Looking for feedback on my attempt at an "Occupy" anthem:

I played this yesterday at the "Occupy Juneau" event(yes, this HAS reached Southeast Alaska, campers) and it went over pretty well there.

Just want any reactions from you guys

(The tune is sort of a rockabilly progression in G, btw)

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

(intro, sung like a sort of ballad)

What kind of folks would do a thing like this?

Is that what I heard you say?

There any kind of folks you can ever name

And they’re all right here today:


1)There’s short folks, tall folks, big folks, small folks

Any kind of folks at all

We got short hair, long hair, green hair strong hair

Or no hair at all

All kinds of folks are coming by

They’re all here to OCCUPY!

There's young folks, old folks, shy folks bold folks

Folks of every kind

Hip folks, square folks, here and there folks

Folks of every mind

All those folks are here-here’s why

They’re all here to OCCUPY!





(Chorus)

Occupy the park, yeah, Occupy your street

Your town, your city, and then your state, tell everyone you meet

All kinds of folks are joining in

Occupy and then we’ll WIN!



1)There's black folks, white folks, red folks, yellow folks

Folks who might be plaid

There’s men folks, women folks, somewhere inbetwimmen folks

Folks who are angry and sad

All those folks are gonna testify

They’re all here to OCCUPY!

gay folks, straight folks, bi folks are great folks,

Folks who just wanna be friends

Muslims, Jews, Sikhs, Christians, Hindus. Druids, Wiccans

And folks who don’t care how it ends

All these folks ready to defy

They’re all here to OCCUPY!



(Chorus)


(Bridge)



Now there’s no reason you should be afraid

There’s a brand new future waiting to be made



3)There’s folks who work eighty hours a week

While the rich boys go to play,

and Folks who USED to have a job and a home

Before the banks took ‘em both away.

Folks struggling to live, and folks left to die

Joining forces to OCCUPY!

There’s lots of folks in the words of this song,

That ain’t nothin’ new.

But the folks we need now

To win this fight

Are the folks who look like you.

We’re the 99%

Don’t just stand by

Now’s the time to OCCUPY!

(repeat Chorus twice and end)

If you wanted to do that, ok, but I'd rather hear you say what it is you don't like about the lyrics. I'm putting them up for critique here. Maybe you have a good suggestion.

Communicate, don't just diss..ok?

would love to see you perform it

n/t.

I"m lousy at hearing lyrics in my mind.

I really hate being blocked .. as a writer I'm hoping my creative juices start flowing soon.

Perhaps simplify People lose a verse that's too detailed. Just go mostly chorus that has a hooked lyric easily remembered Good luck
My song based on the greek protests is called "riot dog". Hollynicholemusic

Thanks for the feedback.

(part of the idea I'm working with, in addition to the rockabilly feel, is to give it sort of a "I Been Everywhere, Man" by Johnny Cash feeling).

n/t.