Mr. Pauncefoot.....One more time!

The Strange Case of Mr. Pauncefoot’s Broad Mind
By Ogden Nash


Once there was a man named Mr. Pauncefoot to whom
fate could not have been meaner,

Because he was a born in-betweener.

Yes, he was one whom in an argument nothing but woe
ever betides,

Because he always thought that there was much to be said
on both sides,

With the result that to his friends on the Left he was but a
little capitalistic bee busy distributing Tory pollen,

While on the Right he was rumored to be in the pay of
Stalin.

Mr. Pauncefoot lived in a suburb, which was inevitable
but rather a pity,

Since the upshot was that he appeared as a city boy in the
country and a country boy in the city.

He was never invited to sing either solo or in a convivial
quartet by even the kindest Samaritan,

Because his voice was just a little too low for the tenor and
just a little too high for the baritan.

Mr. Pauncefoot was miserable until one day he read about
the donkey that starved to death between two hay-
stacks because it couldn’t decide which haystack to
begin on , and he said, “That’s an end of all my con-
fusions”,

Only Mr. Pauncefoot didn’t starve to death, quite the op-
posite, he spent the rest of his days very happily eat-
ing his own words between two conclusions.

In the yellow field at the top of the page is a .pdf link that will allow you to download 119 of Nash's poems. Enjoy!

http://www.poemhunter.com/ogden-nash/