I'm seriously considering divorcing my wife over Taxes

Another year another HUGE Tax Bill she hands me

My wife is an immigrant and she has always had trouble with Taxes. I remember her first pay check when she saw the deductions. Boy did she hit the roof - "How can they take your money" - Honey it's America EVERYONE pays taxes

Will it hasn't gotten any better. I earn a descent living, we own a home, have food to eat, Health Insurance - the whole Enchilada. Before I met my wife I had survived a 7 year audit, hired a CPA, and an EA, paid my bill and the lawyer fees and cleared up my Tax problems. Ever since then I've ALWAYS left some deductions on the table so to speak. I want a Tax Return not a Tax Bill at the end of the year.

Will now every year she hands me her TAX BILL

Right now sitting on the table I have a $2600 Tax bill which must be paid in 10 days. She thought she was working under the table, but when she pissed off her employer, got fired, and filed for unemployment, he 1099ed her and never sent her a copy. OK I understand what happened and can forgive that

Now here it is another year. At the beginning of the year I told her to change her deductions. "Sweety - you are NOT Tax Exempt - you need to pay Taxes" Well you guessed it, after doing our taxes last night she has handed me yet another $6000 Tax Bill.

Nobody gets a 1% Tax Rate - why in the Fuck would the employer and her try to play stupid.

I'm scared - jobs are getting harder to find - I'm currently unemployed so the money for the $2600 is coming right out of my savings. The $6000 Tax Bill comes out of the Deductions I purposely didn't claim last year. So instead of getting a new roof on the house (which I am surprised is not leaking now) it goes towards the Taxes she did not pay.

At what point do I say enough is enough - when I finally don't have the savings and we loose the house and I become Homeless

Rather than leaving it till now?

But I'm not married so maybe I don't know what's what.

Bryant

though.

I thought that was the only reason for married couples to ever file individually. :shrug:

but someone in that household is going to have to pay them. She'll be on the hook but if you want to stay married....

then he signed a form early in the process promising that the would be totally financially responsible for her until she gained citizenship.

Sounds like OP is getting screwed by a woman who knows exactly what she's doing.

Sure she likes to be the 1 the whole family considers a Hero.

She has put a couple of nieces and nephews through college already, any time there is an illness in the family she sends money for the hospital/doctor visits, but the bottom line is any time there is a "Shortfall in finances here at home she expects me to run in with my checkbook"

When you add that up with the fact I pay ALL the bills this just sucks

There are some circumstances when filing separately can reduce the total tax bill. That is the primary reason to file separately.

And would that make a difference to the IRS? Could the what's his is hers thing make him liable for her debt to the IRS?

:argh:

They still come take the house

As in, both names are on the deed and the mortgage?

You should look into having her sell some of whatever she's been spending "her" extra on each month to pay you back if you get stuck with it. That's just irresponsible of her, and IMO cause for talking with a divorce lawyer.

She sends the bulk of her money home to help out her family

I pay the mortgage, all the utility bills, up until 6 months ago her car payment - basically every thing. Occasionally she will buy food

file individually and get thee to a divorce lawyer. It's probably too late to save you any money or the house. But it's not too late to stop yourself from getting shafted year after year. She's making out like a bandit and you're sucking it up "for love." Screw that bovine excrement.

pisses me off and i have no part in it. lol

from another country is an excuse for ignorance about taxes .I'm pretty sure there are no tax free countries.

they have an Armed Insurrection in the streets of Manila within minutes

Even as an Architect she never paid Income Taxes in the Philippines

in fact this area votes for Democrats. this neighborhood in particular voted for Obama by about 80%.

And since your in a Filipino neighborhood ask those that lived and worked in the Philippines before coming to America. I can just about guarantee you not 1 of them paid income taxes unless they were very very wealthy by Philippine standards.

But she has been here 8 years now and I more then feel like I'm being scammed

He makes $130 Thousand she makes twenty thou. This is just a little pity party he's putting on for himself.

I know some people keep money separate, why be married if there are such big (and costly) secrets?

If she has stronger ties to her family somewhere else, than to you, why is she still even here?

been really good about working with folks. Last year I got caught up and filed forms for the past few years (I had some serious health issues and had avoided this task amongst others). The big year we messed up was 2006, but after that we had changed withholding and there was even a refund for 2009. So, I got on the phone with the IRS, filled out all the forms they asked for, and currently we still owe about $8000 (most of that is from 2006), with some on 2007 and 2008 ($1000 or less each of those years). They send an invoice monthly with everything detailed out. Anything we pay, and of course the 2009 refund, goes directly to paying 2006 first and then the other years.

They set it at a minimum payment of $200 per month (I often send more because you do get hit with penalties and interest so paying it off quicker is a better idea if you can). Since you are unemployed and may not want to take a $6000 hit to your savings all at once you could think about the payment plan option.

Give them a call and you can work it out.

But you also have a problem in that you and your wife need to have a serious talk about finances, that I can't help you with ...

YIKES. All because we are just struggling to pay and sometimes some of us just can't afford it.

Hospitals can take our houses when we get sick and can't pay bills remaining because crappy health insurance, or no insurance...

I wish I'd been born in Europe.

A $6000 surprise like that would infuriate me, and it shouldn't happen.

Is there any way she'll let you deal with her paycheck? My wife got me to go over her withholding on her last job so we were able to avoid just this kind of "surprise"

has been earning all along? This isn't a conversation you only have once a year.

I even filled out her revised W-4 for at the beginning of the year.

No I don't demand she hand over her pay stubs - I try to trust her and have "Faith in Her"

It's got to be pretty obvious when you have Tax Bills year after year that 1% is not the correct Tax Rate

:popcorn:

:evilgrin:

Seriously, how is it that you didn't know this until now instead of by looking at her pay stubs? We check ours regularly to make sure the right deductions are being taken out so there won't be any of these kind of "surprises."

After the fact are you saying he made her a contractor (1099) instead of a regular employee? If he didn't send her a copy you can file a complaint with the IRS.

If she's getting a 1099 is she even filling out a W4 for deductions?

Do you have separate bank accounts? Why not just set aside money each pay period for the tax bill, if she refuses to have deductions?

cover his ass. lol

And why would anyone working under the table think they have a right to unemployment benefits? When she told you she was filing for unemployment from her under-the-table job, didn't that seem odd to you?

position. the bummer thing is, when with a mate that drags you down by their choices.

i don't have an answer. just feel for you

Especially if there are children involved. This probably isn't the best place to look for advice in these kinds of matters.

Marriage counselor might be the best way to go?

Good luck to both of you.

Don

:argh:

Because it is worth it.

Next.

There are so many things that just don't add up here. She should have given you the 1099 if you are the one who did the taxes. I don't get how she could apply for unemployment if she never OFFICIALLY was an employee. Could she have misunderstood the employer treating her as a contractor? Where she would be considered self employed and still responsible for taxes, but I think not eligible for unemployment. (Did she actually get unemployment?)

As to the withholding, from your other comments, she is likely doing this on purpose as it gives her more money. It almost seems like she views her money as hers - and assumes that you have the responsibility of supporting both of you. Could that be cultural? What was her reaction when you finished the taxes and got this result? Does she understand that you can not afford this way of doing things?

Like a tax cheat ?

Imagine that , getting burned while trying to cheat on taxes , and being upset about it.

Though I agree the OP may be getting scammed.

She still had an obligation to declare it.

What am I supposed to do - demand she stay home barefoot and pregnant shitting out pancakes for some plumber.

As for the under the table part - I wasn't informed until I was doing our taxes for that year and asking her for her w-4 form for that job. Thats when she told me she had no taxes taken out because she worked under the table for that employer. And of course she worked for more then 1 employer that year hence the Unemployment Insurance

Of course the employer was also Filipino. Filipinos do the biggest injustices to their own countrymen here in America - but that would be a whole other thread all unto it's own

So either she was coming home with cash from her job or getting a paycheck. How could she have taxes taken out if she was coming home with cash?

How would you feel if your spouse demanded your paycheck every week

What the Fuck do you think I am - some kind of Monster

when financially connected like this.... NO secrets. everything out in the open and shared. actually, we simply do it with all things. makes marriage easy and no surprises.

if i was financially connected with another, that would be an expectation. i would be weary of the person that even hesitated in being open.

you love her. reading your posts. then boundaries set so you never find yourself in this place and you can stay married. has to be trust. with trust, there cant be secrets. the two dont mesh.

a last chance. everything above board. you are not an ass to ensure she doesnt fuck up again. she has done it at least twice. she adapts (happily) or consequence.

i just dont do the kinda of love that hurts me. never have been a fan of that.

into the household.
I don't equate "hey, where is all this cash coming from" with being "some kind of monster". You're either intentionally clueless or the two of you have some serious communication issues.

the subject gets a bit convoluted

The burden has always been on me - my whole life.

She is now doing a bit better. She earned $20,000 to my $130,000. So comparing paychecks is a bit of a soar subject to begin with. Her with a Bachelors in Architecture, and me with a 2 yr degree in Electronics, an apprenticeship as an Electrician and a couple of Technical Certificates in Network Engineering and Instrumentation.

You want me to rub it in her face that she was an accomplished Architect / Structural Engineer of almost 15 years experience that can't get any thing more then a menial job teaching Developmentally Disabled Adults "Not to Shit in their pants" - How would you feel

fucking taxes and stop bitching about the bill on DU.

I certainly don't do this well every year. I work project to project and at 53 yrs old its getting harder to find the next project.

So we go along to next year - and then what. Eventually this "Shell Game" on taxes is going to catch up with us and you know the IRS - they are going to get their money even if that means putting us out on the street.

Even without the Tax issue. The money was being saved for a "New Roof". As it is now every time we get a good wind a few more singles blow off the roof. Even if we tried to live in here with buckets all over the place every time it rains - at some point the county steps in and "Declares the Structure Uninhabitable". At which point the sheriff steps in and escorts you out of the home.

So what is wrong with being financially responsible anyway

I don't live on Credit Cards even thou i have them. I SAVE rather then borrow, and I PLAN for my future - is some thing WRONG with that

Nothing. You can start by paying your taxes. Problem solved.

If you understand the system and she doesn't, figure out a way to handle it. And given that this is the second time around and you understand the system, I think the blame rests squarely on you -- not her. You would probably be doing her a favor to divorce her.

"competition" with her? Very strange. Maybe you should get a divorce.

Married people do retain some privacy in some areas. Money isn't one of them.

If you wish to remain married :

1) Join your finances completely and open communication to prevent this 'issue' from occurring again.
2) DON'T join your finances and separate them completely...she files and you file and let her sink or swim.

If you don't want to stay married :

1) Get a divorce

sP

You don't want help, you want attention.

You piss and groan and want sympathy then tell anyone who tries to help to get lost.

You want everyone to feel soooo soooorrry for you while you suffer for years because of a woman. Poooor you

Have yourself a pity party, why doncha.

Under the table means cash.

If you were handed cash you would have known it was under the table and taxes were not involved , if you were handed a check without taxes taken out you would have known a 1099 was coming.

Either way , you knew.

I'm sitting there inputting all the income information and I ask her "What happened to the W-2 for XYZ employer"

She tells me "He didn't pay any taxes on me"

I says = "You mean the job was under the table"

She says - "Yes thats right"

Of course I asked are you sure and I think I even asked her to phone 1 of her friends who still worked for that employer. But of course this was also a very tenuous relationship. She was a "caregiver" in a home for "Developmentally Disabled Adults". The owner had given her a promotion but when challenged by 1 of her subordinate employees he buckles and fires her.

The indecent involved 1 of the residents being abused - so she reported it

you didn't know if your wife was receiving cash or checks the entire year ? ..and didn't know if she was paying taxes ? ..even though this same exact thing happened the year before ?

And the OP seems to have no problem admitting that his wife was defrauding the government.

LOLOLOL

It starts with you having done well. Have way more than I do. Then your spouse is working 'under the table'? You have the whole enchilada, yet your spouse does that? Then she takes unemployment on that? Is that not fraud? How can you be 'under the table' then take legit benefits? Why would honest people be doing 'under the table' stuff?
I just do not follow your story. Also, what country does your wife come from where there are no taxes? Where is it that she could own a nice house, have the whole enchilada, no less, and not pay taxes? To me, that sounds like a lame excuse on the half shell.
If we were allowed to file jointly, we'd own a home, we'd have savings. Can not tell you how this post makes me feel. You have all the rights in the world, all the comforts and your own home, and still, this shit.
Life in the front of the bus sounds pretty nice, actually.

why not get a legal separation and then do some sort of public notice announcing that you are no longer responsible for your (estranged) wife's debts, blah blah blah...

Then file your taxes separately and let her sink or swim.

Would that be possible where you live?

Just a question, though...when she blew up over having to pay taxes and you said, "But this is America...everyone pays taxes", did you also go into more detail than that? I mean, is she bright enough to understand that we pay taxes to provide certain services, etc.


not a good situation when one person in the relationship is actively undermining the efforts of the other.... :(

Couldn't resist.

:-)

marriages? Never heard it. Is it a Gospel Song or what?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r_DVyJh0ngo

:7

Next thing we know you'll be posting You Tube videos of yourself singing Karaoke to old Tiny Tim songs...


:scared:

changed, then that's one thing. But if you're just pissed at owing money, well...that's just something to work through. If you feel she doesn't understand how taxes work, then YOU make sure you help her fill out her forms for the type of withholding you want. Ask her to bring it home so you can review it.

...are you a fan of Archer?

New episode tonight...yea!

I lag about two years behind on TV, LOL.

It's on FX, if you get it.

He's also doing the voice of the main character in Bob's Burgers on Fox, after The Simpsons.

In this case greed, lack of respect, selfishness and willful disregard for the well being of her spouse.

When a selfish, greedy person doesn't give a shit about what happens to you or respect you - that's a pretty good reason for divorce.

and doesn't realize that she's going to owe until the time comes to pay. The OP says "I'm divorcing her over taxes", and so I have to take him at his word. Had he said "I'm divorcing her because she's irresponsible and doesn't give a shit about me..", that would make more sense.

He pretends that asking for her pay stub would be heinous but a good marriage partner wouldn't year after year risk their spouse going to jail and that is exactly where this type of government fraud leads.

Or maybe that's his solution. Allow his wife to get a criminal record and then she's deported.

Then he can have another Pity Party because the Big Bad Government took his wife.

The problem is that the money has been spent. If you told her that she needs to set aside 30% of her take home pay so that you will be able to cover the tax bill she might figure it out.

when she can spend it all and tell hubby that no taxes were taken? the OP is either a total softy or willfully ignorant, neither is good when it comes to money. :eyes:

...is usually a fatal flaw in a relationship.

She'll drag you down if you stay with her.

uh huh.

You all should discuss the family finances on a regular basis with all info on the table. My husband and I meet every Saturday to go very quickly over what's happening and what's coming. That way there are no surprises.

Also, if you want a return rather than bill, claim as many dependents as possible over the year. That's helped us to get a bigger return. Some argue that the government is making interest on our money, but we see them more as stockpiling it for us since we would spend it otherwise.

Good luck. Money issues have never been easy in a marriage.

I will merely suggest that you take a good, hard look at why you and she fit together, and decide if you can change your part in this financial dance.

Sorry you find yourself in this position. Honestly, I'd probably be considering divorce too.

then it appears, based on the information you have given, that she will have to consent to handing you her entire paycheck every time she gets it, so you can reserve what is necessary for taxes, then give her access to only what remains. Set up a separate bank account for her post-tax income and let her spend only out of that. Also, apportion part of it to cover the losses to date.

Since he says she is sending money back to relatives, she could take the cash to Western Union or where ever she is using to send it back, then bring him the remaining amount. He would have no way to check, unless he wants to stay in touch with her employers.

Unless he can get her to agree and to actually work ON the books so that her pay is traceable, he is in the situation of aiding and abetting her illegal working and tax dodging habits. If this were my spouse, I would be living alone in short order.

that are confusing the issue. There is no withholding on a 1099. If she is working for cash and getting 1099 form then he is tracking and that is fine but most people would use a check to pay in that scenario as it is much easier to deal with.

Something is amiss...

sP

You need to stop sticking you head in the sand. She burnt you once and you just assumed she would get the message and straighten up her mess? It appears that by not getting more involved in making sure that the mess didn't happen again you ended up enabling her to do it again.

Why on earth are you letting her take advantage of you? You need to sit down with her and have a reality check, establish you firm ground rules that she HAS to follow. I would give her a timeline to follow with consequences (divorse) if she fails. Make her split the housing bills (you can always put her contribution into an bank account in YOUR NAME ONLY and have it to provide some cushion to protect you from her financial messes). Check quarterly to make sure that her taxes are paid up. If her employer(s) is(are) not collecting adequate taxes then she needs to be making quarterly estimate payments).

For heaven sake, don't wait until January 2012 to have her lay the next disaster on your doorstep. I would tell her point blank that the two of you are not filing any more joint tax returns after the 2010 year. Make her deal with the IRS if she refuses to pay her own taxes. If she is way behind in paying her taxes as of the end of June 2011 you will know that Jan. 2012 will be looking pretty bad.

Have you considered having her sign a promissory note for the tax liabilities? If she does not pay you back then take her to court. Have the courts place a lien with her employer(s) to force her employer(s) to send you some of her paycheck every payday.

If you don't get your house in order then I have no sympathy for you what so ever. And don't come back to here and whine.

A man who won't ask to see his wife's pay stub is NOT going to sue her.

SHEEESH!!!

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you should be able to write it all off. Spend $500 on a good tax accountant and get her income wittled down to nothing. Did the employer 1099 her or W2? This really doesn't make a lot of sense.

her sole tax liability wouldn't be $6,000. She would get a personal exemption, standard deduction, and credit for 1/2 her SS tax if she was a 1099 employee. If she weren't married to you, her tax bill would be much lower with an income of only $20,000.

It is your $130,000 income and filing jointly that jacks up the liability. It is YOUR income that is contributing to this high bill. Given the disparity in incomes, you might be better off with a filing status of married but filing separately. Given your income and the problems you've had, it would be worthwhile to hire a tax adviser to help straighten this all out.

Or, you could blame her for all of your problems and get a divorce.

but this shit has me sideways

Yes I fully understand how progressive taxation works and realize our combined tax rate equals what is does primarily because of my income. But you do realize IF we were Not Married her tax rate of "Single and 1" would be 25%. With that in mind - just where does her employer get off only deducting $297 or 1.5% for a full year of Federal Income Tax on a $20,000 income. That is obviously a mistake under any circumstances.

You got to understand - I actually LOVE my Wife very very much

It just scares the ever lovin shit out of me to be slapped with these huge bills year after year. And then for her to play dumb and pretend she didn't realize this was going to happen just pisses me off

Well I'm going to pay all the taxes due today and then probably leave

Don't know where I'm going or what I'm going to do - just don't want to fight with her or be in the same room with her right now

Money stress is about the worst.

Why not tell her that, since you've run into this problem two years in a row, you need her to give you copies of her paycheck stubs so that you can stay on top of things and not run into a big bill at the end of the year every year?

If she balks at that, then you're really only left with two choices, decide to accept that this is likely to keep happening and plan for it in your budget through the year or give up and go through with the divorce. Otherwise, if it happens again next year, you'll have no one to blame but yourself.

and she is working contract. She should not be having anything taken out...there is no place to withhold on a 1099...

Something stinks...

sP

And depending on what type of income the 1099 is for (1099-S, 1099-G, 1099-R, 1099-MISC, etc), the tax implications may include an offset tax rate or fees depending on the rules for that particular 1099.
And from that same experience, there is usually not enough paid out on that 1099 to not become a hit when filing one with a W-2...
Being a reservist (yearly 1099-G added to my normal W-2 come tax time) really screwed with the taxable income when it came to the State of California(not so much the Feds, for some reason). Balancing my W-2 withholdings so I didn't have to pay every April was a pain, especially since there were a few years I got a few more weeks additional duty, which didn't get taxed like OT usually is on a W2, and I'd find myself owing $300 - $500 more a year than I had planned for that extra week or two of work.
Especially if you work contracts and non-standard hours, it's critical to keep track of your household income on a at least a monthly basis, and use that tax calculator the IRS has at least twice a year before it gets too late and you find you do get hit with a $2K - $10K tax bill.
I won $25K in a state lottery last year and they paid over $6K - a flat25% - to the IRS; which was reflected in the W-G2 they sent me last month. Good thing too, because that $25K doubled our household tax liability even after normal deductions and exemptions, even though it was only around half what the household income would have been without it. So at least we ended up getting back about the same as we would have without that lottery winning - and I didn't even change my withholdings (I was hoping to get some of that $6K back, but...oh well...bumped up to a higher tax bracket without enough deductions to offset it).

Haele

If you are considering a divorce over $8,600 in back taxes... maybe you just don't love your wife that much.

Got off the phone with the IRS a couple of hours ago and then I took a nap. Worrying about money / not sleeping and all. Going to cut a check and get it in the mail. 1/2 now and 1/2 in 30 days.

Have to pack a bag and be out of here in a couple of hours before she gets home - I'm done fighting over this

Just divorce her already. You don't have a marriage in the first place, so why keep pretending you do? If you had a marriage, you'd have been dealing with these things TOGETHER all along. It wouldn't be "your money" and "her money", it would be "our money" regardless of who brought it into the house, and you wouldn't believe that knowing the details of her income is some kind of invasion. Just out of curiosity, how much do you tell HER about what YOU earn and have withheld and what it's spent on and so on? Or is that none of her business, and it would be "monstrous" for her to expect you to tell her?

Just leave and quit the charade.

"...and we loose the house..."

Too snarky. Sorry.

Sure sounds like it.

The 1099 is the icing on the cake.

during the year in which they are due.

That is....if you owe $10,000 in federal income taxes, the law requires that you must have already paid at least 3/4th of it (or something like that). You are allowed to defer only a small percentage, legally. Probably for the reason you describe.

You can fill out her tax form (the 10-4 or whatever it's called, where you elect the deductions to take) for her. If I were you, that's what I would do. Alternatively, you can divorce her. A third choice is to continue to be her trash can for her to throw her bills into.