Canada to Build Twenty-foot Fence if Perry Elected Could Be Electrified, Border Officials Warn

Andy Borowitz
www.borowitzreport.com


OTTAWA (The Borowitz Report) – Canada warned today that if Gov. Rick Perry (R-TX) is elected President of the United States in 2012, it would take the “regrettably necessary step” of constructing a 20-foot fence along its entire border with the U.S.

“This is a step that we don’t take lightly,” said Canadian Border Security Minister Ian McLarrity. “However, we must protect ourselves from the prospect of millions of Americans pouring over the border.”

Mr. McLarrity said that Canadian border officials were alarmed by the volume of panicky comments regarding Americans’ migratory plans in the event of a Perry win posted on websites ranging from National Public Radio to Huffington Post.

“We are taking this threat very seriously,” he said. “We will electrify the fence if necessary.”

Perhaps taking the lead from Canada, Mexican officials said today that in the event of a Perry victory it would install tollbooths in its secret underground tunnels, which would require travelers to provide documentary evidence that they are members of a drug cartel in order to gain entry to Mexico.

At a campaign stop in Florida today, Gov. Perry addressed the prospect of an electrified fence being erected on the United States’ northern border.

“My position on electrocution is a matter of public record,” he said. “I’m for it.”

b/c I'm shedding tears.

I'm going to call it "The MountieMen" :D

In his book, "It Can't Happen HERE" The supporters of President "Buzz" Windrip, the "Minutemen Marching Club" became the vigilantes who patrolled the US-Canada border to keep Americans from escaping.

I never knew it involved Canada.

The border was patrolled heavily. You should read it, it's like a preview of what Authoritarian rule would look like.
It's even available free, online.

... in an instant message with a friend of mine. How prophetic!

not taking any chances.

http://www.doxafestival.ca/festival/jobs.html



It would appear that Canada has focused many of their job openings by non-profits, etc. to try and hire their unemployed as indicated here, instead of the pattern of many employers we have in this country avoiding hiring the unemployed. Wish we had a government that would take care of our citizens more!

The two jobs I applied for specifically say that Canadians are favored. Makes sense to me.

And we hired these Mexicans illegally to build ours! Maybe Canada would hire us without any papers, etc. too! :)

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=6626823

That is funny & sad at the same time.

According to my Christian fourth grade science textbook, you can't feel electricity anyway.

:yourock: It works BOTH ways, your morons.

I've given up hope of immigrating, but I would like to have a property across the border. Does anyone know if that's possible?

I know several U.S. citizens who own Canadian property. I've been looking into the possibility myself, but it appears that the real estate bubble has not burst in Canada. Properties are very expensive.

They have plenty of that.