am the new DU sponge. I love learning and I love reading things that make me think. Or I get to spend time with my grands and they let me know how they love me or they say something funny or interesting or both. I am tired, exhausted, but I am not giving up or in. I might miss the next joke, lesson, interesting movie or next great read. So, I just keep taking the next step, doing the next thing next. I don't contribute anything anymore but I sure am enjoying watching others now.

lol, one of my grandsons, when he heard about that last prediction of the world ending told me, " don't worry, the world will end with a black dwarf" I did not think I heard right. then he told me a black dwarf is when a sun burns out and is dead, "but I don't have to worry we will all be long gone anyway" I have no clue if he knew what he was talking about but I loved his matter of fact dismissal of all the brouhaha about it. I am glad I was still present and did not miss that and I look forward to more of those moments, so no matter how tired I get, I just keep taking my pills.

I have learned to quit thinking about being sick and tired and just sit back and let the world entertain me for the time being. I hope that changes, but in the mean time, I am just resting. I am sick and tired so my job right now is to do what Dr's say, take my meds and rest. I think more people could benefit from taking a time out, doing only what they have to and resting. I have been amazed at the things I appreciate and notice now. I am in my 50's, alone, poor and sick and exhausted, but I enjoy most days. That is amazing. I got there by just acknowledging my situation and finding the joy where I can. Sounds simple and ineffective but it is working for me. so far.

No telling what I will do when my health gets more stable. But I will be rested and ready for whatever it is.

Back when I wore flannel shirts and bell bottoms and marched against the war and listened to good music (remember that?), I had hope and expectation. Now, my soon to be 35 year old daughter and her fiance are unemployed, I have moved in with my Significant Other because she lost her job in 2009 (she will be 60 this year, too - a consummate professional and no way will she get a job at her age), and I just pray I can make it a couple years so maybe I can get Social Security when I am inevitably fired after a long and mostly successful career. I think we are doomed. But I also think the global climate situation is going to wipe us out. I will be dead by then, though.

The end of the American empire? It happened in 2000 with the selection of George W. Bush. We are finished, but those who live in gated communities will do OK.

to feel is hopeless. It really drags you down when you are alone. You think you can turn to your church for the comfort but find if you aren't part of the new wave of religious freaks and follow them like lemmings then your left out. I feel congress and the president are all bought and paid for by corporation. I came to the point why bother voting any longer. One matter who wins they are owned by corporations. You had some good guys out there like Weiner and they ran him out of office. How very sad. I hope the sleeping liberal giant wakes up and fights back. We are all tired.

burns eternal, but I think the flame is expiring. We somehow made it where we are... Can you imagine the kids now in their early twenties. They will be uneducated slaves all of their lives. The current issue of Mother Jones tells all about how executive pay has shot up and the rest has remained the same. The stuff I read there made me so furious I almost passed out.

It really is a battle, and they win when we give up. As long as we refuse to lay down and die for their pleasure they can't win. We all know this.

Things change. In harsh times it helps to think of Martin Luther King Jr and his impossible dream of true equality. Imagine the laughter his idiotic idealism must have generated, especially with the entrenched white supremacy. What would have happened if he had given up or never tried? Think about Mandela and Apartheid and South Africa and the 28 years he spent doing hard time prison. He must have wanted to give up many, many times. People like these make me realize my burden is small. All I have to do is keep moving forward one step at a time.

But it's not about having the feeling of wanting to give up. Everyone has that. It's about finding the strength to continue because your fight is a righteous one. We all have a purpose in our lives.

and I would complain, but after reading these posts, I don't think I have a right to do so.
Best wishes to you, Smiley Rose.......you name says you are positive! I know you won't give up.

start all over again!"

Thanks much... I didn't see your original post..but it's good to know you are keeping on fighting...

:hug:

Even when it gets tough sometimes (believe me I know!), there are people who care here!

Those fucking fucks who did this to us? They have us surrounded. They have bought every form of communication and they have infiltrated our political party. Well, aside from the various islands of sanity on the internet they bought it all. I share your fatigue.

As others have said, never give up. The human spirit is resilient and hope is the last thing to go.

I remember someone asking Bill Clinton in the midst of the Lewinsky mess how he coped with all of it and still manage to run the country. He answered that he compartmentalized his problems. I found that to be good advice. When I feel overwhelmed by life, I try to take a deep breath and separate each problem and tackle them individually. It's less overwhelming that way.

I'm also a spiritual person, I attend church regularly and praying gives me peace. There's a saying in Spanish that I enjoy: Dios aprieta, pero no ahorca...... God will squeeze you, but won't choke you.

Don't give up, you sound like a fighter. Life is far too wonderful, despite all the thorns in our path.

:hug:

Clinton repaired some of the Reagan/Bush damage, but there was only so much he could do in eight years and with a hostile Congress. I'm amazed that he did nearly as well as he did. But that sort of gets lost in the noise when you look at the catastrophe of the shrub's eight years. I'll be shocked if Obama pulls off anything close to what Carter managed, but with the current Congress that doesn't seem too likely.

The Republicans have no interest in the well being of our country. All they care about is the care and feeding of their corporate sponsors, and while the net goal is financial, it is really about control - and there are no measures that do not exceed their shallow boundaries. As long as they can hold the Senate hostage with 51 votes by merely threatening a filibuster, stagnation will be the norm and the country will languish as it slips further behind the other industrialized and educated nations.