Giuliani Filing May Signal 2012 Presidential Bid

SATIRE from http://thedesperateblogger.com/2011/09/giuliani-filing-may-signal-2012-presidential-bid/

Former New York City Mayor and 2008 Republican presidential hopeful Rudolph W. Giuliani’s announcement that he has filed the necessary papers to officially change his name represents a clear sign to analysts, pundits, and street vendors alike that the man once known as ‘America’s Mayor’ will soon be jumping into the 2012 GOP primary race.

Appearing on the September 11th edition of CBS’s ‘Face the Nation’, Giuliani surprised hardly anyone when he first referred to himself as ‘Rudy 9/11′, but did raise more than a few eyebrows with his revelation that he is officially changing his name from ‘Rudolph W. Giuliani’ to ‘Rudy Nyneleven’. Speaking from the Ground Zero site of the newly dedicated 9/11 Memorial, he declined to address host Bob Schieffer’s questions about a possible 2012 bid, saying, “As I stand here on this hallowed ground, on the 10th anniversary of the profound tragedy that marked my finest hour – both personally, professionally, and politically – I feel it would be inappropriate and selfish to discuss my future, personal or political, at this time. I do expect, however, perhaps as soon as this evening, to be making an announcement via the website of my SuperPAC, ItsNyneleveninAmerica.org which should answer all the questions so many people have been asking me lately about my plans.”

When asked if the 10th anniversary of the terrorist attacks that killed nearly 3000 innocents on American soil would be the appropriate time to announce, either way, what his decision regarding the 2012 campaign will be, Nyneleven bristled, “Of course it would be appropriate. It couldn’t possibly be more appropriate. September 11th is my day – I am 9/11. We are synonymous – one and the same. I am nothing without 9/11 and 9/11 is nothing without me…”

At that point, perhaps due to a technical glitch, the network cut to commercial.

A short time later when asked for comment, long time Nyneleven associate and Executive Director of ItsNyneleveninAmerica.org Bernard Kerik, when reached at his residence in the federal correction facility at Cumberland, Maryland, told reporters, “While I cannot comment on what Rudy’s going to do, I will tell you to stay tuned for a major announcement.”

When asked for his thoughts on his longtime friend and associate’s name change, the former New York City Police Commissioner, interim Interior Minister of Iraq, and Bush administration nominee as US Secretary of Homeland Security responded, “I think it suits him perfectly. I also think he showed his genius in his choice of spelling ‘Nyneleven’. Not only does he make it easier for people to pronounce the name properly, but he also pays homage to his New York roots – something that should not be underestimated for any pro-choice Republican who may be running in a possibly pivotal New York primary.”

Regarding whether or not getting into the race at this late date might compromise his chances of success should Nyneleven announce his candidacy, Kerik, before rushing off to a previous engagement in the prison laundry, said, “Between his background as a former federal prosecutor and my experience as Commissioner of the NYPD as well as a security consultant to many of the world’s most wealthy and powerful individuals, the two of us possess knowledge that I am confident will inspire an overwhelming amount of campaign support in the way of contributions.”

:rofl:

Didn't he finish behind Ron Paul in New Hampshire in 2008? Nuff said.

Seriously.

Besides, there are still people on the right (not many) who are saying that he will run. I did miss the satire and for that I apologize. But if you're going to make fun of me, why make it so serious? It's called 'making fun,' after all, isn't it? ;)

I've had a few threads go 'woosh' over my head, too..

:spray:

Details, details...

He would drain votes from Romney and help knock out Perry's main rival. At the same time, Giuliani would attract no support from teabaggers and fundies.

:rofl:

that number <;D>

BTW, I really enjoy reading your "news" articles. You have a real talent for this.

Sincerely,
A 45%er

Then Obama will destroy him during the election.

And I'm not eating any hats next year, trust me.

I've seen hats for many occasions, but what does that sort of hat look like?

I gotta figure there's a strap involved... <;D>

put on your fucking hat!"