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Leno
Herman Cain is the first Republican presidential candidate to get secret service protection. The level of protection a candidate gets depends on how well-known they are. For example, Jon Huntsman gets a 10-minute judo lesson and a plastic whistle.
Letterman
Newt Gingrich wants to repeal child labor laws. Ladies and gentlemen, this is the man that we need to lead us into the 18th century.
Kimmell
This is the 14th Republican debate and there are still 12 more to go. The plan, I think, is to keep debating until somebody recognizes Rick Santorum on the street.
Mitt Romney admitted in an interview, "I tasted a beer and tried a cigarette once as a wayward teenager and never did it again. This has the makings of the lamest "Behind the Music" special yet.
If you think that's bad, Jon Huntsman is now admitting that in college he experimented with parting his hair to the left.
The star of the debate was Herman Cain. He didn't talk much because the debate was about national defense and his area of expertise is pizza.
Fallon
Tonight was the 14th republican presidential debate, or as Barack Obama has started calling them, campaign ads.
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