In Sign He Is Still In Charge, State-run Media Names Mubarak ‘Sexiest Man Alive’

In Sign He Is Still In Charge, State-run Media Names Mubarak ‘Sexiest Man Alive’
Dictator Graciously Accepts Honor
February 9, 2011

In what Middle Eastern experts take as a sign that he is still very much in charge, today Egyptian state-run media declared President Hosni Mubarak “Sexiest Man Alive.”

Appearing on state-run TV to accept the Sexiest Man title, the Egyptian dictator adopted a conciliatory tone towards his political adversaries: “We may have our differences, but we can all agree that I am smokin’ hot.”

In s potentially hopeful sign, Mr. Mubarak did make a cryptic reference to a “transition plan,” indicating that it involved transferring $40 billion from Egypt to Switzerland.

In Washington, a State Department spokesperson revealed that the U.S was actively searching for a replacement for Mr. Mubarak, “but we don’t want to use the same headhunting firm that found Karzai.”

http://www.borowitzreport.com/

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_pEfVJ93Cwa8/TEzZbN-66cI/AAAAAAAAGy8/t80Mx-7Ur_w/s400/Hussny+Mubarak.jpg

Bravo!

CNN called him a "virtual rock star." FOX dubbed him a beltway "babe magnet." And The Wall Street Journal hailed "the new hunk of home-front airtime." No, it's not the next Brad Pitt. The guy causing the commotion is 70-year old grandfather of five, Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld. "Rumstud," as President Bush refers to his frontman in the war on terror, with his worn brown shoes and rumpled gray suits, has put a new spin on Henry Kissinger's maxim "Power is the ultimate aphrodisiac." With blunt talk and wry humor, Mr. Secretary has become the Pentagon's very own must-see TV. "More than any other man in Washington," says Barbara Starr, CNN's Pentagon correspondent, "Don Rumsfeld exercises absolute raw, ruthless power and enjoys it." On the flip side, she adds, Rummy can be "a big flirty pussycat." Happily married to his high school sweetheart, Joyce, 70, the 5'10" bespectacled father of three has proven his mettle under pressure. On 9/ 11, while most senior officers were running for cover, Rumsfeld was outside the Pentagon carrying stretchers until security forced him back inside. The ex-Navy pilot is "an old-fashioned, ail-American he-man, plain and simple," says Jennifer Harper, media columnist for The Washington Times. "He's got that steady gaze, that strong jaw—a man you could trust if all hell were breaking loose. That's pretty sexy stuff."


2002
http://www.people.com/people/archive/article/0,,20138634,00.html