Hey, Fuckabee, I laid myself off today. Wanta know why?

Here's why, fuckstick...

Unmarried mothers.

That's right, mothers of "out-of-wedlock children" (your words, dickhead, not mine).

Three of those women, as a matter of fact.

Maybe a little background is in order...

For years, I have been thinking about opening the Coolest Garden Store in the world, but I really didn't need to and I am naturally a tad lazy. I like to sleep 'til noon, dontcha know.

But then Smith&Hawken started their slow descent into Hell and these two wonderfully talented women I know lost their jobs. This was in February '09 and there were no other jobs to be had, considering the State of our State (CA).

So I took a big chunk of my own money (because I do not believe in borrowing or gambling anything I am not prepare to lose - interesting concept, eh?), did some serious planning and opened that very store (as proclaimed by Garden Design magazine). I did it so those two talented women could continue living relatively comfortable lives, which include feeding their children.

What a concept, dontcha think? Actually spending a large chunk of retirement money to help some friends and to make total strangers happy is a cool thing to do. Try it and see. Not a day goes by that I do not hear "This is the (fill in the blank) store I have ever seen."

Then Smith&Hawken totally crashed and buned and I hired one of their top visual merchandisers.

She is also one of Those Women whom you hold in such ass-holish contempt. Yep, she, too, is raising one of those worthless "out-of-wedlock children".

Didn't they teach you that all of God's Children have a place in the choir? I learned that in Sunday School at Rosedale Baptist Church in Beaumont, Texas, way back in the 50's. Maybe you missed that class.

The store was doing quite nicely, in spite of the economy.

And then the shit hit the fan. We have had the craziest weather in memory over the last year. Our economy lives on grapes and grapes depend on certain weather patterns. As far as economic factors go, Sonoma County has been one of the hardest-hit counties in the nation (only 66 counties fared more poorly than ours over the past year). Have you heard anything regarding weird weather patterns? If not, come out here and you will get an earful.

OK, back to my point. I believe in business plans, not bail-outs. While I am able to pay the bills, it has gotten to the point where I have to decide between buying new inventory and one salary. Well, I am in the business of selling things, so I had to cut one salary.

Mine.

Not one of Those Women (who each have one child) or the irreplaceable (whom you would probably refer to as "illegal") Chavo, who is actually married with two young sons.

So, my store can now purchase new inventory and continue to support ten people.

That having been said, Fuckabee, do you have any further advice for me?

And could you ask Baby Jesus to do something about this damned weather? If not, could you ask him to come out here and show us how to turn all of this rain into cabernet?

Thank you for your time, dickhead,
Sonoman

PS I'll probably come to the store and hang out on some weekend days, should you find yourself in the neighborhood.
S.

PPS Despite the fact that I am one of those long-haired, dope-smoking liberals, I have no plans to file for unemployment.
S.

wrapped around a good Fuckabee rant. :yourock: K&R

edit- always posting in the wrong spot...

I like people with a little dirt under their fingernails. Good Luck!

Take that, Gomer HuyckaPyle...

And I am due beer and travel money and many experiences.

What a great fellow, human "bean" you are! If only this could catch on..if only more money could go to help others instead of hurt them....if only people did not have labels on them just because of who they are or their circumstances. We should all be marching to the tune of the same drummer. Too bad many feel they should be first and many of us shouldn't even be in THEIR parade. I hope your business really does well!!!! :applause:

K&R

but then again, i feel that way about all repukes.

i hope the weather picks up in CA and your store starts doing a booming biz!

gardening season is the planning stages for some parts of the country. The snow is still on the ground in Wisconsin, but I hope to do some urban gardening this year. :hi:

but I know where it would show up and don't want my people to be harassed by a bunch of 'baggers.

Sonoman

You can tell he isn't going hungry, by a long shot.

Truth be known, he's probably taking from the collection plate. One for God, one for me, one for God, one for me. Same with his so-called campaign...one for patriotism, one for me, one for...

Once they learn the rhythm...the song's the same.

Ain't that the truth.

Sonoman

:kick:

"Thank you for your time, dickhead."

:rofl:

Good for you!

:applause: :applause: :applause: :applause: :applause:

:headbang: :yourock:


Whereabouts is your store? Because if I'm ever in those parts, I will definitely drop by!

:patriot:

hugs and kisses for that wonderful story

way too much rain, much more than normal going on 2 years. When i first moved here drought made for small harvests, now too much rain/mold etc are making for small harvests.

If we had half a million more Sonomans, we would be OK!

It wouldn't take much.

People simply need to treat others more fairly.

Sonoman

Bless you with good wishes and all that good stuff.